Tag Archives: Sex Toys UK

Review – Doc Johnson Platinum The Slender Dildo

Doc Johnson Platinum The Slender silicone dildo

Disclaimer: I was provided with a free Doc Johnson Platinum The Slender Dildo by Sex Toys UK in exchange for my honest review. Click any image to embiggen.

The Slender Dildo, sold by Sex Toys UK, is a slimline silicone dildo in the Doc Johnson Platinum line, which is promoted as being suitable either for vaginal or anal use. I wanted to test it mainly because I was curious as to how Doc Johnson’s silicone would hold up to inspection, given their poor reputation for toy materials. Also, look at that colour!

Doc Johnson The Slender PackagingThe packaging for the toy is a clear blister pack with a purplish insert. It’s pretty basic and not too tacky, though likely to be unsuitable for storage as it’s a fair deal bigger than it needs to be.

It has a fairly large amount of useful information about the toy on the back, including about its material, shape, uses. it also promises a “life-like feel”. We’ll just cut the suspense, shall we? It doesn’t.

My Slender is in an absolutely beautiful shade of mint green that looks really tempting and elegant. It’s awesome and lovely to see a dildo not in lilac, pink or black for once. It also comes in a slightly aubergine purple colour elsewhere, but trust me, this is better.

Doc Johnson The Slender SizeThe Doc Johnson Slender is not a dildo for size queens and not a large toy by any means. It is around 6.75″ long with an insertable portion of about 6″. The shaft is just under an inch in diameter at its narrowest point under the head and tapers out gently to around 1.1″ where it meets the base. The bulbous head itself is wider, being around 1.3″ diameter at its widest point.

This makes it a great toy for those who prefer slimmer insertables or those who are relative newcomers to vaginal or anal penetration. I would say, though, that it could probably do with being a little longer so that, at the very least, there’s more to hold onto, but also because it tends to make things easier harness-wise. I also prefer longer toys personally.

Material-wise, the Slender is an interesting beast. It’s highly glossy to the touch and feels rubbery, almost squeaky as you run your fingers along it. It’s incredibly draggy, so you may want to use lube even though it’s slender. It is silicone, because I checked. Because it’s Doc Johnson we’re talking about here. It passed the flame test with flying colours, so yay.

It also picks up crap like a motherfucker, especially hair. Seriously, it got hairy just sitting upright on a board waiting to be photographed. How?! Whilst the silicone makes it easy to clean (and body-safe and yadda yadda, you know the drill), it is basically impossible to keep clean.

The Slender FlexibilityBy far the most noticeable aspect of the Slender is that it is very flexible, and even floppy, indeed. Not only can you bend it in half very easily, but you can even twist it around on itself.

This means that there is absolutely no way you can put pressure on your G-spot (or anywhere else), so stay away if that’s your thing. It does follow the curves of my vagina well, and therefore brushes over my G-spot, which feels nice, but there’s certainly not enough pressure or firmness for a real G-spot orgasm.

The Doc Johnson Platinum Slender is not just suitable for vaginal use, it’s for anal play too.

Now, I don’t use anal toys all that much, but this is, aha, a slender toy, so it’s touted as working well for beginners. I found the bulbous head slightly tricky to insert, but not as hard as it could be thanks to the decent taper. I should probably point out that I’m a super impatient masturbator, so with a little better anal preparation, insertion should be easier. That said, perhaps not too easy, as the flexibility of the toy can hinder here. You’ll likely need to guide the head of the toy in by gripping just behind it and sorting that out first. Once the head is in, the rest is much easier.

The flexibility of the Slender does make it much easier to take in terms of comfort, though. The head feels unusual, but the shaft is a great diameter for me as an unpractised anal user. Plus, for with its very flared base, it’s super safe. Did I enjoy it anally? I did. I think I’d likely prefer a toy with a more bumpy shaft and a less bulgy head, but the shape is really nice and the material, with its flex, is brilliant for noobs. It certainly felt pretty good and better than I expected.

Doc Johnson The Slender horizontal

As concerns strap-on use, I wasn’t able to try it out on a live partner, but it does have a much sturdier base than the flexibility of the toy would suggest, which is always helpful. It’s slim, but perhaps not long enough to satisfy everyone, especially when it comes to some of the shallower penetration positions. It does hand much more nicely in a harness than I would expect, too. That’s possibly because although the toy flexes incredibly easily under any pressure, it’s also very light and so it doesn’t get dragged towards the floor by its own weight. What with the slight curve up in its shape, it actually ends up basically horizontal.


I’ll cut to the chase. I’d recommend the Doc Johnson Platinum The Slender dildo for those wanting to use it for anal, especially for those inexperienced in anal play. It’s petite, comfy and not as hard to insert as it might seem. Plus, it felt good. I’d be cautious about recommending it for a strap-on: too short and flexible, but nice and slim and hangs well. I’d be even more unsure about recommending it for vaginal use. It won’t pass muster for fans of girth or length, it’s far too floppy to put ANY pressure anywhere, but it makes me come and feels very nice. It’ll likely do nothing for your G-spot, though.

So, bear your personal preferences in mind as you look back through my review and see if the properties of the Slender match up with what you’re looking for in a toy. It won’t suit everyone, but for those in its niche, I think it’s actually a pretty great little toy. It’s body-safe, real silicone and beautiful colour, even if mine is steadily beginning to resemble Chewbacca. If you won’t mind the flexibility, pick one up from Sex Toys UK today! ♦

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Review – Tantus Purr

Disclaimer: I was provided with a free Tantus Purr by SexToysUK in exchange for my honest review. YMMV. Click any of these pictures for larger images.

♦ The Purr by Tantus is a non-phallic, premium silicone dildo sold by SexToysUK that comes packaged with a watch battery bullet that I will ignore at all times. Let’s face it, this is not a vibrator. This is a dildo that comes with a bullet that is of pretty much the same standard as any cheap watch battery bullet out there (i.e. not worth my time). That said, it is a dildo which can accommodate a better bullet if you have one. But more on that later.

The dildo comes in the usual Tantus packaging, which is (as I’ve said in greater length before) an aesthetic clear plastic box with red accents. It is not particularly suited to long-term storage due to its tendency to split down the sides.

