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Tools of the Trade

♦ Today, Crush and I had a lot of fun. I’m not going to go into a lot of details, I think I might leave those to your imagination. But what I will show you this Sinful Sunday are the tools of the trade I used to inflict such deliciousness on both him and myself. The black handcuffs (very similar to these) were there to restrain him, the key to set him free. The ceramic dildo, the Lovemoiselle Aveline which you can see covered in my slickness here, was used on myself to great effect. It’s such a fantastic dildo and I’m always impressed at the sheer speed with which it gets me off. I teased Crush by using it on myself while all he could do was lie there tied up and pawing at my nipples.

Tools of the Trade: handcuffs and ceramic dildo

I used the Tantus C-ring cock ring (in gorgeous cherry) over his cock, more to pull him about than to really keep him hard and begging as he was already very good at both of those. The Leather Delights soft ballgag was placed gently in his mouth under my full-face hood (not shown), which was used with a blindfold to keep Crush in the dark while I tormented him. As for my very favourite vibrator, the We-Vibe Tango, well, Crush again got to hear me moan and come, both with and without his hungry, lustful input.

Tools of the Trade: ball gag, vibrator and cock ring

I also used various other, not-pictured sensation tools such as a feather stick, a strip of vintage fur, my seven-pinwheel Wartenberg wheel, the edge of a credit card to give him various sensations all over his filthy, sexy body while he was at my mercy. Not only that, but I even managed to give my new Tantus Cush a trial-run to kickstart my testing of it for an upcoming review, so the session was practical as well as just absolutely orgasmically erotic.

I teased him, tortured him, told him what to do, denied him my body, made him beg, made him plead, made him fuck me until I was done. I ordered him around and we both loved it. The tools of the trade pictured here were all immensely helpful in achieving what I wanted, but I think that what really made it all work is that deep inside this sub, there is a dom waiting to get out. And deep inside Crush’s dom heart there is a sub who likes, if not pain and punishment like I do, then being told what to do and not always getting what he wants. The tools of the trade give me, well, the tools, but it’s me that has the power, not my equipment.

What are your favourite tools of the trade? Which do you love most to use on someone or have used on you? Would you feel complete without them? ♦

Sinful Sunday

Review – Fetish Fantasy Spandex Full-Face Hood

Fetish Fantasy Spandex Full-Face Hood

Disclaimer: I was provided with a free Fetish Fantasy Spandex Full-Face Hood by Temptations Direct in exchange for my honest review. Click any image to embiggen.

♦ The Fetish Fantasy Spandex Full-Face Hood is a bondage accessory in Pipedream’s notorious and oft ridiculous Fetish Fantasy line.  It’ll be another short review for providers Temptations Direct, as there really isn’t much to say about an item this basic.

I’ve been curious about picking up a hood which obscures my face for a while now as I can’t help thinking it’d be easier to take pictures of myself with a covered face. The Spandex Full-Face Hood seemed to fit that bill and, since I like to be blindfolded and restrained, I thought it could be fun in those ways too. Yeah, it wasn’t, but let me get to that.

Spandex Full-Face Hood Packaging

The box is just what you come to expect from Fetish Fantasy, though is probably on the less porny end of their scale, though that doesn’t say a lot.

Inside you find the hood itself and a… Wait, what?

No Free Mask? Hallelujah!

As you might expect, the Spandex Full-Face Hood covers not only the head but the face as well; it’s described as “one size fits most” and fit me and Crush just fine. It stretches nicely and is neither too tight or too loose. It has plenty of room around the neck so it doesn’t feel strangly, but it could perhaps come down a little longer in the neck.

Seam of the Spandex Full-Face HoodCrush found that it wasn’t all that comfortable to wear, but admitted that that may be because it’s a hood as opposed to this hood, though. He’s certainly more fussy than I am, as I found it fairly comfortable in general, but we did both agree on hating one thing. Although, the hood is shaped slightly, with a bulge at the front where the face goes, for extra comfort, this means that the seam runs down the centre of the hood from front to back. And it’s really annoying. It’s either dead centre on your face, which feels quite forced, or it sits slightly to one side, which is still quite irritating and now it also looks irritating too. You can even see it from the inside while you’re wearing it, which makes perfectionists liable to keep fiddling to get it centred.

The Spandex Full-Face Hood is very lightweight and therefore incredibly easy to breathe through and hear through, but sadly also to see through. The box states that it allows “just a hint of light in while impairing vision”, but that’s nonsense. Oh, sure, you’re not 20/20 with the hood on, but you can basically see everything. How many fingers am I holding up? Check. Reading? Check.

Fuck, I could even play Saints Row: The Third (my current fave) with it on. So I did. And it was fine. Here’s your proof:

That’s me driving through da ‘hood in a hood. And getting Near Misses to boost my Respect. And not hitting a single damn thing. I then went on to do a full story mission in while wearing the Spandex Full-Face Hood and then take a video of me precision head-shotting pedestrians, as you do. All, supposedly, with impaired vision and just a hint of light.

