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Purple Worm

♦ Gosh, it’s been a while since I’ve participated in Toy With Me Tuesday, hasn’t it? I love good pictures of good sex toys and I have plenty lying around that I’d love to post as well as ideas for several more in my head. But I have, you may be surprised to learn, a relaxed schedule for this blog and whilst that includes minimum posts per time (ideally one a week, one a fortnight as an absolute low if I can’t help it), it also includes maximum posts per time. Whilst I don’t have a set number for this, I start to feel a little spammy if I post more than 2-3 times a week. I know I don’t have the time to read blog posts that regularly, so why should I assume that others do?

So I don’t join in every week, or even every other week, with memes because there are so many that I like that I’d soon end up with posts on Tuesday, Wednesday and Sunday alone without even considering any of my posts that don’t fit into memes. And I certainly don’t want this blog to become just memes (not that there’s anything wrong with that). But I should start contributing more to them here and there, so here’s a little picture for TWMT.

Purple Wurm

I couldn’t call this anything other than “Purple Worm”. The Tantus Purr is almost segmented just like a worm, curves like a worm and its colour, Purple Haze, is undeniably in the lilac camp of Team Purple. Even the background is a purple glitter paradise and I love the contrast between the sharp, in focus glitter in the foreground and the blurry bokeh at the back.

Of course, as a massive geek, Purple Worm is a phrase that brings an entirely different image than this one to mind.

D&D Purple WormYes, rather than an incredibly good textured dildo that I for some reason compared to Rattata, the thing that leaps into my head (dear God, I hope not literally) is the 80 feet long, 40,000lb, entirely made-up Dungeons & Dragons monster. Does that seem like something I want to put near my vagina? Let me quote, “In battle, a purple worm forms into a coil 20 feet in diameter, biting and stinging anything within reach.” So… NOPE.

Luckily, while the D&D Purple Worm has an attack which swallows you whole, this purple worm is instead often subject to an attack that swallows it whole… Ladies. Dear God, why do they let me have a blog again? ♦

Toy with me Tuesday

The Dildo on the Wall

♦ Look what I found!

Dildo Graffiti

Yes, it seems some enterprising young things in my city have discovered the word “dildo”. What strange graffiti! I’m used to seeing tags and vaguely anarchist or anti-capitalist slogans alongside, of course, plenty of scribbles and pictures, but I don’t tend to see random words just dotted around. Unless someone’s tag is dildo..?

Anyway, the “artist” and I certainly share one thing in common: “dildo” is an awesome word. For an awesome thing! ♦

House of Eros Double wooden dildo

House of Eros Double Wooden Dildo

Disclaimer: I was provided with a free House of Eros Double wooden dildo by Sex Toys 123 in exchange for my honest review. Click pictures to embiggen.

♦ The House of Eros Double wooden dildo, sold by Sex Toys 123, is long, slim, handcrafted sex toy made by kinksters House of Eros. I was particularly excited to try my very first wooden dildo (after conquering plastic, silicone, glass, metal and ceramic) and to add another sex toy achievement to my imaginary list. House of Eros make six different shapes of wooden dildo, all made from the same wood in the same way. Mine is the Double, but you can also buy the TripleBalls, Egg, Pointed Egg and Two of Spades.

House of Eros Double packagingThe packaging  is very basic. It comes in a bag that is a sort of clear plastic sleeve with stapled on cardboard branding on the top. You have to tear the packaging to get into it, but you may find it still works fine for storage if you tear/cut it sensibly.

Inside the bag is the dildo itself along with an A4 piece of paper that serves as the manual for the toy. It contains a little bit of backstory on the art of wooden dildos, information on the process of making the toy and the finish used (even if the information is only the name and “take a look at Wikipedia online”), as well as care instructions.