The Purr itself is around 7″ insertable in length and has a diameter of about 1.5″, with a slightly thicker head than shaft. It is made of a smooth, glossy silicone (non-porous, body-safe and sterilisable) that doesn’t have much of a noticeable drag, though that’s likely because I’m too busy noticing the texture. And textured it is, with small (perhaps half a centimetre wide), shallow ribs starting at about 1.75″ from the tip of the head and reaching to the base. The Purr is curved subtly forwards and, although it is flexible, is fairly firm.

One of the first things that struck me about my Tantus Purr was the colour. Mine is in a shimmery lilac called Purple Haze that I at first thought was far too obvious (because stop making so many bloody lilac sex toys, world) and girly for me to like. But it’s actually gorgeous and I think the reason for that is that it’s a lot more subtle than it seems at first. It isn’t just lilac, it has a sort of blueish shimmer in the light and the colour actually has a lot of depth to it. I’ve tried to capture that in my photos, but trust me when I say it looks a lot better in real life.

How does it feel? Well, I’ll tell you now that the texture is not nearly as pronounced as it looks. The smooth, rib-free head makes the Purr very easy to insert, but when the ribs do kick in, I don’t notice them as much as I expect to. They’re not that raised/deep, being about the same as you sometimes get on the inside of a tin can, but softer, obviously. It feels textured to me, but not in the way I’d expected and in comparison I find something like the Tantus Echo (much bigger ridges, but much less of them) a lot more noticeable. I’d say the amount on the Purr is probably just right for those who aren’t massive texture-whores or those new to texture. A little sniff of texture, but nothing too scary.

The Purr is a good girth, length and flexible firmness (not too hard, not too soft) for easy thrusting and the slightly thicker head coupled with the subtle curve of the shaft means that it does provide some nice stimulation to my g-spot, which really pushes me over the edge. It’s not what I’d really call a “g-spot toy”, though, so for harder-to-please g-spots, it may not suit. In any case, it feels fantastic to use and it’s beginning to seem like Tantus can do no wrong for me. Every toy I’ve had from them has been different, yet every toy has been uniquely satisfying. This one doesn’t blow my mind like the Max O2 or the Throb, but it feels really great.

What I found particularly interesting about thrusting with the Purr, is that it didn’t give me any noticeable hand-cramping from using it at all. I’m not sure why that is, but it’s very worth noting as it’s a problem most of my dildos give me. I wish I could pinpoint a reason (perhaps the smaller, floppier base?), but it may be worth trying for those who suffer with hand cramps like I do.

The hole in the base, for the bullet provided, is particularly useful for a number of reasons. You can use it with the bullet it comes with (not particularly satisfying for me), you can use it with the Tantus Suction Cup accessory and, my favourite, you can use it with other appropriately-shaped bullets. My top-tip? Get hold of a We Vibe Tango or Salsa (Salsa is slightly more suited to the shape, but both work) and, making sure to lube the hole well so that it doesn’t get jammed in there, use that instead. The rumblier vibrations carry very well through the silicone. This tip won’t work so well for harness use, sadly, as both vibrators stick out a fair way from the end, which I can’t really see working.

Speaking of harness-use, the Tantus Purr is described as both anal-safe and harness compatible due to the flared base. Whilst it does seem to be anal-safe (though I didn’t test it as an anal toy), I’m not sure about it’s suitability for a harness. I was worried at first about the rather small and somewhat floppy base just pulling through the O-ring, though that didn’t happen. But it did mean that my purple ribbed cock sat incredibly poorly in the harness and drooped like soggy spaghetti. Those more experienced with harness than I can make of that what they will, but it wouldn’t be my first choice for a strapped-on cock.


The Tantus Purr is yet another hit from Tantus, not that anyone should be surprised. It’s not my favourite of theirs by any means, but that’s like pointing out that Rattata isn’t my favourite of the generation one Pokemon: it’s still fucking awesome, it’s purple and it’s only not the best because of the seriously high level of Win. The Purr is a great non-phallic, textured dildo, even if the texture doesn’t quite pop as much as it looks like it should. I wish it did, but it feels fantastic anyway.

It can be used with the bullet that comes with it or without and you can add your own bullet too if it fits. Whilst I wouldn’t really call this a vibrator, it’s definitely a plus to be able to make your dildo buzz. It’s body-safe, sterilisable, incredibly high quality and very pretty too. And you can pick one up right now from SexToysUK for a very reasonable price! ♦

The highest quality silicone toys from Tantus

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Review – Tantus VIP Super Soft

♦ Disclaimer: I was provided with a free Tantus VIP Super Soft by SexToysUK in exchange for my honest review. Your Mileage May Vary. Clicking any of the pictures below will take you to the full-sized image.

The VIP Super Soft is a somewhat unusual dildo made by Tantus, one of my favourite manufacturers. It comes in the usual Tantus packaging, which you can read about in any of my other reviews for Tantus products.

It’s a fairly big dildo with balls, six inches long by 1.5 diameter, made out of Tantus’s Super Soft silicone material. This is the stuff that the squishy outer layer of Tantus’s O2 dildos like the Tantus Max is made out of. Unlike the O2 line of products, this dildo is soft silicone all the way through, with no inner core of firmer silicone. As with all Tantus silicone, it is body-safe and sterilisable.

It is really the softest dildo I’ve ever owned and is incredibly squishable compared to a normal silicone or even an O2 silicone dildo. It is softer than an erection but firmer than a soft cock, feeling a bit like a firm semi. It is much more flexible than that, though, as you can bend it in half and even stretch it out and it returns nicely to shape. I do think this is quite a robust dildo for that, but it does seem to be slightly susceptible to dents in the material.

The VIP Super Soft is a realistic-style cock, but in a simplified way. It has balls (stamped with the Tantus logo), a fairly pronounced head and a modelled frenulum, but on the other hand it has a smooth shaft with no veins and there is no real detail on the toy. I think this style is a nice balance between realistic and non-realistic, but I’m not exactly picky when it comes to that.