Yeah, no, there’s no way I should be able to play a high-speed video game while wearing a bondage hood or anything claiming to impair vision. It’s like you’re wearing slightly shit sunglasses. Weirdly, this is one Fetish Fantasy product that actually could have done with the crappy Free Mask they usually bundle in! Then you might have a chance of actually “impairing vision”.

One plus point is that the Spandex Full-Face Hood at least looks the part. It’s a slightly glossy fabric which does look good on the wearer, smoothing their shape and rendering them anonymous. Want that anonymous hostage look? The gimp aesthetic? It does look the part and it stops you identifying the wearer, it just doesn’t stop them seeing out.

Wearing the Spandex Full-Face Hood


The Fetish Fantasy Spandex Full-Face Hood really varies depending on what you want from it. I got it for the anonymising aspect, sure, but I really expected the blindfold aspect too, so I’m disappointed by it. I should not be getting a hood I can play video games through. Especially for nearly twenty quid.

If you want something that obscures a person’s face, it does that whilst being comfy and breathable for the wearer, so go get it. If you want something that restricts the wearer’s vision, look elsewhere, despite what it says on the box. ♦

Review – Love Bites Chenille Vampire Gloves

Love Bites Chenille Vampire Gloves

Disclaimer: I was provided with a free pair of Love Bites chenille vampire gloves by creator Phyllis Serene in return for my honest review. Click any picture to embiggen.

Love Bites vampire gloves, created by Phyllis Serene, appear at first to be ordinary chenille gloves. However, on closer inspection the underside of the gloves are covered in tiny, spiky, metal protrusions on the palm and fingers.

Love Bites chenille vampire gloves InteriorThey are actually constructed using brass-coloured studs, each with four spikes, pressed into the fabric of the glove from the inside and then carefully glued into place.

You can feel these stud backs when wearing the gloves, which may be annoying for some, but neither I or Crush actually minded that at all.

They also easily and comfortably fit both me (a girl with quite small hands, so I’m constantly told) and Crush (a guy with very long hands).

Love Bites chenille vampire gloves Fit

Top: My hand. Bottom: Crush’s hands.

So, appearance-wise my Love Bites are a pair of black chenille gloves with spikes you won’t necessarily notice at first glance. I honestly have not touched chenille since I was about 14 and it seriously brings back childhood memories. I remember brightly-coloured chenille jumpers really being the rage for about a year. I had two chunky blue ones.

It was, now that I think back, pretty terrible. But this is a more subtle colour (plus, not a jumper) and the fabric choice is actually great for sensation play. More on that later. For those who don’t get on with chenille, Love Bites vampire gloves also come in “basic knit”, “fuzzy yarn knit”, velour and lace.

The vampire gloves also feature an adorable heart button near the cuff. Despite this, I’d say the gloves are fairly unisex (and also if you’re put off by them not being manly or girly enough for you, I think you’re probably an idiot anyway). Personally I think they are a bit less sexy and fashionable than leather vampire gloves, but that doesn’t really rate as an issue for me. They’re definitely discreet and pretty inoffensive in look.

Speaking of inoffensive, Love Bites are also completely suitable for vegans, unlike leather vampire gloves. I’m not a vegan, but I know vegan-friendly kink can be difficult, so it’s lucky these exist!

Love Bites chenille vampire gloves Label

The Love Bites came with a label attached and in a sealed clear plastic bag. The label serves to market the toy, but also comes with a lot of useful information. The back contains care instructions, the type and price, some key info and a link for further details.

I’ve wanted to own my very own vampire gloves for quite some time now as they look amazing.

I’ve seen and handled leather vampire gloves (such as those by KinkLab) before, but they’ve always put me off for two reasons: one, they’re difficult to clean and, two, they’re very pricey. These are gloves that get swished around hot skin a lot, you’re going to want to clean them easily and well. But Love Bites can be easily hand-washed or even put into the washing machine (inside out to avoid destroying other items) on cold and left to air dry (heat will destroy the glue).

More importantly, the chenille version are also only $22 a pair (around £14.50, with about £6.50 shipping to the UK), which is much, much cheaper than the harder-to-care-for leather gloves made by big companies (KinkLab’s are from £35). And you’re supporting a great little company and business woman making these by hand. If you want something even lower in price, the basic knit version is $2 cheaper than the chenille.

In yet another triumph over leather vampire gloves, Love Bites have vampire spikes on both the fingers and the palm, unlike the measly KinkLab gloves which cover just the fingers. I mean, really. All that money for a few pesky finger points? Seriously? The Love Bites chenille vampire gloves are much more generous with their (cheaper) bitey, spiky goodness.

Love Bites chenille vampire gloves Spikes


Love Bites chenille vampire gloves are a fantastic pair of vampire gloves with a variety of both kinky and not-so-kinky uses. The spiky side can be used sensuously for sensation play, a light tickling of the spikes is lovely and teasing, or more roughly for tapping, scratching, spanking and a bit of welcome pain. The unspiked chenille side is fantastically soft and sensuous in itself and feels great alternated with the spikes, used to wake up the nerves of the skin before bringing in the vampire side or used as a spanking cool-down. The fact that you can alternate sides as you wish makes the gloves very versatile and it’s great fun to switch from furry to grr-y play.