The first question most of you are thinking of involves splinters; don’t panic. Reputable makers of wooden sex toys (and, let’s face it, disreputable makers of any sex toys are going to give you a bad time) take great care in shaping, sanding, burnishing and polishing their dildos to make sure that there are absolutely no rough surfaces or chances of splinters. Depending on the quality of your toy and its finish, you may find it begin to roughen over time, so buy responsibly and make sure to examine your dildo before use for any imperfections. Try not to drop the wooden toy on hard surfaces, as it may chip.

Wooden toys, again from reputable companies, are non-porous thanks to their sealant. These sealants and polishes are chosen to be body safe and hypoallergenic, though you may want to check particulars before buying. To be extra careful, it’s best not to boil or dishwasher wooden toys. Instead, wipe down your item with water and anti-bacterial soap. Wood should last a lifetime if it is treated well (no cleaning it with a scourer!).

Lastly, be careful with yourself. Wood, while not as heavy as glass and metal, is a very hard material. Wooden toys do not flex or give. It would be relatively easy to get a bit overly keen and bruise yourself, but on the up side, this unforgiving material makes for some very intense sensations, especially if you like to apply pressure.


In terms of size, the House of Eros Double is rather slim and very long.

House of Eros Double sizeIt measures a good 12″ long, in fact, with around 9″ intended to be insertable. The widest points of the main bulbs come at around 1″ and 4.5″ from the tip, with another flare at 9″ at the start of the handle (though there’s no reason you’d have to stop there). The two upper bulbs are 1.4″ diameter, while the bulb intended to begin the handle is 1.6″. The main shaft is narrower at about 0.9″, with the handle widening to 1.1″. The handle ends bluntly at 1.5″ across, while the inserting end forms a rounded point.

The House of Eros Double wooden dildo is a beautiful looking dildo. There’s no mistaking it. Each dildo is handmade from sapele wood, which may mean variations in exact shape, grain and colour, but I think it’s safe to say that all of them will be gorgeous. The picture on the Sex Toys 123 website is a lovely pale pine-like colour, while mine is a more caramel light-mahogany shade. When you first get out of the bag, it is wonderfully glossy and polished. The shape is elegant and smooth, the feel of it in your hand is wonderful. You’re looking at a toy that is very ergonomically and aesthetically pleasing.

Speaking of pleasing, environmentally pleasing is not normally one of the aspects I consider in my reviews, but is something I feel may definitely be appropriate when talking about wooden toys. Obviously, dildos already have the edge on battery or power hungry vibrators, but wood is also a great material in that it is renewable, recyclable and biodegradable, thus leaving a lot less of an impact on the planet. The plastic packaging doesn’t quite stand up to this, so it’s not perfect, but it may be more eco-friendly than many plastic or even silicone toys.

In terms of whether the wood itself is good and green (compared to other woods), it’s all good news. According to the Good Wood Guide (the things I do for sex toys), sapele wood is often connected to illegal and destructive logging, so to be eco-friendly it should be certified to come from plantations or other forest-friendly sources. House of Eros have assured me that all their wood comes from certified supplies.

The coating on the House of Eros Double wooden dildo is listed on the info sheet as carnauba wax (and erroneously on Sex Toys 123 as “carbona” wax), which is a hypoallergenic and body safe wax often used to coat pills, pipes, cars and sweets. It’s certainly safe to be ingested or inserted, but I found it also very easy to damage. After one normal masturbation session with the House of Eros Double, my dildo was no longer super glossy, but largely very dull with mottled patches of shininess where it presumably hadn’t yet come off.

Here’s the House of Eros Double before first use:

House of Eros Double shiny

And here’s the dildo again after being used:

House of Eros Double dull

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that those photos hardly look striking, but it’s actually incredibly hard to capture on camera. It’s definitely duller than it was, though, I’ve had second opinions in case I’m going mad. Plus, you can still see (although I’ve not been able to get it to photograph!) the areas where it retains is lustre compared to the newer spots where… the wax has worn away? Been abraded? All this from being in my vagina, which is kinda where I expect my dildos to go. The info sheet makes mention of “preserving the shine” with pure beeswax polish or olive oil, but I’m ultimately not particularly happy with a product that drastically loses its shine and smoothness by doing what its designed to do!

