Tag Archives: Blogging

My Writing Process

I’ve been tagged in a meme-style thing that’s going around at the moment by SheBoppin. And it was really fun to do! I definitely enjoyed writing about writing, even if my writing at the moment is a bit different to how it might be normally.

I believe I’m supposed to tag people at the end to carry on the meme, but frankly I’ve no idea who hasn’t already done one and I’ve also always hated singling people out for stuff like this in case I leave someone out and upset them. So, if you’re reading this blog post and you haven’t done it yourself yet, consider yourself tagged!

Without further ado…

First Off: What am I working on?

I’m not! Or rather I’ve just finished something, so I’m actually between writing projects at the moment. The future, of course, holds more reviews, more Very Short Stories, more posts in general and more submissions to erotica anthologies. In fact, that’s what I’ve just finished. I’ve been a busy bee over the last week or so doing research, plotting, writing and self-editing for an anthology of historical erotica, specifically set in the 1920s.

It was hard! Not only has it been a little while since I’ve written erotic fiction of any real length but I’ve never done historical before. And I may never do so again! I very much enjoyed all my initial research (I’m quite a fan of the ’20s already, which helps), but I found myself researching a lot more during the actual story itself than I’d expected. At some points nearly every sentence required a Google search! Notably, I wasted at least half an hour trying to work out what 1920s department store changing rooms, if any, were like. Then I scrapped that bit entirely anyway. Yay.

In any case, the story’s been accepted, so watch this space for news on the anthology!

How does my work differ from others of its genre?

Well, that depends which of “my work” we’re talking about. when it comes to reviews, I think I probably go into a little more detail than most, which leaves my reviews thorough but perhaps a little lengthy. I’d love to be snappier and punchier with them, like some of my favourite reviewers, but I just can’t bring myself to leave anything out, just in case someone finds it helpful. I also don’t sugar the pill. I’ve seen some reviewers reviewing products that I just can’t believe they’ve actually enjoyed. Sure, people are different, but I sometimes wonder if they’re just much less critical than me.

When it comes to general sex blogging, I think I’m still a rambly but it’s more because of a sort of conversational tone than any thoroughness. Clearly I just can’t shut up. I also like to spatter the blog with geeky references, but, hey, that’s just my life. Full of nerd.

As for erotica, I actually don’t feel I’m really qualified to answer! I’d love to know! And, heck, if you think you know any distinctive features of my erotica, I’d love to know what you think they are. I won’t bite. For some of my erotica, especially my flash fiction, I’ve noticed a bit of a tendency to try to evoke and use nostalgia. I like that and I hope it works well.

Why do I like what I do?

Again, it depends. I’m not actually sure why I like reviews except that I love sex toys, I love having Very Important Opinions and I think I don’t actually suck at reviewing, which is nice. Plus, I enjoy setting up the photos of the toys too.

For writing about my actual sex life, well… I’m not actually sure I do any more. Yeah. Awkward. It’s not that Crush and I don’t have good sex any more, we totally do (and we also have sex which is just “fine”, because that’s relationships), it’s just that I don’t really think I’m interested in blogging about it any more. And I have no idea why. It’s something I’ve not really come to any decision on yet, sort of hoping to avoid it, but it shouldn’t stop me writing the blog.

At “worst”, the focus will shift even more onto reviews, erotica and stuff about sex rather than me going on about me having sex. Because I’m not actually sure what the point of that is any more. I started the blog to be sexual when I felt “real life” wasn’t fit for that. These days, well, I’m a fucking adult, I can talk about sex all I like in real life and anyone who doesn’t like it can go to hell. Not so much need for a specific space for it any more.

As for erotica, well, I’ve always loved to write creatively. I wanted to be an author for quite a chunk of my childhood. And now, whilst I’m not making a living off it (or really trying to at the moment), I guess an author is what I am. Which… still feels a bit fraudulent to say, but, hey, Amazon agrees with me. Writing creatively about sex, incidentally, still absolutely grabs me. I think I might be channelling all my energy for writing erotically about sex into fiction rather than fact, perhaps.