The spiked studs themselves are pretty sharp and pointy if you press down on them with your thumb, for example, but with them evenly placed all over the surface of the vampire glove, the pressure is easily spread so that you actually have to try very hard to break the skin. In fact, we only really managed to break any skin and draw the mildest amount of blood by having Crush spank my arse nearly as hard as he could with them. Which, incidentally, quite hurt! I definitely recommend Love Bites for adding something a bit different and intense to your spanking sessions.

But worry not, with light play, it’s very likely that you won’t leave any marks at all. At worst, you could come away with  the red lines you can get from scratching hard with sharp fingernails and those should soon fade. Indeed, you really can scratch and scrape the skin quite happily with these vampire gloves, as well as being softer and brushing or tickling or caressing.

Love Bites feel absolutely amazing in use. My particular favourite areas to have “vamped” are the base of my neck and the small of my back, which, when stroked with the Love Bites, produce the most wonderful, unique fizzing and tingling sensations. They are glorious and hard to describe, but they make me wriggle and giggle and purr like a kitten. Other fantastic areas for these are the bum cheeks, other parts of my back and shoulders, the breasts (take care around the sensitive nipples, for good or ill), arms and thighs. With sensations from outright pain to soft tingle, there’s bound to be something you’ll like.

They also really, really work on completely obliterating any pesky itches you many have. Seriously. They destroy them. In my eyes, that makes them a damn utility item!

For the wielder (yes), we both found the Love Bites vampire gloves fairly easy to put on and take off, comfy to wear and easy to use. Sometimes the difference between “just right” and “too much” is subtle, so you do have to be quite careful and precise unless you have a resilient victim, but precision movements are surprisingly possible and the feedback pressure is great. They’re not an “advanced” bit of kit.

Vegan Vampire Gloves with a Bite


Love Bites chenille vampire gloves are, to come to a point (heh), wonderful. They’re cheaper, easier to clean, easier to fit, more vegan-friendly, softer, fluffier and yet still far, far more spiky than the usual leather KinkLab vampire gloves. They have spikes on both the fingers and the palm of each glove and each of the spikes is lovely and pointy and scratchy.

They look and feel good both to wear and be subjected to; never mind the nostalgia value of the chenille for me, it’s a great fabric for sensation and textured soft strokes to complement the spikes. The Love Bites’ spikes can give sensation ranging from tickling and tingling up to pain and some breaking of the skin, but you have to be quite purposeful to achieve the latter, so it’s a very safe toy. All in all, I highly recommend the chenille Love Bites vampire gloves, so go buy yours! ♦

Collar Me

♦ There’s something about a collar. Restraint and ownership delicately balanced with a fizzing freedom. An intimate act displayed in public. Leather wrapped around your neck can bring feelings of danger and security all at once.

I’d wanted a collar for a long time. Now I own several. A black PVC one, a plain black leather one, a red rubber one, a black rubber one with a blue gem, two black leather ones with poppers that say SLUT and BAD KITTY respectively. But I’ve never really had anything that I consider “my collar”. I don’t want to be literally labelled “slut or “bad kitty” all the time, the plain one is the one I use on the men in my life and the other three are too impractical for most occasions.

I wanted something to be My Collar. Something high-quality, something beautiful.

Monochrome Leather Collar

Then I encountered Leather Delights at a kink fair. I ummed and ahhed over exactly which of their many, many gorgeous collars I wanted. Not too thin, not too thick, not too plain but not too over-the-top. Soon I was holding an incredibly sexy 1.5″ wide collar with a soft black lining and a lovely white outside.

It smelt intoxicatingly of leather. It was comfortable and fit well and, importantly, I loved the way it looked. White is by no means the usual choice for collar colour and it suited me.

But of course it did. Everything about it is searingly beautiful, don’t you think? ♦

Toy with me Tuesday

Why not see more of my erotic, nude and sex toy photography?

“Objectification” by Blacksilk

So, if you’ve read my latest blog post, the first one ever written by my beautiful partner Crush (and if you haven’t, do, this will make slightly more sense), you’ll have realised that I found myself entering a singularly unusual sexy situation just the other evening. I came home and up the stairs to Crush’s room, opening the door to a strange, but undoubtedly erotic, sight. Sprawled on the bed was Crush, strapped by his ankles and wrists to the under-the-bed restraints, wearing his sexy green shirt open to reveal his chest. He was wearing his jeans, but they were pushed down to his knees. He was bare from his knees right up to his neck.

But I didn’t get to see everything. Oh, no. His head was covered by what turned out to be a cider box, it’s side covered in white paper on which was drawn a head with a question mark for a face. Covering his cock was a homemade cardboard “Censored” bar that obscured what I assumed was his erection. A new vase of flowers stood on the chest of drawers and four red ones had been plucked from it and draped across his legs artfully. The computer screen showed a fantastic, and sarcastic, mini-essay about gender and objectification. Crush’s words explain this whole set-up best.