Indeed, its perhaps the case that House of Eros themselves feel the same way, as they’re discontinuing this line of dildos shortly to replace them with acrylic coated ones, so keep your ears open for those.

In any case, onto how the toy feels in use. Well, just marvellous, actually! I often feel that downsides, like the shininess issue, irk me even more when the toy is otherwise really good and I feel the same here. The House of Eros Double wooden dildo feels really, really good. The length of it makes it easy to use as there’s lots to grab old of, while the narrowness (combined with the generally smooth, dragless material) makes the House of Eros Double very easy to insert. Lube may not even be required or preferred.

The House of Eros Double is hard and unyielding, meaning I don’t need to thrust like mad and meaning that its very easy to exert pressure where and how I want. Squish has its place, don’t get me wrong, but I love that in a toy.

The two bulbs work together to stimulate you. Either I’m probing the depths of my vagina with the first bulb hitting my A-spot and the second bulb stimulating my entrance or I can use it more shallowly and use the first bulb, or the head I suppose, on my G-spot and front vaginal walls. In fact that’s really where this wooden dildo shines. It’s not curved, but it doesn’t have to be. I can set it right in the right place for my G-spot and then only the slightest of movements back and forth will create delicious pressure and intensity and soon I’m coming hard. It’s really the bulbs and the rigidity, in fact, that make the toy.

House of Eros Double tipCONCLUSION

The House of Eros Double wooden dildo is a beauty, but a flawed one. Really, the only issue I could possibly have with it is the issue of the coating dulling or even becoming removed, of the toy losing its glossiness and some of its smoothness, but that issue for me is large enough that I can’t outright and wholeheartedly recommend this toy. Not without provisos.

Essentially, it’s a toy that is wonderfully inflexible and hard, without being as heavy and cumbersome as metal or glass. It won’t respond to temperature changes as easily either, which some may prefer. It’s long, making it easy to hold. It’s slim, making it easy to insert. And yet, it’s not disappointing or unfulfilling. It doesn’t need girth to do its job, because it has those wondeful bulbs to do it instead. The head is fantastic at stimulating my G-spot and making me orgasm with very, very little effort. I can thrust with it too, if I want.

Not only that, but it’s environmentally sound. No batteries, no power, no plastics. Recyclable, renewable, ethically sourced, handmade and biodegradable. A real eco-toy.

And it’s beautiful. Smooth, shapely, it feels good in my hands, better in my orifices. It has a naturalness, an earthiness, a beauty not made of “feminine tones” or sparkles or fanciness. It’s just that that beauty dulls. The carnauba wax is not up to keeping shiny when exposed to that most common of dildonic adversaries: the vagina. Is it safe? Well, the wax itself is body safe, but what about the dildo when that wax has faded and rubbed away? How do I know the sealant won’t do the same and turn my toy into bacteria heaven? I suppose I can’t. Which is why I’m likely to research further into this (I’ll report any results) and for now use a condom with it. And that’s just a damn shame. Because what’s the point of having a wooden dildo if I can’t feel that lovely wood up against my skin? Goddamn it, I want to fuck a tree.

So, if you want a rigid toy made of something more unusual and more green than plastic and glass and you don’t mind the coating issue, give the House of Eros Double wooden dildo a go by picking it up from Sex Toys 123. If that all appeals but you can’t get over the coating, look elsewhere for your wooden dildo. Maybe I’ll get sent one that I can compare! ♦

Review – Tantus Cush O2 Dildo

Tantus Cush O2

Disclaimer: I was provided with a free Tantus Cush O2 by Tantus in exchange for my honest review. Click pictures to embiggen.

♦ The Cush O2 by Tantus is a large dildo made from Tantus’ O2 silicone, meaning it features dual densities of silicone. The supersoft white silicone forms a squishy layer over the firm density blue (in my case, as I have the Ice colour option, rather than purple Twilight or pink candy), providing varying sensations, especially around this toy’s prominent second ridge.

