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Nerding Out

♦ Have I mentioned how much I love phone cameras? Man, I love phone cameras. It’s amazing how you can get quite decent and quite sexy shots without needing, or certainly getting, professional quality. I don’t know about you, but I grew up with dial-up, so I’m used to my porn not being the most HD you can get.

Like my recent Very Short Stories, it’s all about fitting blogging in where I can at the moment. Time is at a premium.

Nerding Out

Nerding Out 2

In any case, here are some hopefully sexy, and yet everyday, photos of yours truly just nerding out. A geeky t-shirt and jeans is practically my uniform. Here it’s my Wolverine t-shirt, which was an awesome find in the men’s section of Primark. Oh, my do I love the men’s section. That’s where you find all the good geek stuff, because obviously women hate that shit. Duh. Wolverine isn’t my favourite X-Man (that’d be Gambit), but he’s still really cool, especially in his 90s cartoon incarnation.

Speaking of 90s cartoons, those are my Teenage Mutant Hero (because Brits are allergic to Ninjas) Turtles manpants. Another reason to love the men’s section of Primark, in fact. Manpants might not be sexy to some (I think they are, because yay androgyny), but they sure as hell are awesome and comfy.

Got a favourite X-Man or Turtle (mine’s Raphael, because I had/have a thing for arrogant hot heads)? I’d love to know which! ♦

Sinful Sunday

Bristol Alternative and Burlesque Fair

♦ Last Saturday I, plus Crush and Alt, decided to pop over to Bristol (it’s been too long!) for the Heresy n Heelz Alternative and Burlesque Fair, which also covers fetish and steampunk stuffs. We found our way there, helped in part by my sense of direction, in part by big orange posters on the Bristol Bierkellar and in in part by the staff clearly knowing how to spot one of their own and waving us inside.

There was a bar in front of some seating and a main stage with fetish stalls on the far side of the stage and alternative/burlesque stalls on the near side. I liked that set-up as it meant people who came more for the vanilla side, didn’t have to see collars and cocks if they didn’t want to. I did want to, of course, but we decided to look at the closer stalls first.

There was a lot more variety than I expected: from top hats and dresses to jewellery and knick-knacks. One stall in particular, Madams Pinups, seemed made for me and I happily bought a sexy lady tie and a couple of art prints whilst only just managing not to pick up sexy dishcloths at the same time. Sexy dishcloths! I also bought gothic jewellery from The Dark Attic, a metallic papier maché skull from Jesta Streets and a lovely rockabilly dress.

I was of a mind to pick up a men’s shirt from Rafflesia Designs too. They had one with a lovely subtly-coloured sexy mermaid design, but I baulked at the absolutely extortionate price. Frankly, I just don’t care how much you try to tell me it’s handmade, I’m not paying £60 for one shirt. Such a shame.

My favourite stall of the day, though I didn’t buy anything from it because I’ve no idea where I’d wear it was Beautiful Brastards. Just look at how awesome this is:

Beautiful Brastards

I have to say that for me the fetish side of the stalls was a little personally disappointing. There was a flogger stall, but only one of the floggers interested me and in the end I decided I already have too many I don’t play with enough. One stall sold cheap little colourful candles for wax play, so I bought a blue one to try out. Another sold sex toys and the sorts of kink toys you can get on sex toy sites anyway. And for cheaper.

The only particular stalls of interest fetish-wise were one selling new violet wands, of which Alt bought one that I’m probably going to end up throttling him for (take note, police officers!), and a stall of various discounted kink things. I tried on one of those lovely metal ring collars there, but sadly it was a little too small to fit properly.

I go to fetish fairs not for Fetish Fantasy and LELO, but for handmade kink and small-business smut. It was just a bit lacking.

But the Bristol Alternative and Burlesque Fair wasn’t just stalls, oh no. There were performances too. The two pole dancers were gravity-defying and the burlesque was, on the whole, splendid, if a little devoid of actual stripping. That’s not to say the dancers didn’t, to put it crudely, “get enough out”, but more that they generally started not wearing very much to begin with! I’m used to my burlesque routines going from full outfit to a breeze and a whisper rather than starting fairly skimpy in the first place.

Havana Hurricane’s act was good, but a little generic for my liking. I’m more easily impressed by burlesque with a strong theme, so the other two acts were amazing. First Lou Leigh Blue performed an act called Dystopia.

Lou Leigh Blue - Dystopia

Photo by Fenris Oswin.

You can’t see it here, but there’s a silver BAFTAs-like mask on the back of her head and she at first only “faces” the audience with this, making for a creepy eroticism. It was, in essence, a fan dance with billowing silver wings instead of fans, but I absolutely loved the classic sci-fi look and sound of the performance. Plus, sexy.

