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Little Known Facts

♦ I’m in the mood for sharing. There are things about me that you perhaps wouldn’t expect (or you might). There are interesting little snippets that can’t really hold the weight of an entire post on their own. So I thought I’d share some in a list of ten little known facts about your very own Blacksilk. In keeping with the blog, they’re largely sex and relationship facts or other relevant thingummies.

And here they are! ♦

  • I’d slept with Crush long before I ever went on a date with him. Luckily, we already knew each other very well.
  • Learn yo bitch’s particular flaps! For example, I prefer my finger-on-clitoris stimulation in clockwise circles with the intensity focused on the bottom left.
  • It took me about six months from the day I lost my virginity to the day I finally put a cock near my mouth.
  • I’ve been masturbated in an alley while trying not to giggle at impromptu dinosaur facts. Classy.
  • I won a creative writing award when I was 14. I’m glad to see that potential eventually paid off a little.
  • In a reversal of expectations, I’m into anal sex, but my boyfriend sadly isn’t.
  • I find it hard to crush on male actors, but very easy to crush on many of the characters they play.
  • I used to regularly masturbate to a CD released as an accompaniment to a roleplaying game. Nerd! (The game? Vampire: the Masquerade by White Wolf. The track in particular? Prey by Seraphim Shock. Doesn’t seem so silly on listening to it, does it?)
  • I had my first non-consent fantasy quite early in life (involving being tied up naked by bandits) and had some trouble coming to terms with it.
  • Green glitter reminds me of Crush, thanks to an incident involving the first time we slept in the same bed and a birthday party.

Beasties & Buttplugs

♦ Bit of a silly one for this week’s Toy With Me Tuesday. I took this photo ages ago when I wrote my review for the Fun Factory Bootie butt plug, but later decided it was a bit too daft to use. Excuse the shoddy background.

What you’re looking at is the beautiful purple Fun Factory Bootie nestled in the loving claws of a white dragon from Dungeons & Dragons (D&D). This particular white dragon is Crush’s model of Icingdeath (a nickname, real name Ingeloakastimizilian, because dragons are mental). He’s a dragon from RA Salvatore’s Drizzt books, if you’re curious (or perhaps even nerdy enough to know what I’m on about). He looks kinda derpy here, like all white dragons.

Doesn’t he look happy? Might be a bit big for him though. ♦

Toy with me Tuesday

Review – Fun Factory Bootie

♦ Disclaimer: I was provided with a free Fun Factory Bootie by Lovehoney in exchange for my honest review. Your Mileage May Vary.

The Fun Factory Bootie is a highly acclaimed butt plug that has been on the market for a few years now. It’s got a fair few reviews around out there, but Lovehoney were kind enough to ask my opinion too. It comes in a small cardboard packet with a clear plastic window on the front and a sophisticated image of the toy itself on the back. Inside the packet is the Bootie in a clear tray as well as a couple of information and product leaflets and a sachet of Fun Factory’s own lube.

The Bootie is made of high-grade silicone, which means it’s body-safe, hypoallergenic and sterilisable. It’s also fantastically easy to clean. The silicone is a lovely velvety-soft texture with very little drag on the skin and that only attracts a moderate amount of lint and dust. It is a lovely colour of purple and well-made, however there is a slight seam around the toy. You’re incredibly unlikely to feel this during use as it is soft and subtle, but it does slightly mar the quality of the plug.

The silicone is also interestingly versatile even within the toy: it ranges from very flexible and squishy where it is thinner (for example, the base) to firmer where it is thicker (as it reaches the head). This is wonderful as it means that the toy is flexible enough that the base never feels obtrusive but firm enough that it is not at all difficult to get the toy inside you.

In fact, the base is probably my favourite thing about this butt plug. This is only my second butt plug ever and the first one did not, ahem, sit well with me. It was uncomfortable and had a rubbery circular base, which was just obvious and annoying when I tried to sit down or walk around or really do anything. The Bootie, however, is wonderful. The base is long, meaning you don’t have to worry about accidental disappearing acts, and thin, meaning it sits comfortably between even my rather large arse cheeks. When you walk around with the Bootie in, the Bootie stays still and in place and doesn’t encumber you.