How does my writing process work?

Reviews are easy. During periodic testing, I first jot down anything that leaps out at me about the toy. It all goes into a draft post as it comes out of my head. I rearrange that to suit the flow of a review and then see what else I can mention about the toy when I sit and think about it. I then look back at a previous review of mine and follow that same rough structure, using my notes and adding more details where necessary. Then it’s a quick proofread and post. Done.

For fiction, it’s harder. Er, panic? If the theme of the story needs research (like my latest ’20s one), I research. I think over hooks and ideas for what the plot could be or what my angle on the theme might be. I make notes of snippets or inspirations that appeal to me. I try to find a story that grabs me. I can usually feel whether or not I can make an idea work.

Once I’ve got an idea, I try to hash out a vague order of events or scenes and then I just start writing, beginning to end. Rainy Mood is essential, because silence cripples my creative thought process (but not my other ones). If I’m on a topic that suits music (jazz for the ’20s or tango for Take Your Partner), I can work with one non-intrusive instrumental piece on repeat. No new stimuli.

When I’ve finally finished (I get quicker the further in I go), I get Crush to read over it for typos and inconsistencies. Then I send it to a beta-reader (or two) who is usually the divine and intensely skilled Lady Pandorah. If she likes it, I know it’s not crap. I work on any feedback or clarifications needed and then send it off!

e[lust] #57

Elust #57 Cammies on the Floor Image
Photo courtesy of Cammies on the Floor

Welcome to Elust #57

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #58? Start with the rules, come back May 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

I’ve Got 99 Problems

Vasectomy Blues

I’ve always wanted to call myself queer.

 

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Aoyama Yuki and My Very First Times

I don’t know how to be happy

 

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Sex News,Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Prostitution Laundering
That Body-safe Sex Toy Could Make You Sick
“Nice Shoes. Wanna Fuck?” — On Pick Up Lines
Rape prevention
Life of a Sheltered Child: Sex Toys (Part II)
A Tour of Fucking Sculptures Sex Toy Studio
Bashing Belle Knox: Because You GET Porn
Would You Pay $133 to See Midori Eat Fruit?

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Heart of Glass
Talking BDSM: Are safewords really necessary?
45 Seconds
I want
Whispered Words
Aftercare: In Kink and Erotica
Ariel Castro: The Man in the Mirror?
We Are Ethical
Apology tokens, punishments, and forgiveness

Erotic Fiction

Very Short Stories – If We Hadn’t Had Sex
Billy
Larry Knew Better
Lasting Impressions
The Boys
Sounds of a Kitten
Chemical (se)X
Shopping Together
Enjoy Being Seduced on the South Bank
Room 6
Caught In The Act
Packing Light
For your thighs only (007 Parody)

Erotic Non-Fiction

Dental Torture
My hand around your throat
Conversations With My Owner
Cuming Without You.
On My Knees Again
It Always Starts With A Kiss
World Champion, Yes, I Can!
Omne Trium Perfectum
When Good Sex Tapes Go Bad
Submission: An Initiation (Part Four)

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Hidden No More
Female condoms are fucking awesome!
Female Ejaculation and How to Achieve It
Mommy Doesn’t Want Sex
How To Train Your Vagina
Camp Dildo
Being slut shamed made me want more sex
Don’t say my name

Blogging

“Hidden” memes
A Brief History of Sex Blogging

Writing About Writing

Openings and Grabbing Your Reader

Poetry

Sense Memory – a Lusty Limerick

 

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Eroticon 2014 – Sunday, Part 2

Eroticon 2014 Schedule

♦ Soon, Sunday morning at Eroticon 2014 became Sunday afternoon. Deciding that my voice is not made for erotica, I headed to what looked a very interesting session, one by Josephine Myles and Anna Martin called Queer as Fuck: writing convincing gay erotica whatever your gender and sexuality.