Nonetheless, a picture does speak a thousand words…

Objectified Crush

I was… well, flabbergasted. I’m not often lost for words of any kind. This left me speechless in surprise, shock… I was assailed by both the fact that Crush had planned something elaborate and thoughtful for me but also by the absolute absurdity and weirdness of the situation. I flailed helplessly for a moment before Crush drew my attention to my camera sat on his desk. I knew I had to take advantage of the situation. I stripped off my clothes and spent a few minutes restraining myself from touching him, taking photos of his beautiful body and his strange… art installation? I knew that once we really got started, none of this would go back the way it was.

Putting the camera down, I removed the flowers from Crush’s legs and put all but one of them back in the vase. I sat down next to him on the bed, naked, and began to run the petals of the flower head over his exposed skin. I trailed the flower over his chest, his arms, his thighs, then excruciatingly slowly up the length of his cock from base to tip. He sighed and I took to varying the sensations over his body: the edge of the petals, the face of the flower, the tip of the stalk. Each of them trailed over his flesh and teased his nerve endings. He couldn’t see except for a crack at the base of his head-box, which helped magnify the strange sensations.

I was peppering my exploration of his body with frequent spluttering cries of “You are actually mad, you know that?”, “I love you!” and “What on Earth possessed you?”. He explained a bit more of his thinking behind it all and mentioned in passing that the particular feminist he’d been reading had said something along the lines of that it was possible for women to objectify men but that it meant that they were basically really men and vice versa. My gender-bending kink pricked its ears up at this point.

“So, that means I’m a guy….” I said.

I know that genderfuck doesn’t really do it for Crush and that he still finds the whole idea a bit out of his comfort zone, but I was pleased to hear him reply so positively. Then he said a word that sent an honest-to-God jolt through my pussy and up into my brain.

“Master,” he called me.

I couldn’t even tell you why that did it for me or why that thought still does it for me. It’s something I feel rather than think. I like to analyse my kinks, of course, because it’s interesting; I’m just not very good at it.

Nonetheless, the word “Master” coursed through my body in a way it never has when I’ve said it in submission to a man. It was true arousal, devoid of thought, a direct line to my body. I grinned and he said it again. The rest of the evening, in fact, was spattered with it.

I removed his homemade “Censored” bar and took him in my mouth. I might have been nominally in control, Crush might have been wanting me to take the lead, but I still wanted to give him pleasure. That and the fact that he’d done this all for me, the fact that chemistry was powering my mostly-a-sub body more than intellect or emotion, meant that I was finding it hard to be anything other than pliant and grateful. But I love to suck him. His cock tastes beautiful, feels wonderful in my mouth and smells so good to me. His come, I’ll be honest, I can take or leave. But his cock…

Not too long in, I had a better idea. Sucking Crush’s cock was fun, but I wanted to tease and torture him at the same time. I straddled his chest facing his feet, took my beloved Tango vibrator from the bedside and placed it, buzzing, between my pussy lips. It nestled helpfully between my body and his, pinned by his taut chest and my folds, as I leant forward to suck him again.

It wasn’t the easiest of positions, let me tell you. I was awkwardly placed to keep hold of his cock as I needed my hands to prop my body up on all fours. When I shifted position, the Tango would sometimes move about and once made a beeline up Crush’s chest to rumble by his collarbone. But it was worth it when I moaned hard around his cock and came, shuddering, on top of him, my pussy mere inches from his obscured face.

I wanted him inside me and he readily agreed. He suggested I stay facing his feet and give reverse cowgirl a go, something we’ve never tried before. Again, it turned out not to be the easiest task, but to be worth it. I falteringly guided him inside me as I straddled him around the hips and called him my bitch. My slut. He called me his Master.

Objectification Head Box

He could still peek out of the bottom of his box and I wondered briefly what the view, if really any, was like for him. It was a much more awkward position for me and for the ease of thrusting/riding than the usual girl-on-top, but the novelty (and the vibrator I held to my clit) made up for that. Adventure, after all, is exciting. Trying something new together, whether a resounding success or just a new sensation, is a wonderful experience. Whilst it’s not a position we’ll go back to regularly, the discovery was wonderful.

I dismounted and turned to face him, adding some lube to his cock for an effortless re-entry. This time, I’d go for “normal” cowgirl. It was just too hard to let go and come when I was in the other, more awkward, position. When it suited me, I pulled the cardboard box from his head, leaving him blinking up at me in the bright light of the bedroom. I know he loves to see me anew after being deprived. He started to up the frequency of his dirty comments to me and I lapped them up, asking for more, more, more. I bounced on his cock and he thrust up into me, making himself mine with every one of his utterances, giving himself to me with his body. Before long I was asking from one phrase and one phrase only, on repeat, as I climbed towards my summit.

“Please come, Master.”

He begged, he pleaded with those words. I shook, the Tango still at my clit, the sweat coating my skin, my knees weak with exertion. And I came. I came perhaps as hard as I’ve ever come. I talk big sometimes with metaphors and similes and rhetoric, I write my orgasms as storms and bullies and destruction. This was cataclysm. When it finished, I could barely speak, barely move, barely think. My body could support myself no longer and I let myself tumble sideways from Crush’s body. I fumbled, dumb, a zombie, at his nearest wrist strap, releasing him from his bonds and told him to fuck me again. I demanded that he take me as I recovered on my back.