Tantus Cush PackagingThe packaging is the standard Tantus fare: lovely and eye-catching to look at, simple, non-tacky yet also not overly discreet (what with being see-through). It sadly doesn’t always hold up well to being used for storage and may split. I tend to keep my Tantus dildos in storage bags as they pick up dust and lint very easily. Don’t worry about storing them together, they’re super-safe.

As I say, you can get your Tantus Cush O2 in one of three colours, but I absolutely love my Ice one. It’s a gorgeous, ethereal blue and white combination that looks a little like liquid nitrogen over a deep pond. The effect is thanks to the aforementioned O2 dual-layer silicone: where the top layer is thinner, such as just below the toy’s second ridge, the blue comes through more. It really does look icy.

Tantus Cush SizeIt also has an interesting look in terms of shape: somewhere between realism (with the head of the dildo) and non-representational (the simple shape and added ridge). Size-wise, the Tantus Cush O2 is very long and girthy, certainly one for the Size Lovers.

The Tantus Cush O2 is just under 8″ long with just over 7″ insertable, 1.8″ diameter on the shaft and around 1.9″ on the widest part of the (admittedly squishy) head.

I certainly needed a warm up on every occasion (and yet I didn’t always with the Tantus Max O2, which is actually bigger. Is it the Cush or am I losing my touch? I’ve decided it’s probably neither but very well might be the effects of stress on my body). I also needed a healthy dollop of lubricant. On the first few times I tried it, it felt uncomfortable even with other toys beforehand, but I think that’s down to me not quite getting myself in the mood as much as I should have. Recently I’ve given it a go and, in a better mood and having got used to the toy, it’s felt wonderfully comfortable very quickly and stayed that way even after I’m done. No soreness, no “I’ve pushed myself a bit far”.

Coupled with its size, it’s also a very firm dildo in terms of flexibility, with very little give. It stands up dead straight on its base with no support. You can bend it, but it takes two hands and a fair bit of effort.

What helps with the size and relatively unbending nature of the Tantus Cush is that it’s O2 silicone: it’s got a hard core but a gloriously squishy outer layer. OK, so the matte texture gives it a fair bit of drag, but the squishiness more than compensates for any problems that might cause. In the case of the Cush, the dildo gets squishier the nearer the bulbous tip it gets. In fact, I’d say at least the top inch is all squish (which serves to make insertion easier than it otherwise would be) and is therefore much gentler than its rather pointy shape would suggest.

Tantus Cush Tip

The only places where you may find the shape a little troublesome are the ridges. Or in all likeliness, like me, you might find them incredibly stimulating instead! The Tantus Cush O2 has two ridges, one where you might expect at the base of the head (the corona) and one pronounced one that starts about three inches from the base of the shaft on the top. Neither of these ridges affect the bottom side of the shaft, which is very smooth.

Tantus Cush RidgeThese two ridges really stimulate the front vaginal wall and can even pleasure the G-spot (not everything has to be curved to hit it!). They do for mine. Since both the ridges are made from the supersoft material, they’re much more forgiving than they look and make you feel wonderful rather than catching horribly.

In fact, the Tantus Cush O2 is so good at stimulating me, I found I only really needed very small movements to feel absolutely amazing. It was very easy to come. and you don’t need to pound away, which is probably good considering the size.


The Tantus Cush O2 is a fantastic toy from a fantastic company that makes fantastic products. There is really only about one thing I could think of that could make it unsuitable for someone and that is the size. It’s big. It’s not for everyone. If you can’t see yourself coping with a girthy toy like this, try something else Tantus makes. The Tantus Flurry O2, for example, is the same length, material and colour range and features two ridges, but is only 1.5″ in diameter.