And in use? Well, it’s a small plug, only three inches long with the widest point being one inch in diameter, but as an anal novice, that’s pretty much what I need. It inserts very easily, given it has a fairly blunt tip, and actually seems to draw itself into place within my arse, which is great. But I don’t know that I like it.

OK, that’s not quite right. I like it, I’m just not sure it likes me. I’ve tried it a few times now, obviously, in various ways, and it always just ends up being uncomfortable. We tried it during sex and found that even though the base is long, it didn’t get in the way of anything. OK, so the Bootie turned itself 90 degrees inside me at every given opportunity, but it stayed inside me even when I thought it wouldn’t. After sex, though? I started getting uncomfy and had to take it out.

I used it during masturbation. I warmed myself up nicely with vibrations on my ass and mild fingering, just in case. I popped Bootie in and pressed my massage wand against the base. It felt fantastic. The vibrations travelled through the silicone like a dream and I learned I really like anal vibration. I came over and over and it stayed just where it was supposed to be, despite my muscles trying otherwise. But after that, after maybe five minutes of sitting around on my computer chair, it got uncomfortable and had to come out.

The same thing happens when I just try to wear it around the house or what have you. It feels a bit more comfy with the head pointed towards my back than my front, but after not too long I just need to take it out. I don’t really know why. It feels fantastic during masturbation with some added vibration and I can certainly recommend it for that, no question, but it just doesn’t like (to borrow a phrase from my American reviewer colleagues) “hanging out in my butt”.

 

I really want to like this butt plug and I genuinely do like using it during masturbation, but I can’t seem to get on with it for wearing, despite the base being perfect for just that. But, Bootie, thing is, it’s not you. It’s me. This toy has worked perfectly for hundreds of other people and has mostly got rave reviews. The quality, aside from the teensy seam, is clearly great, so it must just not be right for me. My best guess is that it’s the fact that the head curves and that perhaps I’d prefer a straight up and down butt plug.

In any case, the Fun Factory Bootie is a great quality butt plug that is safe, sexy, silicone and has a fantastically comfortable base. You might be like me and find it uncomfy or you might be like the majority of users and think it’s the bee’s knees.  Get out there, read a few more reviews of it and see what you think. And if you like it, head over to Lovehoney to pick it up for an incredibly reasonable price. ♦

Why not read some more of my sex toy reviews?

Review – Tickle My Tush

♦ Disclaimer: I was provided with a free copy of Dr Sadie Allison’s Tickle My Tush by Tickle Kitty in exchange for my honest review. My opinions are my own and Your Mileage May Vary.

I’ve never heard of Dr Sadie Allison before, but then she is described as America’s Pleasure Coach, so I’m not sure I’m expected to have heard of her. In any case when I was offered this book for review, I was intrigued. In the Fractal days I engaged in anal play a lot more: I both gave and received rimming, fingers were inserted into anuses, I took his cock up my arse now and then and I also gave him one or two prostate massages with a toy. Crush isn’t into arses. At all. So all that stopped with him. But I’ve been curious about getting back into what I can by myself.

So Tickle My Tush: Mild-to-Wild Analplay Adventures for Everybooty (yes, that is what it’s called) was very interesting to me. And, hey, it’s for “everybooty”, right? So no matter my ‘level’, I should find it useful.

We’ll start by judging it by its cover. Yeesh. It’s not discreet and looks like a copy of Heat magazine. It’s pretty garish and all kinds of cheesy, but we’re more interested in the contents here. Tickle My Tush is 135 pages long and has a lot of white space, so it makes for light reading. And I was making notes, so you should get through it even quicker.

Tickle My Tush covers a wide range of anal play, including massage, fingering, rimming, anal sex, prostate massage, strap-ons and anal sex toys. She mentions spanking a couple of times in a positive way, but it’s never given any further treatment in the book. Nothing. As someone who enjoys a good damn spanking and knows how well it works as arse-based pleasure, I found that a glaring omission.