I got a bit of a disappointment when the session started, learning that it was to focus almost wholly on male/male erotica as opposed to a selection from the LGBT+ spectrum. The speakers did say that they’d try to include some information on it, but that their expertise was in M/M writing. For a girl like me who’s coming each time closer to believing it’s personally easier and hotter to write about two women than anything else, that was a bit of a blow.

Still, although I neither read nor write a lot of M/M fiction, I resolved to learn more about it. After all, just because I haven’t yet, doesn’t mean I can’t. We learnt about how writers of different genders are perceived and some of the stereotypes and marginalisation (mostly of effeminate male characters) in gay fiction itself. Plus, there were some tips on masculine language that were interesting, even if me with my “we’re not so different, you and I” approach couldn’t fully endorse them.

Further, to add to my mope, we were told that gay male erotic novels are by far the biggest chunk of the LGBT+ market and that trans* and lesfic have the smallest share. At the end of the session I went up and asked Anna what she thought of why F/F erotica is so small considering same sex experiences are so high in the lists of top women’s fantasies. My own theory is that, given the amount of non-LGBT-specific calls for submission I’ve seen that want mostly hetero stories but will happily take a few lesbian stories, perhaps the market for girl on girl is getting subsumed and fulfilled by the generic erotica market.

Either way, it’s a subject very close to my own heart and I’m desperate to find out more and write a proper post about it, so do leave a comment if you’ve anything to say about it.

At some point in the day, I was gifted a very thoughtful copy of the sexy boardgame Tie and Tease (a BDSM version of the game Tease that was doing the blogger rounds a little while back) by DomSigns and Molly because they knew I loved three things: dice, games and kink. Thank you, both! I’m sure it’ll be something to write about once Crush and I have given it a few goes…

The final education session of the day saw me heading to Molly’s Powerful Post Writing: Writing & Editing for better blog content for a few always useful content tips, countless of which I’m probably breaking throughout these write-ups! But, as Molly herself told us, “Do what you do, not what I say.”

There was a lovely balance of considering the reader and considering SEO. You should know your most popular topics and write more about them, but you shouldn’t narrow down too much just to boost your stats. Stats, at the end of the day, are only so much and they don’t always want what readers want.

We were given tips on hooking the reader in and making them want more which actually mirrored a lot of advice I’ve heard before about fiction writing, so it was interesting to see the common threads.  Perhaps the best advice we could have been given, though, was give something of yourself and be honest, warts an’ all. That’s one of the reasons I started this blog and, although I try each post to stick to it, I’m sure there’s more I can do. I’m looking forward to trying.

The day drew to a close with High Tea and Erotica Readings, of which there was a generally awesome selection along with a few I didn’t personally care for. It ranged from deadly serious to supremely silly with everything in between. Plus, there was cake. Of course, each word drew us closer to the close of the day and the breaking of the spell. I said my goodbyes to those remaining (a fair few had had to leave for trains and the like during the readings) and made my way back to reality and Cardiff. And, happily, Crush.

While the sessions, being structured, are clear in my mind, I can’t remember well enough all the little moments I wish I could share with you: meeting personal heroes and new awesome people, gossip, hearing kind words, sharing thoughts, revelling in the commonality of sex writers, inside jokes, stolen chats and even just feeling comfortably silent and at home in a room of your peers.

I am beyond sad that there won’t be a UK Eroticon next year. I’ve come to need it. But I feel absolutely sure that if there’s a community that can pull together and arrange something, even just a social meet-up, it’s this one. If there are any efforts in that vein, I’d love to lend a hand. And if any Eroticon or sex writer folks are ever near my neck of the woods, just get in touch. I’m shy, but I’ve learnt one major thing over the years at Eroticon: meeting other sex writers is amazing and together we can do amazing things. ♦

e[lust] #55

rose Photo courtesy of Sex with Rose

Welcome to e[lust] – The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #56? Start with the rules, come back March 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Why I Post Nude Photos (and blog about sex)
Discovering Myself Through My Strap-On
Sex Toy Shaming and Bigoted Wise Cracks, FTW!