And he did. His cock slid inside my honestly quite battered pussy, my pleasure-weakened body. This fuck was for him. His time to come. I told him as much and he certainly didn’t hold back. His Master spoke firmly to her little slut, goading him, urging him on until he too came hard, gasping, panting.

He collapsed onto me and we athletes rested our tired, hot, sticky bodies in each others’ arms. And I’ll tell you something: as they say “I don’t know much about art, but I know what I like.”

And Crush’s exhibition was certainly a resounding, earth-shattering, love-tempering success. ♦

“Objectification” by Crush

This post marks the first (but hopefully not last) instance of Crush, my gorgeous boyfriend, writing on my blog! Hooray! He explains the set-up that lead to a noteworthy encounter between us recently. And now, over to him…

♦ So where to start this story, I guess I should start with Monday, where Blacksilk and I were talking. She’d just finished her glass-to-arse session and we’d done all that mundane life stuff, so were getting an early night. Blacksilk, not for the first time, raised the topic of my penis and how the online world was sorely lacking in its finery, having already got the rest of me. Sorry to disappoint all my fans out there, but you’ll have to wait a bit longer. :P

But the conversation had given me an idea, Blacksilk is occasionally keen to take photos, but due to my insistence on cock-less shots they require framing or editing or, I dunno, I’m not a camera-wielder, some magic along those lines. Clearly what is needed is a censor bar, like the one Blacksilk has on her Twitter pic and presumably elsewhere where nipples are frowned upon (weird mental image there1 ). But not just any censor bar, a shadow censor bar, um, I mean, a real-life one.

I’d initially planned to do this for Tuesday, but then remembered that I was supposed to be cooking food for the rest of our house, and that may be hard to do appropriately without clothes on (Alt has declared on many an occasion that he is most definitely not attracted to me, and the rest of our housemates would be similarly unkeen). Plus, a day’s a bit short notice.

Okay, so, I hadn’t really got a plan formed at this point, so Tuesday involved thinking up an idea, by the end of which I’d narrowed it down to: find a box, sellotape some card or use a bin liner somehow… A quick check with Red confirmed my belief that two of these three plans, combined with hair, would be painful, so a box it was. I initially planned to use a kitchen roll tube somehow, but then Wednesday morning I realised a much better plan, using a cling film (that’s plastic wrap for our overseas friends) box. I also thought, hey, while I’m obscuring the photo, why not get a box on my head or some such.

Of course, once you’re putting a box on someone’s head, it’s only a tiny jump to objectification, because that’s a thing. From my devastatingly large sample size I get the feeling that this and many other forms of objectification are, shall we say, a little more called out when it’s women as the victim than men, so I thought I could make some sort of statement about it, because political statements and sex are a good combination. Bah, whatever.

So Wednesday I went and got some black card, cut up some stuff, did a bit of gluing and came up with:


Truly I am a master of basic craft skills.

I had initially thought of putting something like “objectify this man” on the box, but then decided to go with the classic question mark in a silhouette style thing. Obviously this meant that there was nowhere to put the description of the idea, so I thought “Hey, maybe I could make it like an art piece”. I did some research, well, not really, just a bit of reading on the Internet, but that’s close enough, and came up with the following (warning: the following may contain the view that extreme feminists are mental cases):

Objectified Man?

To complete the plan I also got some really expensive flowers. They were like £3. And they say chivalry is dead. Blacksilk called me after she got out of work (as is the norm, because we’re soppy romantics or something) and I subtly worked out what time she was getting home, by asking her for it (thanks, Equilibrium).

So, how to sort out a good art exhibit, well, firstly, a few clothes, not really covering much, more as a decorative piece, jeans around ankles, shirt fully undone, censored bar in place. Place some flowers for emphasis… Oh, and cuffs of course, ankles are easy, but then I had to fiddle a bit to cuff one wrist and then slip into the cuff of the other wrist, but fortunately I had a bit of time spare. I also had a hole in the side of the box, so I could see what time it was and check my screen-saver didn’t do something stupid.

So Blacksilk got home and came upstairs to say hi, upon entering the room she, well, I guess that’s a story best told by her in another blog post. ;) ♦

A round of applause for Crush, everyone! I hope you’re all excited to see him writing for a sex blog for the first time, do please be gentle with him. And tell him/us what you think! Wasn’t he fantastic? Don’t forget to read the follow-up!

  1. *I’m kinda imagining that bit in Gangnam Style, but with a frown rather than a weird shout and boobs instead of bum. []

Wax Dummy

♦ Just a few weeks back, I did a review of basically some blimmin’ ordinary candles, otherwise known as the Fetish Fantasy Sensual Hot Wax kit. They were, for all intents and purposes, just ordinary candles. But it did mean I got a nice excuse to play with some wax for once.

We don’t do wax play often, I admit. It’s a bit of effort to protect the sheets and so forth and to clean up afterwards. We can be lazy. So this was a nice treat.

Crush soon became quite expert at guiding the drip, drip, drip of the melting candle to the sweet spots of my waiting skin. I love the feel of it. The hot, wet splat that quickly cools opaque and starts to form a layer with a passing resemblance to something chitinous and alien. The fleeting pain turned to a gentle warmth. The dancing flame.