She rightly dismisses the idea that anal play is “kinda gay” by pointing out that “it’s the gender of your partner – not the sexual activity – that defines your sexual orientation”. She tries to cater to differing levels of enthusiasm and urges that no-one should do anything they’re uncomfortable with, while calmly laying out the benefits. She never pressurises the reader and states that it’s perfectly possible to have a fulfilling sex life without any bum stuff.

There’s lots of information on safety, which is all very good. She also makes a very necessary fuss about taking your time and how important it is to relax and prepare. The condom dos and don’t are great and she extols the virtues of lube and plenty of it (even telling readers to avoid awful numbing lube). She also frequently calls on the reader to keep communicating with their partner and advises a sort of trial-and-feedback method of finding out what you like. Sure, there’s a bit of unnecessary repetition, but it’s not a massive deal and it’s better over-said than under-said.

The section on hygiene left me a little wanting. Dr Sadie says that you don’t really need to anally douche before engaging in anal play but does say that if it’d make you feel more relaxed or if you enjoy it, then go ahead. However, there’s no information on how to do it if you do want. I’d have loved more detail and more advice on this. You hear a lot of mixed messages on whether or not it’s a good idea to douche and for the unexperienced it can be very confusing.

It’s split into sensible chapters and is illustrated with cartoons which really help to show how certain positions and techniques work. One of the things I really liked was how she will occasionally mention that a particular position is good for lovers of different heights and weights or someone who is pregnant. In the strap-on section she even mentions that harnesses that sit elsewhere than the crotch may work well for disabled users, which is brilliant.

I particularly liked the section on anal sex toys, but for an unusual reason. I was reading this page and looking at the picture when suddenly I recognised a familiar face cock. Second from the left, it was obvious! That’s the Fun Factory Bandito! I own that! And looking at the rest I noticed that I could identify a bunch as toys made by Tantus! You can see my little annotations above. Yup, I was playing Identify the Sex Toy again. So that appealed to the toy geek in me.

What didn’t was that although she mentions the importance of flared bases on numerous occasions, she made no mention of anal toys needing to be non-porous for safe sharing or of how to sterilise toys. She also suggests that you should check your toys before use and if they have any “sharp edges or rough seams”, you should “file off any burrs”. No. You shouldn’t. You should send it back to the shop. Please don’t start filing your toys.

The book claims that it is for “everybooty” and this is where I started to get kinda miffed. It isn’t. Tickle My Tush is painfully heteronormative. All the illustrations are heterosexual and so is the advice. It is assumed you are a straight couple (no, you can’t be poly either). One page even gives a table showing the differences and similarities between men and women arse-wise and says that the G-spot can be stimulated with  “fingers, penis or curved-tip sextoy” but in the prostate column only mentions ” fingers or curved-tip sextoy”.

Sure, not every advice book needs to cover ever possible permutation of couples (and groups), but don’t say your book is for everyone when it blatantly isn’t.

But let’s finally acknowledge the elephant in the room, shall we? Not a single review of this book I’ve seen has been able to ignore the language. Some have called it “conversational”, others “too American”. I don’t think it’s either of those. It is ridiculously chatty, ridiculously “Cosmo”, just plain ridiculous and very, very unhelpful.

I’m not sure how well you can read that, but that’s the page in which Dr Sadie abolishes the English language and sets up her own. She says  “Wouldn’t you agree, that some of the hesitancy you may feel toward analplay has a lot to do with the hideous language we’ve been given to describe it?”

No.

And I’ll take rectum over “pleasure tunnel” any day.  Listen, the A-spot is already a thing, O-rings are already things (she makes it hard for herself in the strap-on chapter and is forced to go with ” the opening on the front of the harness ” instead). And the rest are just unhelpful or laughable. And there’s more: “vertical smile”, “shejaculation” and “ninja fingers”. She glues words together at every opportunity: “analplay”, “fingerpad”.  At least twice she writes “slowly” as “s-l-o-w-l-y”. There is absolutely no need to emphasise that the adverb “slowly” should be performed slowly. That’s why it’s an adverb.