Then there was a performance from Angelique Dominique, whose routine looked like this:

Her sexy Blade Runner routine as Pris was very sensual and used sound from the film itself. Again, another piece with an original idea and, I have to say, wonderful geek appeal.

Thankfully, all the acts were very good as the compère was completely abysmal. You could see he was trying to get the crowd more vocal, but sadly his methods consisted of cheap “saucy” humour, being patronising, and displaying a seeming ignorance of informed consent. These sections were, I think, so potentially damaging to the kink scene in terms of impression (given it was a mixed kinky/non-kinky event) and to the concept of consent, that I plan to write a rant. So keep your eyes peeled for that one.

Overall, though, it was a very fun day with good friends and great swag, even though my kinky side was a little disappointed and deprived. Would I recommend the Bristol Alternative and Burlesque Fair? As long as you’re not expecting too much and you can stand the compère, I probably would. I may even go again myself. ♦

Stark Contrast

♦This weekend I’ve been at the outstanding Eroticon 2014. Absolutely outstanding, in fact. There will be plenty more blog posts on the subject as I start processing the weekend and regaining energy. For now, it’s Sinful Sunday and I’m dying to put some of the things I learnt and the inspiration I got in Molly’s Saturday session on photography into practice.

Plus, I always like to take a dirty picture or two on the Eroticon weekend anyway, just because.

image

Be brave, try things out. That was key thing I picked up not just from that session, but from the whole weekend. Sometimes I’m reluctant to take dirty pictures because I’m not naturally photogenic and I don’t think I’ll look all that good. But the whole thing inspired me to be bold and be true. Be honest.

So I gave it a go and, especially given this was the only shot of me I hastily took this morning, I’m proud of myself! I managed to pick my spot and get a mixture of stark contrast (see what I did there?) and diffuse hints of light elsewhere.

And I love how you can see just a glimpse of my Iron Man (there’s a hint) manpants and naked body in clarity. Geeky enough for you?

Now all I have to do is apply the tips from Eroticon and the confidence from this shot to my proper camera and see what I can do! ♦

SinfulSunday

Sinful Santa

♦ Merry Christmas and a very happy New year to you, reader! I hope you don’t mind the slightly delayed greeting, but it’s been a busy holiday period of mince pies, stolen kisses, cheer and far too much Magic the Gathering. I’ve been relaxing, spending time with loved ones and generally making merry, so I haven’t had chance to post anything festive until now.

I hope, then, that you won’t be so bored of the whole affair that you’ll begrudge me showing you my Christmas Day outfit. I’m fairly sure that you’ll enjoy it!

Sinful Santa Close-Up

Ah, but you’ve undoubtedly seen my cleavage in pictures on here before. It’s certainly one of my favourite camera angles. It’s Christmassy, sure, but it’s not anything new. Well then, how about something a bit more daring? A bit more revealing? A bit more risky? My body, perhaps. A glimpse of face, perhaps. Not to worry, I know just how to pull that off.

Sinful Santa Revealed

Ah, a Father Christmas hat that hides a multitude of sins and a trippy background that does the same. No-one needs to see my Psyduck. No, that’s not a euphemism.

Anyway, I’m pretty pleased with how these turned out, given the outfit was for Crush’s sake and not yours. I didn’t intend to pose, but then the natural lighting was so good (isn’t it?) and I felt so sexy that I thought I’d get my lad to take a couple of quick ones before we got further dressed to go and open presents.

So, what do you think, festive enough for you? If you’d sat on this Santa’s lap this Christmas Day, what would you have asked her for? ♦

SinfulSunday

Fleisch – Erotic Body Horror

♦ I’m still here. I’m not going away, don’t worry. Hopefully, this post is a return to more regular posting and normal service. I’ve been busy, then stressed and anxious, then busy again. Geek life and geek me have gotten in the way of blog writing and blog me. It’s a phenomenally busy time of year. But I’m not disappearing. And now for a normal post…

I’ve said before that I think it can be a little too easy sometimes to arouse by a photo. I’ve tried to mix horror and eroticism together before too. It’s easy to be intimate when you’re showing intimate parts of yourself. It’s easy to arouse when all you’re doing is trying to arouse.

This week for Sinful Sunday, I am, of course, trying to arouse you, but I’m not just trying to arouse you…

Fleisch  - erotic body horror

As usual, click the image for a bigger version, if you’d like. In any case, this is what I consider erotic body horror. Hopefully, it’s eerie,creepy and yet still a little sexual and tantalising. Erotic, but not necessarily in a comfortable way. In fact, it should be a bit uncomfortable.

It draws on fetish elements (like the chains and the veiny posture collar and chastity-like device), elements of medical/sickness fetish (the leg brace, the inability to walk) and forniphilia (human furniture) as well as just straight-up weirdness like the flesh coloured eyes, the lack of nipples and the strange formation of her body.