Wax Dummy BDSM

He targeted thighs and arms and stomach and breasts. I gasped. I wriggled. I gloried at heat turned to heaven on my skin. Hours after scraping and plucking all that off, I took matters into my own hands.

Drip, drip, drip.

And above is what I created. Glob upon glob of wax, splat upon splat of delight. Rivulets of heated candle running down the curve of my flesh and cooling into ridges and ravines. An arm that looks exotic and ugly and beautiful. A snowscape. A wax dummy. ♦


Review – Fetish Fantasy Sensual Hot Wax

Fetish Fantasy Sensual Hot Wax candles

Disclaimer: I was provided with a free Fetish Fantasy Sensual Hot Wax by Temptations Direct in exchange for my honest review. Click any image to embiggen.

♦ The Fetish Fantasy Sensual Hot Wax kit is a wax play kit in Pipedream’s Fetish Fantasy line, sold by Temptations Direct. I foresee this review being a short one. Why? It’s four candles (wait for it). In a box. With, oh horror of horrors, a “Free Mask”. There’s just not an awful lot to say, but I’ll soldier on.

FF Sensual Hot Wax Packaging

The packaging is, like the Fetish Fantasy Shock Therapy Kit, very much the usual Fetish Fantasy packaging for their range of bondage gear and equipment. The box is not classy, not subtle, not even sexy, but certainly better than the last one for sheer tackiness. This box is just mildly tacky, rather than Sovereign Glue. It’s certainly sturdy enough to keep the Sensual Hot Wax candles in until you’ve used them all up.

Contents-wise, the product is very simple: the candles and a Fetish Fantasy Free Mask. I talked about their Free Masks in my very last review (above) and I remain nothing but scathing about them. Every time I review a Fetish Fantasy product that comes with a Free Mask, I will point out how awful it is until one unlikely day, they stop. Just listen to how crinkly it is!

Oh, and also about an inch and a half of the stitching on the “lining” was missing before I even started. Ugh.

Onto the Fetish Fantasy Sensual Hot Wax kit candles themselves. There are four of them. Four candles. Fork ‘andles. No, really, I am not making this up, guys. Screw the Free Mask, this kit comes with an evening’s worth of BDSM-based Two Ronnies comedy gold. If you have ever wanted your play to include more old-school punnage, this is for you.

Jokes aside, the candles are your usual sort of taper candle (though not actually that tapered) and are about five inches long and 0.75″ wide. They’re white and, as stated on the box, unscented. That’s about all it does state on the box, though. And I quote, “Material: Wax”. It’s almost like the manufacturers either don’t know or don’t care that there are actually different types of wax (paraffin, soy, beeswax, bayberry, etc.). That or they don’t expect you to care. But it’s actually pretty important because different types of wax burn at different temperatures and also because, hey, as Britain has learned lately, people like actually knowing what they’re getting.

I asked Temptations Direct if they had any idea what type of wax it was, but they couldn’t find out either. My best guess? I reckon it’s paraffin. In any case, it certainly melts very easily and burns down very quickly. We managed to use up about a quarter of a candle in about ten or 15 minutes. I’ve heard some people complain that the candles burn very hot, but I didn’t actually feel that was the case. They were hot, but not hotter than I’d come to expect from dripping, melting wax. I could easily hold the candle about a foot over my arms or legs and get quickly lower without any unpleasantness and I could have Crush hold the candle about a metre up and progressively get a little lower over the sensitive skin of my breasts. Do test your tolerances carefully, though.

Sensual Hot Wax in use

The wax was easy to remove (for wax, anyway) and didn’t leave my skin greasy. It felt great on the skin, too. Just hot enough to make me think twice, but never enough to burn. The sensation was erotic and exciting. It was, however, exactly the same sensation as when compared to some other candles that I already owned. These are some white tapers (likely also paraffin) that I picked up from my nearby bargain shop for minimal cost some time ago. And they look the same. And they feel the same.

So, while I’m telling you that the Fetish Fantasy Sensual Hot Wax kit candles felt good and burned well and cleaned up decently, what I’m also telling you is that my bog standard cheapie candles also did all of the above just as well. Sure, not every cheap candle you can buy is suitable for wax play, but lots of them are. And the only real difference between my cheapo candles and the Sensual Hot Wax candles? The porny box, the Free Mask and over five of your British pounds.

Yes, £7.47 (and that’s below the ridiculous £9.00 RRP) is a fucking lot for four candles. Four candles which seem no different from my candles that probably cost me no more than a couple of quid. And that’s what it comes down to, really. These candles are adequate if you’re not too fussed on getting high quality and they’re cheap except without actually being cheap. They’re fine. They’re OK. But, so long as you’re safe about it (and do be safe, read up on these things), why not just go and buy the exact same thing from somewhere without an Important Sounding Sex Name for about a quarter of the price?

They’ll probably even let you leave without thrusting a Free Mask into your hands. ♦

Why not read some more of my sex toy reviews?