It’s a dildo which is sold by SexToysUK as being designed for pack and play: that is, to be worn in under your clothes like a packing cock and then to be used as a strap-on cock on a partner without having to switch dildos. Ideally, it should be soft enough to squeeze into your underwear, but hard enough to fuck with. Most dildos are too hard to pack and most packers (like my Mr Limpy) are far too soft to penetrate with, so something in the middle would be perfect.


The Tantus VIP Super Soft is, as I mentioned, quite like a semi-erection in terms of firmness, so it gives the wearer quite a bulge in the pants. In fact, it gives more of a bulge than a semi-on would, because the toy is obviously sized as a large fully-erect cock. So the look is not going to be as subtle as a normal packing cock. In fact, it’s a bit like walking around with a constant hard-on, not that I mind that look. In fact, I quite like it. I’m a big girl so I want a big-looking cock to balance me out.

The VIP Super Soft is obviously harness-compatible and sits nice and firmly in a harness due to its adequate balls. It makes for a somewhat droopy cock, again not quite fully erect, but I actually find it quite hard to find cocks that don’t droop quite a bit in the harness, so I wouldn’t say this one was particularly awful for it, despite the soft silicone. In fact, the upwards curve of the VIP Super Soft means it hangs a lot nicer than it otherwise might and looks pretty nice. I do genuinely love to have this dildo sticking out proudly from my fly and looking decently real enough to get my mental erection going.


The material is soft enough to pack, but is it firm enough for play? I remember reading a couple of reviews that left me doubtful of this and had resigned myself to using it as a purely decorative cock, but I was pleasantly surprised. It is actually firm enough for insertion and insertion that does something too! It felt good! The material is, remember, less soft than I expected and I found it felt absolutely fantastic on my g-spot. Now, perhaps my g-spot is slightly hard to find and somewhat easy to please, I’m still learning about what it’s like, so it might not work for you, but it did for me. I found that the curve of the VIP Super Soft’s shaft really helped it rub where it should and it felt great, though it’ll do nothing for you if you like a firm touch there.

So the VIP Super Soft works for that pretty well. Where it did really fail though is in deeper thrusting and A-spot (anterior fornix) stimulation, as well as at just sitting inside me and being squeezed around. It did nothing for me as something to contract on as it’s too squishy. It’s great shallowly but as soon as it gets deeper, it’s much less easy to feel the toy. And it’s definitely too soft to give me the ooh-pleasure-pain I love so much deep at the back of my vagina. However, because of this, it does mean you can basically go all-out on the thrusting, so if you like to pound super-fast but get caught out by firmness, this might be great for you.

Whether you’ll find this a toy you can actually use or whether it’s just decorative will likely depend on how you feel about material firmness, basically. I think the shape of the VIP Super Soft is great and I doubt many people would disagree with me there, but it’s the soft silicone that will sway you one way or the other. If you like firm to hard toys, don’t get this. If you need pressure or firmness on your g-spot, don’t get this. If you like to whack the depths of your vagina, don’t get this. But, if you like softer materials, I recommend this. If soft g-spot rubbing works for you, I recommend this. If you like to thrust hard but don’t like to be hit hard, I recommend this. It’s all about your preferences, of course, but for mine I love what this toy can do for me, even if it works less well in other areas.


The Tantus VIP Super Soft is a great toy for me. I love the look of it and the feel too. It’s large and fun and squishy, but also does the job of making me come and come well. It is fantastic quality, like every Tantus product, body-safe and sterilisable. It is harness compatible and can be packed, if a little obtrusively. If you want a subtle bulge, perhaps don’t go for this. It stands up well in a harness too, given its material. The toy has a great shape to it and I find it good on my g-spot and for shallow thrusting.

Is it the perfect pack and play dildo? Well, probably not. It’s on the edge of packable and could do with being a bit smaller or somehow just a bit less in your face about being down your pants. You can fuck with it, but it won’t suit everyone and some people are just going to find it too soft and meh. That said, there really aren’t a lot of dildos out there that you can pack and play with. It’s certainly the only one I own. And I love its versatility, even if it’s not perfect, and I love the look and style and squish and use of it. It’s a bit of a Marmite toy, I’d say. I won’t recommend it outright to everyone, but for some out there, especially people like me, this is going to be a fantastic toy for you. If you think you’ll share my enjoyment of the Tantus VIP Super Soft, you can pick it up now at SexToysUK. ♦

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Review – Sportsheets Sedeux Latigo Leather Harness

♦ Disclaimer: I was provided with a free Sportsheets Sedeux Latigo Leather Harness by Sex Toys UK in exchange for my honest review. Your Mileage May Vary.

The Latigo Leather is made by Sportsheets, specifically their sub-brand of Sedeux, which is focused on strap-on sex. It comes in an interesting but unsubtle card box, featuring a lingerie-clad blonde lady on two sides. The back has some product information and a surprisingly helpful few pictures with instructions for how to get it on (the harness, I mean, ahem). I have no real idea why the box is so what I would describe as ‘wibbly’, but it makes it a little annoying to store.

The Latigo Leather is a fairly basic harness with a pretty basic look: hardly gorgeous, but not ugly. Functional, is perhaps the term. There’s no jazzing it up here. It’s a four-way strap jockstrap-style harness (as oppose to a three-strap thong style), which means that two of the straps go around your hips like a belt and from these come two more straps which come down and around the back of your legs. These four straps then attach to an O-ring which, for the Latigo Leather harness, is held over a leather pad that forms a barrier between your pubic mound and the dildo. There are two reasons to perhaps prefer jockstrap-style to thong-style. Firstly, jockstrap-style may give the wearer more control over the harness’s movement. Secondly, there is no strap going between the legs in the way that a thong does, which means that you can actually access your vagina while wearing it. Always handy.

The harness fits hips up to 60″ (152cm), which is pretty large. For those of you not so au fait with measurements (like me), I’m around a UK size 18-20 and it fits me just fine with plenty of wiggle room left over. Obviously if you’re smaller, you’re going to have a fair bit of excess webbing, which could get annoying, but for me I like that it fits us bigger girls. Nice and inclusive.