Throughout the book she insists on calling the prostate the “He-spot” and uses all the alternate terms on the page shown above. Why not use the real words? They’re not hideous, they’re what those things are called. Being coy about it and creating a daft code is not good. Surely it reinforces the very taboos she’s trying to break? If Dr Sadie can’t say rectum and thinks words to do with anal sex are “hideous”, how is the every day Joe going to feel OK saying them? Just say what you mean. In an advice book, that is crucial. Because when it turns out that I want to find out more or I want to discuss this with my friends, I’m not going to able to do that if they haven’t read this book. “I want to shejaculate from getting fingerpadded in the pleasure inch” will not mean one single thing to them.

CONCLUSION

Tickle My Tush by Dr Sadie Allison is a short, but comprehensive book of advice and techniques for all kinds of anal play that is sadly marred by its insistence on using pathetically cutesy language to save us all from having to say “anus”. I like the word “anus”. It’s a good solid word. But the phrase “butt cleavage” makes me wonder if I’m reading a copy of Cosmo written by a 13-year-old lunatic (so, a copy of Cosmo then). Dr Sadie has some very fine advice and really seems to know her stuff in techniques, consent issues and safety worries.

Really all this book would need to do to win my approval would be to get rid of the silly language and overly jazzy tone and either drop the façade that it’s for everyone or be a little more inclusive (preferably the latter). As it is, it does contain some worthy advice that you will probably find useful, but I can’t get around the way that information is presented. It makes me laugh and rage at the same time. That said, if you feel the good information here outweighs the, well, “butt cleavage”, you can pick up a copy from Tickle Kitty. ♦

Why not read some more of my sex toy reviews?

T Minus Two

♦ With the weekend fast approaching I started to prepare for my second stay with Fractal in the big city today. I’ve decided to get creative and I’m making something to spice up our weekend (not that it needs any further spicing, we’re practically a Vindaloo already). So I trawled through what can be termed Charity Shop Road (not its real name, of course, but I bloody love living so close to so many bargains!) looking for one particular ingredient, went into a kiddies toy shop, bought stupidly tiny white lacy knickers from Peacocks (my second favourite place for cheap sexy underwear, the other being Primark. Classy ain’t I?) and took advantage of Superdrug’s 2-for-1 deal on lube. Durex at that.

I bought the warming one and the tingly one. I didn’t even realise Superdrug sold lube! To be perfectly honest I’ve never bought any before. We’ve never really needed it. But we’ve been wanting to try out a bit of, as I saw an Ann Summer’s toy once memoraby put it, bumlove. We’ve already tried an anal vibrator up my jacksie and that felt really good so it should be fun. I felt a tad nervous buying it, probably wouldn’t have felt as bad in Ann Summers as they’re used to selling sex stuff. Superdrug staff are mostly old biddies in this store. But its really just the same as buying sanitary stuff, or condoms. Nothing to be nervous about.

Anyway I’m now busy sewing and I’m damn pleased with everything so far. I can’t wait to show Fractal. And when I have I shall reveal what the mystery thingie is on here, since I can’t now as he has a pesky habit of being interested in my blog.

Soon I shall have the joys of attempting to pack for the weekend (this is much more difficult these days as with my new found confidence and my wish to be extra sexy for Fractal I have to look fabulous, complete with sexy undergarments, everyday. He says I look sexy anyway but pfeh, what does he know), careful re-shaving of legs and ladybits and last minute panic.

And all in the name of romance.

Oh, and bucketloads of kinky sex ;) ♦

Blacksilk’s Fantasies #2 – Playing Doctors and Nurses

♦ This is the second in a series of posts of diary entries from the little book of fantasies that Fractal and I keep. You can read the first entry in the series here.

Fractal was very silly recently and got a little inebriated and managed to fall and cut his chin and knee up a little nastily. So I posited that when I visit this weekend I’d have to nurse him better, (to which he immediately claimed that he’d injured his manly bits in the process and they’d need extra attention) and the conversation soon turned to sexy nurse outfits.