Review – Fetish Fantasy Shock Therapy Kit

Fetish Fantasy Shock Therapy Kit

Disclaimer: I was provided with a free Fetish Fantasy Shock Therapy Kit by UberKinky in exchange for my honest review. Click any image to embiggen.

♦ The Fetish Fantasy Shock Therapy Kit is an electric stimulation (or e-stim) kit intended for beginners, which is sold by UberKinky. This device sends small shocks through your body to ease muscle pain and, for some people, provide sexual pleasure. I’d never tried one before and (aside from a violet wand which is a different sensation altogether) I’m also new to electro sex, so I had no idea if I’d be “some people”.

But it turns out that that is pretty much exactly one of the things this kit is great for: if you don’t know if you like electric stimulation, you can try it out with minimal potential wasted time and money. Electro sex can be an expensive kink and the Shock Therapy Kit costs just £29.99, so it’s a great way to try a new experience on the cheap and work out if you’d enjoy something a bit more “professional” later.

Shock Therapy Kit Packaging

The packaging is a sturdy box featuring typical Fetish Fantasy fare, i.e. the front shows another contender for the title of World’s Porniest Toy Package Woman. To be fair, I’m probably just jealous of her globular mammaries, her mulleted partner and the way her eye shadow matches her hair… In any case, a fairly convenient box, but super unsubtle and tacky.

Inside the box is a plastic insert containing the Shock Therapy Kit itself and – Oh, sweet, free mask! Friggin’ masks, Ishizu! Seriously, though, the mask is awful, please stop packaging all your stuff with awful (free!) masks. Anyway, the kit itself consists of very lightweight control unit, four adhesive pads, one bi-polar lead wire and the instruction manual.

Shock Therapy Kit Instructions

The instruction manual for the Shock Therapy kit is a bit of a joke. It covers information that should be obvious to anyone alive in this decade, such as the troubleshooting (make sure the wires are actually attached to things). Then, on the other hand, I feel like it’s missing a lot of information. For example, it has minimal safety advice and absolutely NO advice whatsoever on different places to attach the pads. I got a couple of unpleasant shocks from trying the pads in the wrong locations and it’s also very easy to accidentally zap yourself fairly shockingly in the fingers if you try to adjust or re-stick the pads during use. Considering that I feel most people who use this kit will have no experience with electro sex, the instructions could have done with being a more comprehensive guide. That said, if that’s the only thing stopping you from buying this kit, don’t panic, there’s a wealth of information easily available online about what and how to do.

The instruction manual explains the three main modes of the Shock Therapy Kit too (Tap, Modulation and Kneading) along with a brief explanation of what they do. Tap feels like the shock from touching a lightweight electric fence: a short throb of electricity that does feel a bit like a mini-thump on the body. Modulation feels like a mobile phone on vibrate and Kneading is about the same, but for longer periods with bigger gaps. But it completely fails to mention the fact that there are a good half dozen modes after this that correspond to where you’ve put the pads (so there’s a “knees” mode or an “arms” mode). These are pretty incomprehensible even in use.

The “easy-to-read” LCD screen that “clearly displays” information is also vague in parts. I understand the bars for speed and power, but some of the things it displays in the top middle of the screen don’t seem to match what it’s actually doing. It’s all a bit opaque.

Shock Therapy Kit Buttons and Screen

Onto the Shock Therapy device itself. There are four buttons: one turns the device ON and increases the settings, one turns the device OFF and decreases them, one is labelled “S/P” and switches what you are increasing or decreasing between speed (rapidity of pulses) and power (intensity of pulses) and one that cycles through the e-stim modes.

The control unit connects to the bi-polar wire via a jack and the wire then splits out into two Ys, each with a sort of popper on the end that attaches to one of the adhesive pads. These pads are covered in a plastic film to keep them sticky and protect them from dirt. Once you’ve removed those, you place each pad on the body. All four need to be attached for it to work.

The pads are very sticky indeed (but leave no residue). However, they quickly lose their stickiness, unless you’re very careful, under attack from oils, sweat, lint or dirt. (While we’re on that note, don’t lose the plastic film and don’t share your pads as they can’t be sanitised). Mine have gone from very sticky to kinda sticky in about half a dozen uses, but I’m not the most careful of owners. If you want yours to last a long time, be extra clean and extra careful. Oh, and possibly not so hairy? I fucked my pads up royally in terms of crap-levels with just the trimmed hair of my vulva. Smooth body parts work best.

Flat ones too. I couldn’t use it on my nipples (like the box shows) as the pads really need flat, even contact with the skin to conduct the electricity, so the Shock Therapy Kit wouldn’t even start. Too bumpy. I settled for a pad either side of my nipples, but that just shocked my breasts and left the nipples alone.

It did feel very nice, though, especially when coming, even if I couldn’t turn it up much past power two or three. Yup, it turns out that even though it runs on two AAA batteries, it has a hell of a kick. I’d offered to review the kit expecting it to be pretty pathetic with just that powering it, but I was seriously impressed. Not only was I impressed, but my kinkster housemate Alt was very impressed too and he’s tried a “real” electro sex kit, that is to say one that costs significantly more and doesn’t run off triple As. We both feel that, in terms of power, this kit will certainly satisfy all but the more experienced electro-experts.