Where size is a problem, on the other hand, is in the O-ring department. There’s only one that comes with the harness, a 1.5″ one. Sure, you can switch the ring out, but you’ll have to buy any other sizes separately, which is annoying. If you have one or two faithful 1.5″ dildos, it might not be a problem for you, but I only have half a dozen flared-base dildos and I still have ones both bigger and smaller than 1.5″. It would be much better if it came with other O-ring sizes like its sister the Vibrating Velvet Harness does.


So, the Latigo Leather is fairly easy to put on and to use. You step into the straps as if putting on underwear and then pull it up to sit on the right part of you. Once there, you adjust the tightness until it’s nice and snug by pulling the straps through ladder locks (basically the tighteners you get on backpack straps). It’s pretty easy to do.

What about inserting the dildo? Well, turns out actually you should have done that first. Because of the set-up on the Latigo Leather, changing the harness while it’s on is a real bitch. Let me explain. The O-ring attaches to the straps by a popper on the end of each strap, which loops through the O-ring and snaps closed. Easy enough? Not quite. It actually fastens backwards from what you’d expect, with the strap coming over the O-ring, through and under, not the other way around. This makes closing the poppers pretty fiddly.

It’s even harder to open the poppers, because they’re pretty tough and there’s only the smallest bit of excess strapping on them, meaning there’s nothing to pull on and no way to easily grab and open the poppers. I’ve found that you can change dildos in the strap-on with only having to undo one popper if you’re lucky, but it’s not easy or graceful and if you have a spare O-ring you want to switch to, you’ll need to do all four. For this reason, the Latigo Leather is really not suited to switching cocks during play (imagine with lubey hands!) or even really during foreplay. Your partner is not going to be wowed by you clumsily fiddling with this thing. If you like to switch cocks during play, it’s not for you.

It’s not exactly the most comfortable harness, either. OK, so I have little to compare it to, but it can’t be. It has a tendency to sit much lower on my crotch than I’d prefer and the leg straps have a tendency to slip down my legs and all out of place when I move. The only real way to combat these things is to pull all the straps, particularly the leg ones, pretty damn tight. And they’re thin nylon (again, think backpacks) straps, so this is NOT all that comfy. They don’t cut in or chafe me, as such, and they don’t hurt, but after a little while I notice red marks where they’ve been pressing on my legs and I get the desire to take the harness off ASAP. If you’re going for long sessions, this mightn’t be the best choice for you. That said, when it’s tightened up, the Latigo Leather is fairly snug and secure, so that’s good. It certainly bore the brunt of my weight wanging about back and forth!

One thing I really do like about the Latigo Leather is, well, the latigo leather. The leather pad is slightly stiff, which is great as it provides an extra bit of stability, though I find my dildos do still hang way lower than I’d like. I’m not sure if this is the rubber (and therefore stretchy) O-ring, the straps, the pad or what, but I’d like my cocks a little perkier. It certainly needs dildos with more upswing. The leather is good, though. The Vibrating Velvet’s pad is made of, duh, velvet and bunches up really unsexily and stupidly on my crotch, which I hate. The stiffness of the leather pad on the Latigo Leather means that this doesn’t happen at all, making it look a lot better than the velvet in use. That said, I do think the edges of the leather could have been finished a little nicer as it does just look like they cut it out with scissors and stopped there.


Look, the Sportsheets Sedeux Latigo Leather Harness is not exactly the finest harness out there, but it’s £28.95, what do you want? What I mean to say is, if you were after a really nice harness, you would have to pay really-nice-harness prices. The Latigo Leather is a basic, affordable harness which does the job, but doesn’t do it amazingly well. That said, I’m pretty pleased with mine. Sure, it’s not perfect, but it’s very good for the price and it’s something to work from. Harnesses can be pretty expensive, which makes this one a great starter.

It has some issues. The nylon straps dig in or slip, the whole thing sits too low and too floppy. I find the fact that it only comes with one O-ring pretty daft and I don’t really understand it.  But it looks fine and it works fine and the leather pad is much nicer than a velvet one. Plus, it fits larger bodies and the jockstrap-style is by far the superior of the two. If you want comfort, finesse or luxury, go elsewhere. If you want to explore harnesses but don’t want to push the boat out, this might suit. If you think it will, you can pick one up at Sex Toys UK now. ♦

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Giveaway! Travel I Rub My Fishie

UPDATE: This giveaway has now closed. The winner was @dejanestpas, congratulations!

This giveaway is open to everyone, everywhere!

So, as I hope you’ve noticed, I have a new name for my blog and a shiny new URL to match! I won’t go on and on about my reasons here, but to sum up: A) I wanted a paid domain to look a bit more professional and committed and also so I can eventually move to a self-hosted blog and B) I didn’t like the name Blacksilk’s Boudoir any more. I’m just not classy enough for it and it sounds a bit naff to me.

So I changed it! Welcome to BeingBlacksilk.com!

To celebrate my new name and domain, spread the word, and because the lovely Sex Toys UK were kind enough to give me a surplus of sex toys when I visited their HQ, I’m running a giveaway!

You can win a shiny, brand-new Travel I Rub My Fishie by Big Teaze Toys!

The Travel I Rub My Fishie is a vibrator made from skin-safe ABS plastic that looks awfully cute, if you’re into that kind of thing! I’m not much for cute or discreet, so I’m giving it away to you instead. But if you like pink or want a sex toy that can masquerade as a bath toy, this might be for you. Perfect for hiding from prying eyes. And, being waterproof, you can actually bathe with it too! It even comes with a little display stand for your tubside or shower. Why not give it a go?


This is my first giveaway, so be gentle. As mentioned above, this competition is open WORLDWIDE, but please make sure you’re over the age of consent in your country. Here’s the ways to enter!

♦ Follow Being Blacksilk on Twitter +1 entry
♦ Follow Sex Toys UK on Twitter +1 entry
♦ Like Being Blacksilk on Facebook +1 entry
♦ Share the contest on Facebook +2 entries
♦ Share the contest on Tumblr +2 entries
♦ Tweet about the giveaway up to once a day using this: “Win a Travel I Rub My Fishie in @BeingBlacksilk’s first #sextoy #giveaway! http://bit.ly/wEY31D Please RT!” +1 entry per day

Once you’ve done any and as many of those things as you’d like, please leave a comment on this blog post for each entry you earned (so if you earned +2 entries, leave 2 comments). If you’ve followed me or Sex Toys UK on Twitter or liked my page on Facebook, remember to leave the Twitter/Facebook name you used in the comment. If you shared or tweeted, remember to leave the link in the comment.