If you can see yourself working up to this girth, or you’re already a full-on Size Lover, then I think you’ll love this toy. It’s got all the usual Tantus qualities of being absolutely body-safe, sterilisable, non-porous and made of 100% high-quality platinum O2 silicone. It’s anal-safe, if you’re bold, and harness-compatible thanks to its flared base. It’s big and firm, but with a lovely layer of squish on top. And, most of all, it has those two fantastic ridges, particularly the second one, which rub the front walls of your vagina and stimulate your G-spot (or at least mine) with the slightest effort.

What’s more, it’s beautiful, too. So I’d suggest you rush out (well, online) right now and buy the Cush O2 from the lovely guys at Tantus. You deserve it. ♦

To The Max

♦ Well, it’s been a hot, hot day, so what better way to cool off than to get wet? My Tantus Max O2 (which I reviewed here) certainly seems to be getting the treatment. I wish I was able to just jump into something cold and refreshing like that! Phew!

Wet Black Tantus Max O2

I think the Max looks gorgeous with the black and white effect and the casual droplets of water splashed onto it. I love this dildo, a favourite of mine from the always-excellent Tantus, though I admit it’s not necessarily an everyday kinda toy! But it’s so satisfying and the size really makes for a nice change and an intense sensation. Om nom nom.

Anyway, I hope you like the picture! What you would you choose to cool off with in this glorious weather? ♦

Toy with me Tuesday


♦ Jitterbug is a manic, tumbling, ragtag little poem I wrote in about four minutes while hyped up on coffee. I hope you like it and its weird little structure. I do. Apparently, it doesn’t take much to get me playing with frantic and oddly placed rhymes. I’d only had two cups. It’s inspired by a quote from Gore Vidal. ♦

Sex is a continuum, a spectrum
A plectrum
That plucks my strings
As I fuck with things and girls and boys and toys
While I scream and shout
Call their names out
Out of my head on love and other drugs
And coming alive as I rise through the fug
Of everyday thoughts and everyday bull
Explodes into sparks colourful
Full of his cock, her fingers, hir words in my head
A dildo retracting, spilling cum on my bed
The dread of returning to the mundane
My brain filling
With vapour and bliss
How could there be something greater than this?

Wicked Wednesday

Tools of the Trade

♦ Today, Crush and I had a lot of fun. I’m not going to go into a lot of details, I think I might leave those to your imagination. But what I will show you this Sinful Sunday are the tools of the trade I used to inflict such deliciousness on both him and myself. The black handcuffs (very similar to these) were there to restrain him, the key to set him free. The ceramic dildo, the Lovemoiselle Aveline which you can see covered in my slickness here, was used on myself to great effect. It’s such a fantastic dildo and I’m always impressed at the sheer speed with which it gets me off. I teased Crush by using it on myself while all he could do was lie there tied up and pawing at my nipples.

Tools of the Trade: handcuffs and ceramic dildo

I used the Tantus C-ring cock ring (in gorgeous cherry) over his cock, more to pull him about than to really keep him hard and begging as he was already very good at both of those. The Leather Delights soft ballgag was placed gently in his mouth under my full-face hood (not shown), which was used with a blindfold to keep Crush in the dark while I tormented him. As for my very favourite vibrator, the We-Vibe Tango, well, Crush again got to hear me moan and come, both with and without his hungry, lustful input.

Tools of the Trade: ball gag, vibrator and cock ring

I also used various other, not-pictured sensation tools such as a feather stick, a strip of vintage fur, my seven-pinwheel Wartenberg wheel, the edge of a credit card to give him various sensations all over his filthy, sexy body while he was at my mercy. Not only that, but I even managed to give my new Tantus Cush a trial-run to kickstart my testing of it for an upcoming review, so the session was practical as well as just absolutely orgasmically erotic.

I teased him, tortured him, told him what to do, denied him my body, made him beg, made him plead, made him fuck me until I was done. I ordered him around and we both loved it. The tools of the trade pictured here were all immensely helpful in achieving what I wanted, but I think that what really made it all work is that deep inside this sub, there is a dom waiting to get out. And deep inside Crush’s dom heart there is a sub who likes, if not pain and punishment like I do, then being told what to do and not always getting what he wants. The tools of the trade give me, well, the tools, but it’s me that has the power, not my equipment.