The Fetish Fantasy Shock Therapy Kit is a troubled beast. On the one hand it’s a little confusing with its lack of information on suggested electrode locations, its sometimes confusing LCD and the fact that I often don’t quite know what it’s up to. I really think all of these problems could actually just be solved with a longer and more detailed instruction guide. On the other hand, it’s reasonably priced, simple to actually operate and attach and capable of delivering very strong electronic pulses and shocks. Not only that, but it’s dual use: the kit can be used sexually (I loved masturbating with it tingling my breasts), but also therapeutically (it felt lovely buzzing away on my tired shoulder and neck muscles).

I think that, poor instructions and level of detail aside, it’s a really great little kit. It’s cheap and powerful and probably the best way (besides knowing someone who’ll do you a demo) to get an entry level start in e-stimulation and electro sex. You can try it out for little money and effort and you’ll soon know if you like it or want something more involved, especially if you couple it with freely available information on the Net to make up for what the instructions don’t provide. So, if you’re curious about electro sex, I’d say give the Fetish Fantasy Shock Therapy Kit from UberKinky a whirl. ♦

Why not read some more of my sex toy reviews?

Fifth Bloggiversary Giveaway!

♦ Five years is a fair while, isn’t it? And since this blog started with my very first post on the 17th of November 2007 and it’s now the 17th of November 2012, that makes today my official fifth bloggiversary! Go me! Bang the party poppers, sound the trumpets and spank your nearest and dearest!

But this isn’t the time for a lengthy introspective retrospective. It’s time to thank you all for being here. Whether you’ve been with me all along and can remember the Fractal days, whether you came in at the shiny, back-with-gusto Crush era or whether your first visit was about a minute ago because you heard there might be prizes. It’s all good (though I’d love it if you stuck around).

So, to celebrate my fifth bloggiversary, there are prizes! (You were right!)

Three of the prizes in the giveaway are open to anyone and everyone, worldwide. Five of the prizes are open to the UK-only. Make sure you only enter the UK-only Rafflecopter (the second one) if you have a shipping address in the UK. If you win and you don’t, I will redraw and you’ll get bugger all. Entering under a pseudonym is fine as long as you can provide a real shipping address. Giveaway prizes will be shipped to you by the donor.


We-Vibe 3

The We-Vibe 3 couple’s vibrator, donated by yours truly! I won this toy a few months back in a competition, but it is UNUSED. Crush hates vibrations, so this toy is not for us. Since we’ve never used it and we will never use it, I’m donating it. After all, it costs a penny or two and I’ve heard good things about it, so it’d be sad for it to go to waste. Plus, purple.

Hungry for Love

A digital copy of Coming Together‘s zombie-themed erotic anthology Hungry for Love! Featuring my first ever published erotic fiction Last Man on Earth as well as 16 other stories by some incredibly talented authors. All are themed around zombies and all involve some awesome sexiness. Some even have both at once! With, y’know, zombie sex. And it works!

Tantus Splish

Tantus Splish silicone dildo, donated by Vibrator Kingdom! It’s Tantus, so you know it’s going to be awesome. They’re my favourite dildo-makers and I bloody love them. This is a harness-compatible silicone dildo that’s perfect for pegging, and impressively dual-toned. Look! So gorgeous!

a Rafflecopter giveaway


Icicles No. 8 The Icicles No. 8 glass dildo, donated by Innocent Sex Toys! As anyone who owns one will tell you, glass dildos are fantastic. And just look at this one: beautiful, iridescent, blue! It’s so pretty and even more so because you can warm it up, cool it down and sterilise it for sharing! LELO Gigi The LELO Gigi luxury G-spot vibrator, donated by Bondara! A quality toy by a quality brand. The LELO Gigi (in a pastel pink) is a silicone vibrator designed to pleasure your G-spot. Everything about a LELO toy is luxurious, so I’m delighted to give one away. A Rechargeable Passion Massager wand, donated by Passion8! Who doesn’t love a good wand vibrator? This one’s wireless and rechargeable with two speeds and a body-friendly silicone head. You could even go really crazy and actually use it as a massager! Or orgasms. Those are good. Black Hand PaddleA Black Hand Paddle in Leather, donated by UberKinky! This spanking toy has a studded handle and a thong for better grip and is made from real leather. Leather, by the by, smells amazing. It’s a flexible toy that delivers a mix of thud and sting, so should suit many tastes! We-Vibe TangoThe We Vibe Tango rechargeable bullet, donated by Strawberry Blushes! When people ask me what clitoral vibe they should get, what do I recommend without fail? The Tango. It is honest-to-goodness my favourite vibrator ever. It is strong, gloriously rumbly and perfectly shaped. I am trying not to gush too much but, trust me, you NEED one. Plus, also purple.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

And there’s your lot! Thank you SO much to all my giveaway prize donors and to you all for reading, sharing and entering this competition. Please help make it a success and hopefully win something to wank with! Any questions, please ask.

I look forward to drawing the winners on the 3rd of December (giveaway closes the day before, sorry to anyone who doesn’t understand times in EST, neither do I). Enjoy! ♦