Please also make sure I have a way of contacting you to get your details if you win. So please leave a valid Twitter, Facebook or email address. The prize will be sent directly to you by me and I will not share your details. Entering under a pseudonym is fine, so long as you can eventually provide a real address if you win.

The giveaway ENDS on Wednesday, 14th of March at 11:59pm (GMT).
Entries after this time will not be counted. The winner will have 72 hours to respond to me after I contact them, if they don’t I will re-draw.

That’s all the boring stuff out of the way, go forth and enter and good luck!

UPDATE: This giveaway has now closed. The winner was @dejanestpas, congratulations!

February in London, Part 2 – Strangers on a Train

♦ In the last post I told you about the wonderful Erotic Meet trip to Sex Toys UK and how much fun we’d had meeting the staff and eating cupcakes and twanging rabbits. Finally at Luton station, we realised we were on the wrong side of the track (where else would you expect a sex toy warehouse?). Cue over half a dozen people with probably at least a dozen incredibly obvious carrier bags trying to manoeuvre the ticket barriers to the right bit of the station. And boy, those bags were obvious.

Sex Toys Addict, they seemed to say on them and I kind of liked it. But it got us some looks, I’ll give it that. I heard the station attendants talking about us, but sadly all I could make out was “Sex Toy Addict”, which I sort of already knew. I really wanted to know whether they were intrigued or scandalised or perhaps even thought we were some kind of cult.

On the train, it was busy. On the way up we’d been able to sit where we liked, but now we were lucky to actually get seats at all. I found myself standing next to a guy about my age who seemed quite intent on keeping the seat next to him free and was cheeky enough to be talking about the method of doing so right as I stood there. But it was the only seat left.

So now I was sat next to this guy who was still trying gamely to carry on his conversation to his two friends on the other side of the aisle. All three were drinking and it was clear they were off to London for a night out. After a few minutes of awkwardly sitting in the middle of a conversation, the guy to my right introduced himself and shook my hand to “make things a bit less awkward”.

Thus started one of the strangest and finest conversations with strangers I have ever had.

The friends, a girl and a guy, chimed in pointing out how weird he was for having introduced himself to a random person on a train and the conversation continued on, but this time it sort of carried me with it. They weren’t exactly talking to me, but I was nonetheless clearly now a part of the conversation. I was told how it was someone’s birthday and the other one was here only because he’d basically had his ticket paid for, I was encouraged to join in the mocking of the friend’s shirt. I was, at this point told a story about how the guy next to me had once mistakenly and drunkenly thought he had facial herpes because someone had borrowed his razor and left him with a rash.

At this point, the friends cringed. “I can’t believe you just talked to a random stranger about facial herpes” one of them said, despite the fact they’d clearly been encouraging him.

These guys were, quite frankly, kinda cool and I was enjoying being dragged into their banter and the somewhat bizarre nature of it too. And I was feeling brave. Normally I suck at talking to strangers but meeting a ton of new people only hours before and spending the whole afternoon in a sex toys extravaganza had emboldened me.

“I can hardly talk, ” I said. “I’ve just spent the day in a sex toy warehouse.” And I waved my carrier bag in support.

Suddenly I’d piqued their interest and I’d turned from innocent passerby into equally-weird-person. They egged me on to show them what was in the bag and I did so. They were particularly bemused by the I Rub My Fishie.

Well, you would be, wouldn’t you? It’s a bloody bug-eyed fish, fer chrissakes! So I explained the fish somewhat pathetically, not used to strangers, let alone talking sex toys to strangers. I showed them various other bits and pieces and eventually the guy next to me said: “Can I buy this off you?”

I both flabbered and gasted. A man I had never met had just asked to buy a vibrator off me on a train. I was cautious, because I am terrible cynic, but also by this point kinda buzzing with the events of the day and the fun of this slightly surreal experience.

“I’ll give you a fiver for it,” He said.

I considered it. I didn’t know how much it was worth, but I didn’t think it was one I was likely to use and it wasn’t insultingly low or anything. And plus, the main motivation, how fucking awesome was meeting a random person on a train and accidentally selling them a sex toy less than ten minutes later? Pretty fucking awesome.

Soon I had a fiver and he had a shiny new Loving Joy Wonder Touch Egg. I later found out it sells for £9.95, so he got a bargain there, but so did I because I got what I considered to be an awesome experience, a bit of cash and to give a stranger a sex toy he might well turn out to love!

Soon Good Boy Bad Boy had sold the guy a Sex Toys UK t-shirt because it turned out they were on the way to a gig and he was wearing a far-too-thick jumper and needed a t-shirt for the night anyway! His female friend ended up with Jilly‘s cock ring that she had no use for and soon I was asking the guy if I could blog this and giving out my blog address so the girl could put it in her phone.

I have never in my life been able to ask someone “Do you mind if I blog this?” and, if nothing else, that felt fantastic. I was a blogger, dammit, and I had told someone so!

The energy of the sex toy sharing and strange conversation had spread and I could barely believe any of it. It may not sound like much to you now, maybe you had to be there, but I thought it was brilliant and it left me buzzing. Just a surreal and serendipitous experience that really made me smile. I had accidentally sold a stranger a sex toy on a train.

Train guys, I hope you do find this blog entry in the end and I really hope you enjoyed your impulse buys! I hope that journey was as fun for you as I found it and if you’re reading this, please feel free to leave a comment. You were off to get drunk, if I recall, so it seems unlikely (I know I forgot a fair bit of my evening), but I’d love to hear from you. Thanks for a memorable train ride.

Read about the Erotic Meet itself here! ♦

February in London, Part 1 – The Sex Toys UK Tour!

♦ For a few months now I’ve been a member of a wonderful website for erotic creatives called Erotic Meet. In fact, you may remember I wrote this story for one of the competitions there. For a little longer than that, I’ve been active on the forums of Sex Toys UK, one of the UK’s leading online sex toy retailers. Not only that, but I review sex toys for them on a regular basis too.

