Tag Archives: D&D

Purple Worm

♦ Gosh, it’s been a while since I’ve participated in Toy With Me Tuesday, hasn’t it? I love good pictures of good sex toys and I have plenty lying around that I’d love to post as well as ideas for several more in my head. But I have, you may be surprised to learn, a relaxed schedule for this blog and whilst that includes minimum posts per time (ideally one a week, one a fortnight as an absolute low if I can’t help it), it also includes maximum posts per time. Whilst I don’t have a set number for this, I start to feel a little spammy if I post more than 2-3 times a week. I know I don’t have the time to read blog posts that regularly, so why should I assume that others do?

So I don’t join in every week, or even every other week, with memes because there are so many that I like that I’d soon end up with posts on Tuesday, Wednesday and Sunday alone without even considering any of my posts that don’t fit into memes. And I certainly don’t want this blog to become just memes (not that there’s anything wrong with that). But I should start contributing more to them here and there, so here’s a little picture for TWMT.

Purple Wurm

I couldn’t call this anything other than “Purple Worm”. The Tantus Purr is almost segmented just like a worm, curves like a worm and its colour, Purple Haze, is undeniably in the lilac camp of Team Purple. Even the background is a purple glitter paradise and I love the contrast between the sharp, in focus glitter in the foreground and the blurry bokeh at the back.

Of course, as a massive geek, Purple Worm is a phrase that brings an entirely different image than this one to mind.

D&D Purple WormYes, rather than an incredibly good textured dildo that I for some reason compared to Rattata, the thing that leaps into my head (dear God, I hope not literally) is the 80 feet long, 40,000lb, entirely made-up Dungeons & Dragons monster. Does that seem like something I want to put near my vagina? Let me quote, “In battle, a purple worm forms into a coil 20 feet in diameter, biting and stinging anything within reach.” So… NOPE.

Luckily, while the D&D Purple Worm has an attack which swallows you whole, this purple worm is instead often subject to an attack that swallows it whole… Ladies. Dear God, why do they let me have a blog again? ♦

Toy with me Tuesday

Dildos & Dragons – The Barbarian

Toy with me Tuesday is about getting creative with your artistic side and taking pictures of your sex toy collection.

♦ The photo below is one I took a little while back for my review of the Tantus VIP Super Soft, a silicone dildo designed for both packing (wearing out and about to give the look of having a cock) and playing (fucking!). Since it was called the Super Soft, I really wanted to play up the soft side of it and give it a very luxurious, soft and sensual background.

A ferocious warrior who uses fury and instinct to bring down foes.

So, I picked up some furry items I had lying around and used those. The one more to the right is a fake fur shawl/scarf I picked up last Hallowe’en when I dressed up as Hel from Norse mythology/Dungeons & Dragons. The one more to the left is an actual real fur stole, which I know is contentious, but this thing has been dead over 75 years so owning him isn’t going to promote the fur trade and I figure if he’s already dead, I may as well treasure him and look after him. I’m not sure exactly what animal he is, but I call him Frederick and he only has one glass eye. One day I will make him an eyepatch.

Once I’d taken the photo, I realised how much it remind me of snowy tundra and thewy thighs. I like to imagine a magical carved phallus belonging to a barbarian king, breath vaporising from hot mouths in the icy air, naked bodies finding warmth on lavish piles of furs. Hence: The Barbarian.

Now I’ve thought of that I quite want to take a little series of dildo photos on that theme! You see, barbarian is one of the core character classes in D&D and I really think it’d be fun to take some photos based on some others. Warrior dildos? Mage dildos? Cleric dildos? God, I am a massive geek, aren’t I? :) ♦

Toy with me Tuesday

Beasties & Buttplugs

♦ Bit of a silly one for this week’s Toy With Me Tuesday. I took this photo ages ago when I wrote my review for the Fun Factory Bootie butt plug, but later decided it was a bit too daft to use. Excuse the shoddy background.