What are your favourite tools of the trade? Which do you love most to use on someone or have used on you? Would you feel complete without them? ♦

Sinful Sunday

State Alchemist

♦ OK, so if I had a Vixen Creations Mustang, this picture would be even better, what with the gloves in the picture belonging to a character called Mustang, but as it is, I still really love the Tantus Adam in this shot. Not the best shot in terms of technical quality, as it was taken on my phone, but you’ve got to admit that dildos and anime gloves are not a combination you see every Toy With Me Tuesday.

State Alchemist and Tantus Adam

Let me explain. There’s no other Godly reason for these toy things to be in a photo together other than I took this just after I got both of them and I was very, very happy with them both. I say “got”, I made those gloves. Or at least I bought some white gloves and drew the design onto them. The design is the one from Flame Alchemist Roy Mustang’s gloves in Fullmetal Alchemist, which is a really awesome anime series. And Roy is a really awesome, and very sexy, character too. He’s a State Alchemist, hence the title.

In fact, he’s the second character I have a crush on called Roy, which is a really unsexy name, I feel. If you’re wondering, the other is Roy Greenhilt from Order of the Stick. Yes, he’s a stick man and, yes, he’s still sexy.

Anyway, what’s also sexy is the Tantus Adam. It might be weird to say a dildo is sexy, as such, but have you seen this thing? It is beautiful. When I first got it out of the box I just gazed at it and turned it over in my hands. For a day or so, it was too gorgeous to fuck. I wanted to treat myself. When I did, it was glorious. It’s smooth and well-shaped and the O2 texture is wonderfully squishy-firm.

Many of the dildos I have are awesome or pretty or cool, but this is still one of the most actually beautiful dildos I own. And not because it’s rainbow polka-dotted or awesomely zombielicious or delicately blue-and-white. It’s simple, it probably shouldn’t amount to much in the looks department, but Tantus have got this thing down to a fine art.

An art like alchemy? Tenuous segue is tenuous! In any case, I took this photo a while back, but I hope you guys still like it! What TV series or film would you, oddly, pair up with what sex toy? ♦

Toy with me Tuesday

Love Without Your Heartbeat

Live without the sunlight
Love without your heartbeat
I, I can’t live within you

Nymphomaniac Ness told me some time ago that I should use this picture of the Phallix Glass Love Pacifier dildo for Toy With Me Tuesday and I figured what better time to honour her request than the first birthday of TWMT itself!

So, before I just go right ahead and tell you, can anyone tell me what the title of this post and the quote at the top are all about?

Phallix Glass Love Pacifier

I move the stars for no one.

If you said they’re quotes from Labyrinth, you’re right! If you specifically knew they’re from the song (“Within You”) that plays during the scene with the messed up, Escher-esque stairways, well that’s why I used those quotes for this picture.

The poster in the background of my picture isn’t from the Labyrinth and isn’t Escher either, but it’s very similar in style to them both: strange perspectives, non-Euclidean geometry, stairs that go to ceilings that are walls and floors…

I really wanted to emphasise the clear and reflective beauty of the glass of the Love Pacifier sex toy for this shot, so I placed it on a very clean mirror with the poster folded down to make a convincing fantasy landscape reflection as a background. I think it suits the Labyrinth and works quite well!

What do you think? ♦

Toy with me Tuesday

Dildology: Love Dildos? Donate!

♦ Regular readers of this blog or followers of my Twitter no doubt know I’m what some people could call a Sex Toy Snob. Sure, I get picky about limited colour choices and the gendering of fuck objects and the weakness of certain shitty vibrators, but there’s one area where I just don’t think the label Sex Toy Snob applies, because it’s just what everyone should be worried about.

The safety of your sex toys.