So when I heard that not only was there going to be an Erotic Meet social in London on the 3rd of February, but that there would be a tour around the premises of Sex Toys UK too, I got rather over-excited! Sex writers and poets performing? Meeting many blogging friends? Sex toys?! Hell yes!

That it would mean meeting a whole load of new people and making many, many first impressions with people who were far more familiar with my filtered online voice didn’t occur to me until after the flurry of ticket-booking. Luckily, I had nothing to fear. And plus, I knew I was doing the right thing taking this fabulous opportunity and getting myself out there! Aren’t I brave? :P

Panicked packing was done, fitful sleeping was over and I waved goodbye to Crush knowing that he’d meet me later on in the day for the evening’s Erotic Meet festivities. For now I just had to navigate the London underground to somewhere I’d never been and then meet a bunch of people I’d never met based on about one and a half photos. Easy, right?

But it was! I rocked up to the station’s Starbucks with plenty of time to spare and just about managed to spot Jilly, Annie and Rose through the big windows.

“I think I recognise people, hopefully?” I mumbled. “For the tour? The sex toys tour?”

I had and hugs were given, which made me feel instantly among friends. More people turned up, including Innocent Loverboy, who I know from online, and others I didn’t: Shalla, LostWithoutLuna, Good Boy Bad Boy and Lusty. After much to-ing and fro-ing within the station we found our train and got on in a big clump, talking animatedly about the day ahead and discussing sex toys and generally scaring nearby Muggles. ILB produced a toy for the raffle and we were all quite enamoured with the idea of vibrating fingers.

At the offices itself we met Molly and DomSigns and Rebecca Lowrie and we were greeted at the door by Cara Sutra who in many ways is the online face of Sex Toys UK and who I’ve had the pleasure of dealing with in the past as both a reviewer and a forum user. She welcomed us all in to the reception and showroom and we were offered teas and coffees. Cara made the mistake of starting us off on a sex-related topic and I’m frankly pretty surprised she got us all to shut up long enough for the tour to start. :P

We were shown upstairs to the main office and introduced to the staff, then shown into the board room the table of which was covered literally edge to edge with sex toys from Sex Toys UK’s very own Loving Joy range.

Yes, even us hardcore sex toy lovers (and ILB, heh) were quite taken aback by this promised land. Now, I’ll readily admit to having not tried any of the Loving Joy range (though that will change as you’ll soon see), but I have to admit that I certainly should have by now. There’s plenty of them! Some looked intriguing, others terrifying, and they were all fairly decently priced and seem to be a good range of basic sex toys that cover a decent variety of uses. Tony, who works on the product side of the business, told us about how they are made, discussed ideas with us, heard our recommendations and complaints about sex toys in general and was incredibly knowledgeable about his subject. He gave us some insights into toys they’re designing at the moment and, to my sadness, explained that the range was mostly pink and lilac because, unfortunately, that’s what sells the best. Sort yourselves out, consumers.

Then, cakes occurred.

Honestly, just look at these fucking cakes. I mean, if nothing else went to show how generous Sex Toys UK were with us (and plenty else does), these cakes would. THEY ARE LIKE CAKES MADE OF ART! At first I felt like a philistine at the mere thought of destroying them. Then my tastebuds told me otherwise. Finally I sunk to depravity by declaring that if I was going to destroy one, I was damn well going to destroy the most flamboyant and ridiculous of them! With my face. And I did. I picked the second left on the top row. It was bloody gorgeous and gave me instant toothache, so you know it’s good.

I took one for Crush too, because there were tons left and I am a wonderful girlfriend.

Finally we went downstairs and were shown in small health-and-safety-sized groups around the warehouse, which, well, screw the promised land I mentioned earlier, put it that way. A MASSIVE VAULT OF FUCK OBJECTS! I like capital letters.

Cara showed us around and I played Identify The Sex Toy, which is fast becoming one of my favourite games. Then we went back to the reception and various other small groups trickled off, leaving us with an ever-changing group of people mooching around and talking about sex toys and pressing all the buttons on things like I used to do in Woolworths and squishing things and generally behaving like incredibly perverted children. Highlights included prodding the squeaky Try Me real-feel vagina, ogling a bunch of Tantus toys, gasping at the IRL length of the Fleshlight Freaks Frankenstein, comparing packing cock sizes, getting freaked out by the warty knobbles on the Bully Boy, marvelling at the wibbling three-prong Rabbit’s wibbles and THIS THING:

When everyone had been in the warehouse, it was sadly time to go and catch our train. But we weren’t leaving empty-handed. Oh, no.

Cara and the Sex Toys UK team’s generosity knows almost no bounds! Each of us were handed a goodie bag full of treats on our way out, with different contents for the boys (mostly Things To Put Your Penis In and not a single Thing To Put Up Your Arse)  and the girls. The contents of my bag looked like this:

And they were as follows:

  • Two coupons for a free porn rental from sextoysmovies.co.uk
  • Two coupons for £10 off when you spend £50 at Sex Toys UK (I am bound to use these)
  • Two inflatable objects that someone suggested were terrible hats but were probably frisbees
  • A Sex Toys UK lighter (always useful)
  • A bottle of Loving Joy Slide lubricant (later to be a life-saver, find out how soon)
  • A purple Pipedreams Lifetime Love Ring cock ring
  • A Travel I Rub My Fishie
  • A Seven Creations Erotic Shape vibrator (which seems not to be on the site)
  • A Lunch Boxxx travel case (I’ve been looking into storage, so this is awesome! A little miffed that the girls had red and all the boys got blue, though. I see what you did there. But still grateful!)
  • And finally, a toy that is conspicuously absent here . Want to know why? Read this.

I’m definitely going to be using the Lunch Boxx, because reviewing means I have lots of toys to try and store somewhere! And the porn and the coupons will come in handy, but I’m not all that sure I’ll ever use the Fishie, so I might ask Cara if she minds me doing a giveaway of that one. Watch this space!

Anyway, bags in hand, we chatted about various awesome blogger things and then went to find our train. And what a train journey that was!♦

Review – Doc Johnson Reflections Allure Glass Wand

♦ Disclaimer: I was provided with a free Doc Johnson Reflections Allure Glass Wand by SexToysUK in exchange for my honest and fair review. My opinions are my own and Your Mileage May Vary.