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Aftercare and BDSM Play
Two worlds

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Regulating Our Fantasies

Read More…

Eroticon 2014 Meet & Greet

♦ So, it’s nearly Eroticon 2014! Well, it’s not. But it’s nearly nearly it. And that’s close enough to start getting really excited!

For those that don’t know, Eroticon is a yearly convention for erotica writers and sex bloggers with many, many different sessions on everything from spanking to SEO and more. I’ve been going every year since it started and I love it. Absolutely fantastic.

Every year there’s a little online set of questions to serve as an introduction to those attending. Here are my answers!

What’s your name?

Blacksilk. It’s definitely my real name and everything.

What are you most looking forward to about Eroticon 2014?

The fantastic sessions, that’s one thing. They are just amazing. Although I find myself much more muddle-minded this year about which to go to. Some jump out obviously, but others could be equally good and it’s so hard to decide!

Aside from that, it’s seeing all my blog friends again. There are less events that we go to than there used to be, so it’s been far, far too long. I miss you!

What are you most nervous of about Eroticon 2014?

Last year I had, essentially, an incredibly sensitive stomach brought on by nerves, plus a great dollop of anxiety, which really made me far too poorly-feeling to get anywhere near the most out of the event. I’m nervous that’ll happen this year, but I’ll know what’s going on and how to deal with it this time, so I should be well-armed against it!

What do you hope to get from Eroticon 2014?

My mojo back. I’ve become a bit lacklustre lately and I know Eroticon will be full of absolutely bollock-loads of inspiration and, let’s be honest, mild jealousy at the motivation of others. That should be enough to get me back into the swing of things.

What is your bad erotica writer’s pen name?

Well, people often shorten Blacksilk to BS. Luckily, I don’t mind! With that in mind, it makes my bad erotica writer’s pen name… Robustia Orificeicle. I’ll bust your orifice…. icle. If you know what I mean. Er…

Readers, why not comment with your bad erotica writer’s pen name below?

Bad Erotica Writer's Name

Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2013 – #16

Well, Jesus Christ. I didn’t expect this.

Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2013

I’ll be honest in saying that I’ve been struggling with blogging over the last few months. Struggling to find the time, the willpower, the words. But mostly the time. I haven’t kept this blog as full and fascinating as I’d like. I’ve been neglecting it, unintentionally, and I’ve been feeling like a bit of a let down.

I was pretty certain that, if I made the Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2013 at all (and I wasn’t even certain of that!), it’d be rather low down the list. It’s probably not really the done thing to say I’d be disappointed with that, but I would be. I can, and have, done better.

So imagine my absolute delight to find that not only had I made the list, but that I’d actually done really well! Heck, incredibly well considering how badly I actually think I’ve been blogging! Gosh, I wonder what I could do under full steam? In any case, I am utterly thrilled to find Being Blacksilk at number 16 on the list, undeservedly positioned above and among my betters.

And how much the better to find blogging bestie Lady Pandorah crowning the list! Our blogs grew up together, hers is absolutely beautiful and inspiring and the Lady herself remains a constant support, faithful friend and beta-reader extraordinaire. Congratulations, lovely.

In any case, time for me to stop prattling on. Instead let me just finish by saying thank you to Rori for composing the list and finding my blog to her tastes, to my fellow blogging friends (far too numerous to name) for their camaraderie and support, to Crush for his love and patience and to, of course, my wonderful readers, whether occasional or devoted, for finding me worth your time. Thank you.

Without further ado, the Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2013:

Read More…

e[lust] #49

cheekyminx Photo courtesy of Love Hate Sex Cake

Welcome to e[lust] – The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #50? Start with the newly updated rules, come back September 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

A pill for that?

When I Get Annoyed, Shit Happens.