And that got me thinking. That night, in bed, feeling a little frisky in his absence I got thinking in further and started to dream up this little fantasy as I touched myself… ♦

We suspend disbelief for a while and decide to try out something a little different in the way of roleplay, wearing costumes and taking on different roles than we have before. I am dressed as a sexy nurse in a little hat and a tight white outfit, short-skirted and revealing; you are dressed in a shirt, trousers, a white coat and white gloves with a stethoscope draped around your neck. You make the pretence of needing to feel in your pocket for something but, as a diligent doctor, you cannot possibly make your doctor’s gloves unhygienic by doing so, or so you tell me. You address me as ‘nurse’ and ask me to help you. I feel in your pocket but all that is there is the outline of your sex, already hard through the fabric as you see me in my skimpy costume.

You gasp, not in pleasure, but in fake pain and claim that my sudden touch has caused you injury to your sex. You insist that, as a nurse, it is my medical duty to try and make it better and I, playing the innocent, say “of course, Doctor”, pull down your zip and release your hard cock into my hands. I cover my hands and your sex in a layer of massage oil before beginning to stroke it, softly at first and then more firmly, pretending not to notice your breathing get heavy just as you pretend to try and hide it. I run my hands over your cock then switch to firm, swift circles on the tip of it, which I know you enjoy, making sure to pass my fingers over the underside of the rim.

“This still isn’t working, Nurse,” you say with a glint in your eye, “perhaps, you could try using your mouth?” I pause a moment, unsure if this is standard medical procedure but, knowing you are in charge and wishing to be obedient, I kneel and take you into my mouth, sucking slowly at your cock. When you are satisfied with this you stop me and tell me that you feel much better but that you have noticed something worrying. I ask what it is and you tell me to turn around and bend over. I do so, and you can see, just as you suspected, that I am wearing no underwear under my uniform, you take a quick gloved feel of my behind before standing me up again and looking stern. You tell me that it’s a hygiene breach to walk around like that and I implore you not to tell anyone.

Sepia Hospital

“Please, I’ll do anything, I beg you.” I say and you reply “I’m afraid, however, that you’ll have to be punished for your bad behaviour. Bend over again.”

“Yes, doctor”

As I do so you lift up the skirt of my uniform and I gasp as you spank me firmly on the behind. You continue this and I can feel myself getting more and more wet as I let out a moan with each stinging strike. By the time you consider me sufficiently I am aching for you but you have more in store. You tell me I’m looking a little off-colour, unsurprising after my spanking but I don’t question doctor’s orders, you tell me to open the front of my uniform and as I unzip it you surreptitiously place the end of your stethoscope into a nearby cup of ice. When my breasts are uncovered you start to ‘check my breathing’ with the stethoscope, placing the now freezing cold metal onto my skin in various places before pressing it down firmly on each nipple as I gasp in shock.

You keep up a professional act and after making some ‘hmm’-ing noises you tell me you need to take my temperature and once again lean me forward, this time placing my hands on the nearby bed. You flip up my skirt again and whilst I wait in anticipation you remove your trousers and underpants. I can hear the noise of the fabric and grow eager for what is to come next. Instead of what I suspect however, you slowly insert the Wingman, our slim anal vibrator, in the pretence of a thermometer, into my anus, turning up the vibration fully once there. I moan and I you lean forward, from behind, to tease my nipples, all façade of a professional relationship gone with your lust for me. I can feel your hard cock touching teasingly at my labia, circling and rubbing against my clitoris. But you do not enter me.

Within no time at all I cannot take it any longer, “please, Doctor, please take me. Please.” And you finally enter me, moving slowly in and out. “Faster, please!” I moan and you start thrusting harder and faster, deep into me as the toy vibrates in my ass. “You’ve been a bad girl, Nurse” you say as you pinch and twist my nipples and slap my behind now and then. After the pleasure has built up to such an extent that neither of us can take it any more I start to shudder in climax as you come inside me. When we are both sated we stop, and fall into each others arms for a while.

♦ Want to read Fractal’s side of the fantasy diary? His first entry in the series can be found here, where he ties me up and licks… ♦