See, many of them just aren’t safe. You’ll have heard me talk before about my own bad experiences with dodgy jelly toys, how they went icky and gave me chemical burns, and you may have even read my 10 Reasons To Avoid Jelly Sex Toys. It’s easy then, isn’t it? Just avoid jelly! Sadly, that’s not the case. Horrible chemicals like phthalates aren’t just limited to jelly, they’re found in all sorts of porous sex toy materials, not to mention the fact that porous materials are impossible to truly clean. Well, surely just avoid those, then?

But it isn’t that easy. Unfortunately, sex toys aren’t regulated and there is no way you can know what on Earth a material with a fancy name like Crystalessence or Sil-a-gel is (unless you do some snooping) or even that a toy that says it’s phthalates-free or made of silicone is either of those things.

Until now.

Dildology Logo is a not-for-profit organisation and awesomeness-machine run by Crista Anne, Dangerous Lilly and Val Orenda with the purpose of raising the money to scientifically test sex toys in a proper laboratory to discover once and for all what’s really in them and if they’re actually safe for us. Their mission statement reads:

The sex toy industry is on the rise, yet it remains largely unregulated. intends to provide material verification services and maintain a public database of the results, adding transparency and oversight to the industry while educating the public about the science behind pleasure products. We stand on our own, unaffiliated and uninfluenced, and we are dedicated to protecting the health and well-being of the dildo-loving population at large through education (and maybe a little entertainment).

As an unbiased, unaffiliated, non-profit organisation, can’t take on any advertising in order to raise money, so they are asking for your kind donations. The majority of donations will go towards product testing and the rest will be used for fundraising incentives, equipment for experiments and the development of educational resources. And testing itself is hardly cheap at around $200-450 (£130-300) per toy tested.

When Lilly started the fundraising blog carnival, I knew I had to help out, hence this post. I’m already sold on how awesome is and, more crucially, how important and necessary it is for the safety of all sex toy users. I’m going to go donate, and get my friends to too, right after I post this, so I don’t need convincing. But maybe you do, so here’s some…

FOR REVIEWERS: The original sex toy tested by the Dildologists, the Jimmyjane Hello Touch, actually failed the common reviewer method of testing whether a toy is silicone or not: the flame test. But the lab results prove that the Hello Touch is indeed silicone. I don’t know about you, but I’m not keen on a world in which even us reviewers, the people who are supposed to know about sex toys, can’t actually test for sure if something is silicone or not. The flame test has failed us, we need something new. We need the Dildologists.

FOR CONSUMERS: We use sex toys for a reason: to improve our sex lives and to have a lot of, hopefully orgasmic, pleasure. We can’t improve our sexual happiness with dodgy materials, dangerous chemicals and absolutely no say over what goes into our own bodies. You really can’t tell me you don’t care what goes in there. At the very least we need to become informed consumers armed with the right to choose. And right now we just can’t have that. We need the Dildologists.

Dildologist T-shirtFOR EVERYONE: are looking to raise $1,500 throughout this blog carnival, and they’re willing to offer juicy incentives to donors. US and Canadian donations of $15+ will receive a 15% off code for SheVibe, UK and European donations of $15+ (£10+) will receive a code for 10% off Lovehoney brand products and Australian donations of $15+ will receive a code for 10% off storewide at MissX. Plus, at $50 (plus $15 for international shipping), you get this awesome t-shirt.

Tantus Curve DildoodleFROM ME: If you donate $30 (£20) or more to, you can get a free sex toy drawing called a Dildoodle (see right for an example) signed and hand-drawn by me for you of the sex toy of your choice (subject to me freaking out that I can’t draw that).

Send me an email after you donate and, once I confirm your donation, I’ll get chatting with you about what toy you want me to draw and send to you. It’s not much, I know, but I want to add a personal thank you.

So, please donate what you can, check out the rest of the great posts in the Blog Carnival Fundraiser and spread the word to everyone you can about this amazing cause. For safety, for science, for sex toys. ♦

Donate for Dildology