The Allure by Doc Johnson is marketed as a “gorgeous glass dildo” which is “not only perfect for internal pleasure but ideal for g-spot probing and stimulation too”. It is designed to be used internally and is a simple dildo which does not vibrate. It arrived in a very pretty, somewhat boho plastic box through which you can see the toy inside. Inside the box, the Allure rests in a clear plastic tray. Certainly, the packaging is pretty enough for a gift, however the toy doesn’t come with any kind of case or bag, which I consider an important item for a glass toy which might otherwise suffer a knock during travel or storage.

The toy is around 7″ long and about 1.5″ at its widest at the base. If you are anything like me, the widest part of that base will probably sit at around about the entrance of your vagina when fully inserted. The end of the base is likely to protrude, ideally leaving a handhold, but we’ll get to that. Being glass, it is hypo-allergenic and body safe.

Straight out of the box, the toy looks fabulous. But, not all that much like the promo picture. Instead of a creamy metallic hue, the toy is outright silver and incredibly reflective, as the name suggests. Mine came with a few very slight scratches towards the base, but these were very minor and a paying customer could probably get a refund if it bothered them. The Allure is wonderfully shaped to look at and very sensually curved. If you like your toys aesthetic, you may well be a fan of this one.

When I picked it up, the first thing I noticed is its weight. This thing is heavy. 275 grams of heavy, in fact, which doesn’t seem like a lot when I put it on paper, but boy is it heavier than you expect. If you’re used to heavy, particularly metal, toys, it might not seem so heavy to you, but I find it has a fair heft to it in my hand. Either way, it’s clearly a solid piece of glass rather than being hollow. This does have its plus side in its solidity (I dropped it from waist height onto a laminate floor and it was A-OK), but it does make it pretty clunky and unwieldy for use.

In fact, let’s get on to that. Being smooth glass, the Allure went in very easily even without any lube at all and was very comfortable when it got there. I found it filling, but not overly so, and the curve seemed helpful but not too severe. Working it back and forth with the tip pointing upwards inside me, I could feel the wand prodding pleasantly at my g-spot. However, since the curve is so gentle, I found it hard to tell which way up the toy was inside me at times. For me, I think the curvature of the tip was a little too shallow as I got the distinct sensation of my g-spot feeling very good, but not quite good enough without a fair bit more effort than I’d hope. A bit more of an extreme curve might be needed if you’re like me in that way.

Since the curve was slight and my g-spot probing needed a bit more help, I had to move back and forth quite quickly and firmly with the Allure and this is where some of the problems with the toy started to show themselves. It felt great, but it was hard work. The weight of the toy, particularly at the base, became really apparent and cumbersome and this, combined with that slight curve, made it really hard to angle the toy upwards towards my g-spot in the way I wanted until I eventually gave up and let it settle where it liked, providing me with less intense sensations.

Worse than this, though, when thrusting I noticed I found the Allure very hard to manipulate at all: a smooth, sloped shape with no grip to speak of, which is fairly heavy. If you had the whole of that base chunk to hold onto, it’d be OK, but as it is I found it hard to get purchase on the toy as I thrust and wiggled with it. Your fingers are left holding the toy as it tapers, which is difficult. If you’re going to be using a fair bit of lube with this toy, you should know that gripping the toy at the base while it’s lubed up there is practically impossible. Lubed or not, grip is where the plastic-covered pull cord comes in and I found myself with my hand through the loop and holding it, using it to pull back and forth on the toy.

This is far from ideal and my struggles to get to the toy comfy in my grip and where I wanted it made my hand very cramped and sore. Whilst I did come quite nicely with perhaps my first g-spot orgasm without any clitoral help, by the time I had my hand was in a fair bit of pain and discomfort. Every time I’ve used it, it’s hurt my hand to some degree.

The other problem I have with this incredibly pretty toy is that despite one of the main selling points of glass as a material being cooling and warming the toy, and despite the box itself proclaiming “can be cooled down for exciting play”, there is no information on how to do this anywhere in what you get. The instructions for use and care of the toy on the box are “hygienic”, “superior quality”, “dishwasher safe” and the above. That’s it. Can you plonk this right in the freezer? What about warming, which you didn’t even mention, can I shove it in the microwave? It’s very important that toys like this come with some care or usage instructions, but there’s nothing. It does not cost much to put a note in a box. Personally, I cooled my Allure in the fridge and heated it by hanging it in a small fabric bag on the radiator briefly.


The Doc Johnson Reflections Allure Glass Wand is an incredibly aesthetic toy that would probably be well-received as a gift due to its sensual curve and unusual material/colour combination. It certainly seems to be well-made and of quality, however it lets itself down in a few places. The material is gorgeous and smooth but too heavy. The shape and weight makes it hard to use successfully and comfortably and the curve of the toy is perhaps too shallow.

That said, I enjoyed using it, even thought it really hurts my hand, which says something. With a lighter weight (especially at the base), more grip on the ‘handle’ and some basic, vital care instructions (perhaps even a storage bag) included, this could have been a five-star review. As it is, I like it far more than the Icicles Vibrating Wand No 4 that I’ve also reviewed and found it to be of a higher quality, a more unique design and more pleasurable for me.

I like the Allure a lot, but I don’t love it and it does rather abuse me. What annoys me most is that I think it’s so close to being a toy I could really love, which is frustrating. I do enjoy it, though, and I’ll be coming back to use it again. If you think it sounds like it’s for you, head over to SexToysUK and pick it up. ♦

Why not read some more of my sex toy reviews?

Review – Icicles Glass G-Spot Vibrating Wand No4

♦ The lovely people at Sex Toys UK picked me this month to be one of the lucky ones to review one of the wide range of toys on their website and this is what I was given:

The Icicles 10 Function Glass G-Spot Vibrating Wand No4, priced at £32.95.

Packaging-wise, the Icicles 10 Function Glass G-Spot Wand No4 came in a nice box with with shiny product images and a silky feel. I had to stroke it just a little. It’s great quality and would make this toy pretty well-received as a gift.