The Dildo Wars- Dildology & Doc Johnson

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Sense, Sensibility and Censorship

Triggers, Asses and Subby Places.

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

There is no Freedom Without Risk

Read More…

e[lust] #48

Icarus Photo courtesy of It Girl Rag Doll

Welcome to e[lust] – The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #49? Start with the newly updated rules, come back August 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

A Submissive’s Day

An Open Letter to Modern Female Feminists

Rape Porn: Rapists by Proxy?

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Innocent Dark and the Sweet Talk of the Storm

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Sex Toy Stories: Fifty Shades of Pink

Read More…

e[lust] #47

Chintz Curtain Condoms

Photo courtesy of Behind the Chintz Curtain

Welcome to e[lust] – The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #48? Start with the newly updated rules, come back July 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

This Scene Called Life
I Don’t Give A Fig
9 Reasons You SHOULD Have Sex on a First Date

~ Featured Posts (Molly’s Picks) ~

Firm
East Side Exhibitionism

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Threesomes: Being a Good Little Unicorn

Read More…

Hit List

♦ Just under a year ago I wrote a post making jokes about some of my odd search terms that have found this blog. Years before, I did the same thing. Now, I’m not saying you won’t get my latest and greatest interesting search term hits in this post, but I thought I’d do something a little different first.

Variety is the spice of a textured life, after all.

I thought it might be interesting, especially for fellow sex bloggers, to see what have been my most popular search terms over the last few months. What gets my blog found? What do people search for when they stumble across me?

So here’s my top ten hit list with duplicate results removed (e.g. with “sqweel 2” and “sqweel 2 reviews”, I’ve ignored the latter):

  1. sqweel 2
  2. fireman love doll
  3. fun factory bootie
  4. being blacksilk
  5. lelo mona 2 review
  6. stronic eins
  7. je joue uma
  8. tantus throb
  9. tickle my tush
  10. tantus max

So, as you can see, people are mainly finding my blog, or looking for my blog, for my sex toy reviews. The Sqweel 2, the Fun Factory Bootie and Stronic Eins, the LELO Mona 2, the Je Joue Uma and the Tantus Throb and Max are all toys I’ve reviewed. What I find interesting is that all of those toys are what I’d call quality, high-end toys. I didn’t like the Stronic Eins, for example, but it’s certainly a luxury toy.

I’ve also got a book review popping up, the unintentionally hilarious Tickle My Tush, a lot of people looking for Sam the Fireman Love Doll and then, as you might expect, people finding me directly by name. It’s all rather interesting.

And it’s something I encourage you all to do too. Go to your blog stats and take a look at what your blog is getting found for. Those are some of the main reasons people are looking for your site. That’s what people want that you provide. That’s what gets you strangers-turned-new-readers. It’s an important lesson in knowing how your blog sits in the wider web.

There you have it!

…OK, fine. Fine. You can have ten of the weird and wonderful search terms on my hit list too:

  1. shejaculate – Noooo! Don’t give any weight to those awful terms!
  2. very dirty,filthy,damn sexy photos of sexual intercouses – There is a disconnect in register somewhere here…
  3. dildo isolated – Lost, alone…
  4. why dont ann summers do the lelo ella – Because AS sucks. If you’ve levelled up enough in sex toys to want the LELO Ella, you should have levelled up enough to use any of the better sex toy shops.
  5. shelf full of dildos – From the director of a Fistful of Dollars…
  6. sexy naked couples playing dice – Hell, yes. How about me and Crush?
  7. trevithick day 2013 male voice choir up camborne hill – Oh, dear. I doubt this was what you were after.
  8. what is feeling girls after fuking sex photo – What IS girls feeling after fucking?
  9. victoria coren naked – Look, if you didn’t find any pictures of her here at all, there won’t be any of her naked.
  10. chemical burn sex toy – Ouch. Yes, unfortunately that’s a thing. But luckily YOU can stop it!

What are some of your most popular, most weird or most memorable search terms on your hit list?