What you’re looking at is the beautiful purple Fun Factory Bootie nestled in the loving claws of a white dragon from Dungeons & Dragons (D&D). This particular white dragon is Crush’s model of Icingdeath (a nickname, real name Ingeloakastimizilian, because dragons are mental). He’s a dragon from RA Salvatore’s Drizzt books, if you’re curious (or perhaps even nerdy enough to know what I’m on about). He looks kinda derpy here, like all white dragons.

Doesn’t he look happy? Might be a bit big for him though. ♦

Toy with me Tuesday

Hot as Hel

♦ Well, since it’s Sunday and I’m sat here touching up photos from the Halloween party I went to yesterday anyway, I thought I’d join in Sinful Sunday and make it my first ever!

So, here’s a picture of my cleavage, Halloween style:

The theme was “Deities”, so I went as Hel, the goddess who presides over those dead souls that don’t go to Valhalla in Norse mythology. I’ve always loved Norse mythology (it’s my favourite mythology) and I’ve always liked Loki and his daughter Hel a lot. Hel is awesome and it makes for a cool costume, so I went for it.

I based my costume of Hel on the image of her in one of the Dungeons and Dragons books called Deities and Demigods, in which they list how you can represent gods from various mythologies in a D&D game. In the book, Hel looks like this:

So, yeah, that’s roughly what I looked like! Half-dead, half-beautiful with furs and robes and skulls and a white wig and awesomeness. It was great. Hope you like the half-zombied boobs! ♦

For more Sinful Sunday entries, click the image below.

Sinful Sunday

Vagina+2 vs. Piercing

♦ I’m extremely proud of that title :D

Today, esteemed ladies and gents of the tubes, I wish to talk to you about the unusual world of roleplay. Why unusual? Surely it’s hardly odd for a sex-blogger to be writing about roleplay? Ah, but you misunderstand me, dear reader.

This isn’t strict teacher and naughty pupil; this is oddly shaped multi-sided dice.

It’s hardly the lofty peak of the hobby but if you’re not sure what I mean by roleplay (I’m trying to keep this post simple so as not to confuse and alienate the uninitiated, but perhaps I underestimate how many people reading sex blogs are geeks), think Dungeons & Dragons and you’ll be pretty much there. “But what in all the blogosphere has that got to do with sex?” you might ask.

Normally, very little indeed.

Gamers, roleplayers, geeks. We’re not renowned for our sex appeal, or indeed our ability to fit into a normal social circle. It’s a bit of a stereotype, but like most it has some element of truth. Geeks are not supposed to get laid. For many the idea of a geek’s ‘healthy sex-life’ is doing the five-finger shuffle over a JPEG of Captain Janeway.

But it’s possible, oh so possible, to be a geek whilst getting great sex with real actual non-inflatable people. I’m living proof! Fractal and I, we’re a gamer couple, that mildly rare and beautiful thing. And we have an awful lot of marvellous sex.

Really, all of this is just background, a mildly entertaining prelude to what I’m really here to relate to you in this post.


I really, really like this picture. It’s inspired!
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I want to tell you of the glorious geeky titillation that is: Strip Opposed Dice Rolls :D

Of course you know all about the infamous Strip Poker, this is like that. Only for geeks. You and your little sex-crumpet take a twenty-sided dice each, you roll, the highest wins (because frankly making up stat modifiers and adding them would be taking it a little far :P).

You lose, you strip a little. And so it continues until one of you is in the buff and the other is a smug git.

All this came about from me and Fractal having a mock-argument one day and then one of us rolled a die and clamed to have used their superior roll to win the argument. And we were having fun with it and it suddenly occurred that with the slow removal of clothes it could be even more fun.

And it is. All that competitive drive, the slow reveal of flesh, the mock reluctance, the fake begrudging, the giggles from being so daft and geeky in such an odd way, the tension of the dice roll, the ever-present lust for each other. It makes for a silly but sexy way to get naked.

And whilst you’re naked, you might as well make the most of it, eh? ;) ♦