The toy itself is made out of two pieces: the first, a slender (2.75″) glass wand with a curved tip, the second, a small bullet with wired controller. The idea is that you can use these toys separately – glass dildo and clit vibe – or together, by pushing the bullet into the finger hole at the bottom of the wand, as a vibrating glass wand.


The vibrator is a small bullet, connected to a see-through pink plastic controller with two buttons. The first button is an on/off button and the second, higher up on the device is for the mode. The two buttons are actually two ends of one bit of plastic so it’s really easy to find the other button without looking. The vibrator has ten functions which I have abysmally described as follows:

1- Low buzz
2- Medium buzz
3 – High buzz
4 – Rapid pulse
5 – Rapid pulse with double-length buzz every fifth
6 – Continuous rising and falling scale
7 – Rising and falling pulse scale
8 – Long sections of longer pulses followed by rapid pulses, repeated
9 – Seven quick pulses, one long buzz then back to continuous pulses
10 – Rapid pulses followed by a long buzz, repeated

Alternatively, since I am a Proper-Sex-Blogger-And-Everything I totally took video to show you exactly what this vibrator is like. Please see Exhibit A!

POSSIBLE EPILEPSY WARNING! I don’t know if this enough to set it off, but better safe than sorry. Also, the occasional grinding noise is probably my camera, not sure why.

The modes themselves are fairly varied, however to me modes 8 and 9 are really just space-fillers. It wouldn’t really lose much as a eight-function vibe. The controller has a discreet red LED on it that lights when it buzzes, which I quite like. I can imagine a few situations where it could be handy (like being deaf and using this on your partner maybe). But, more importantly than that light, what the hell is going on with the light on the bullet itself?

For some reason which completely escapes me (answers on a postcard), the bullet lights up stupidly BRIGHT WHITE when it buzzes! It’s entirely unnecessary and really off-putting. Honestly, when I first turned this vibrator on to play, the combination of the silly high-pitched drone (I’ll get to that in a second) and its ridiculous light show on the pulse settings made me physically burst into laughter.

After the laughter finally died down, the distraction factor was still huge. When I’m masturbating I want to be focused, lost in a dark sea of fantasies and feelings. I don’t want bonfire night, even with my eyes closed, keeping me out of a reverie. It’s a big no-no that comes with no plus points unless you find yourself out of emergency flares in a zombie apocalypse.

On the plus side, this is a fairly strong vibrator that competes with my trusty love egg. It packs some punch, but the problem is that it also much noisier than it probably needs to be. It’s loud in a sort of awful high-pitched way that is particularly off-putting and mode 6 even bloody sounds like an old Amiga game. Here’s another video of just how it sounds in the air and pressed against skin:

Tell me if I’m just being naive here, it’s just I’ve never had a vibrator that sounds this whiny and ugly and combined with the light it is horrendous. As a final deathblow, the vibrator also gets REALLY WARM when it’s in use. Now, I’m aware that for some this could be a plus, however, whilst I can take a little pleasant warmth, this thing gets sort of worryingly hot. It won’t hurt you, it’s just rather disturbing.

To sum up, it would basically be a good vibe if not for its slew of problems. That said, I came fairly easily when I tested it, so it does do the job.


This is quite simply lovely. Just look at it. It’s gorgeous. I’ve never had anything in glass before but I can tell you that the glass is smooth, clear and seems strong. What’s more, though pink is not normally my colour, the spirals around it are very fetching and much better than the Barbie-ish look of the controller.

The wand itself is pretty slim and this has its pros and cons. On the one hand, I really enjoyed that its slender size meant I could slide into my pussy with absolutely no effort even if I wasn’t fully ready for penetration. This has got to be a great G-spot wand for those who need less girth because it is so dainty. On the other hand, the lack of girth means that some people are going to be left wanting a little more. Though I really enjoyed the ease of use of the slimness, I did at times wish I was a little more full, especially when using the vibe on my clit. That said, different horses for different courses. Not everyone wants a big lump all the time and this wand will be great for when you want something a little smaller. Certainly, I didn’t think the size was a problem and mostly loved it.

I was also pleasantly surprised by the fact that I could actually really feel the spirals on the wand. They are NOT just for decoration, ladies and gents. They feel absolutely wonderful going in and you get a lovely sensation from each loop of the spiral. In general, the wand felt very good, though I confess that the closest I’ve got to anything designed for the G-spot before is a rabbit, so I’m not an expert on this. Whilst I have no real basis for comparison, I thought it was pretty good and it certainly made me come.

Being glass, the Icicles Wand also warms up very nicely and pretty quickly to body temperature, though I personally enjoyed its unwarmed cool touch against my slit. I also tried a bit of temperature play with it. I wrapped it up in an ice pack from the freezer for a view minutes before use and I can tell you that it felt wonderful. The coldness dissipated fairly quickly, but might stay longer if it was cooled more thoroughly. Lovely stuff though.

Essentially, the wand is very good and of a good quality. The size is great for slimness-lovers and it really hits the spot. It looks classy and the spirals feel great.


So, how do well does it all work together? Well, so-so. The only major problem with using them together like this is that you have to be really firm in pushing the bullet into the hole because it vibrates itself back out pretty easily, leaving you fumbling around and wasting time. On the plus side, the vibrations do carry down the shaft of the glass wand. However, I’m not convinced they do it particularly well. Certainly, it didn’t make that much of a difference for me. A vibrating glass wand is a great idea, but I think you might be better off looking at some of the more standard glass vibrators in the Icicles line if that’s what you’re after. The vibrations were not as strong as I’d have liked.

All in all, this is a great concept, it really is, but it’s let down on the execution. The glass wand is beautiful and wonderful whereas the vibrating bullet is an ugly sister: strong and powerful but too crass, brash and noisy to forgive. If you can put up with the son-et-lumière, go for it, you’ll enjoy this toy. If not, you might be better off buying a standard or a more ordinary vibrating glass dildo and a better vibrator separately. I hate to speak badly of such a lovely glass toy, but it really is the vibrator that lets it down.

I have to say that I would not buy the Icicles 10 Function Glass G-Spot Wand No4, at least certainly not for its price, but if this sounds like a toy you might enjoy, head over to SexToysUK. ♦

Why not read some more of my sex toy reviews?