I won’t go as far as to say I hope you like it, but I hope it affects you, at least. I’d love to know your thoughts on it and how it makes you feel. Are you aroused? Are you scared? Does it leave you cold? Is there room for body horror and eroticism to share a space and intermingle? ♦

SinfulSunday

iCollection Plus Size Eyelash Lace and Satin Chemise Review

iCollection Plus Size Eyelash Lace and Satin Chemise

Disclaimer: I was provided with a free iCollection Plus Size Eyelash Lace and Satin Chemise by Lovehoney in exchange for my honest review. Click any image to embiggen.

♦ The iCollection Plus Size Eyelash Lace and Satin Chemise (hereafter, the iCollection Eyelash Chemise), sold by Lovehoney, is a beautiful item of lingerie designed for the fuller figure. Or, as I tend to call myself, fat. Because it’s true. Anyway, it’s a chemise with light wiring and padding on the bra cups and a bra closure at the back, sheer black mesh panels on the flanks and, elsewhere, on the middle panel and cups (as well as a small panel on the backside), a lovely silver satin with eyelash lace detail. It also comes with a very basic mesh G-string.

iCollection Plus Size Eyelash Lace and Satin Chemise FrontSo, first things first, just look at it. The iCollection Eyelash Chemise is absolutely gorgeous and is exactly the kind of lingerie I normally go for. The black mesh flanks are flattering and sensual, the silver satin is glossy and classy and the eyelash lace means there is just enough detail to keep it all interesting. It’s intricate without being too floofy or fussy.

The long line of the chemise skims the underside of my bottom and smooths out your silhouette without being too restrictive or overly long.

And I love the colour. It’s not girly or overly feminine. In fact, it’s very neutral and yet still elegant and sexy and beautiful. Even the big bow nestled between the cups is awesome. Basically, it looks great from the front.

From the back I’m slightly less keen as the satin panel has no lace detail, leaving it a bit plain, and the big, open keyhole-ish back under the fastening reveals perhaps a bit too much of my wobbly back around the base of the shoulders. It’s a little unflattering. But the way it skims my arse cheeks is lovely and it’s undeniably sexy when I bend forward and the chemise pulls up to reveal my bum.

iCollection Plus Size Eyelash Lace and Satin Chemise Back

I requested a size 2X iCollection Eyelash Chemise, which, according to the size guide (which lists it as an 18-20), has a 40″-46″ bust, a 34″-38″ waist and 42″-46″ hips and should correspond to a UK dress size 20, which I am (at least on the bottom half). Now, this is where the numbers and the fit don’t seem to match up. I wear a size 38C bra (which is probably technically the wrong size for me, but fits well and I’m used to it) and I’ve just measured myself up as a roughly 46″ bust (so far so right), a 41″ waist (hence why I buy 36″ corsets) and 52″ hips (because my hips are badonk-a-donk and the word “childbearing” is apt, though hilariously wasted).

That said, the areas where the numbers should mean it’s too small, my waist and hips, fit very well indeed (not loose, but nowhere near too snug, a pleasant cling), but the area that should fit perfectly, my bust, just doesn’t fit at all. At least, the back size roughly fits (I actually think the lack of support in the back strap compounds the issue), but the cup size is, sadly, too big. This leads to my boobs sinking down into the cup too much, which does two things: it doesn’t look so great and it doesn’t feel so great.

iCollection Plus Size Eyelash Lace and Satin Chemise Breasts
How the bust looks like WITH severe fluffing. It doesn’t stay this way without an additional bra.

It looks pretty awful when your bra is clearly too big for you. It makes your boobs look small, even when they’re not. It looks clumsy, ill-fitting, unsexy. My usual eye-taking-out cleavage is reduced to a sad display unless I fluff it up almost constantly.

And that feels rubbish too. I wore it for the day with no other support to see what it was like and it was deeply uncomfortable due to the bust size. My back hurt and I felt boobless even though the cups held their shape under my top, almost as if I was wearing airbags. It was disturbing, actually.

I found that I could mostly solve the problem by wearing my favourite bra underneath the iCollection Eyelash Chemise to fit properly and have any actual support (as I say, I don’t think the bra strap on the chemise is firm enough), but that wasn’t ideal either as the cups of the chemise would then slowly ride up over the bra a little over the evening, meaning I’d have to re-adjust every now and again.

It’s disappointing, because I don’t see much point having really beautiful lingerie if it doesn’t complement your really beautiful body. Without supporting my breasts like some of my other lingerie or everyday bras, I’m left looking a bit deflated instead of absolute wowza. A shame.

iCollection Plus Size Eyelash Lace and Satin Chemise G-String

The G-string, at least, fit very well indeed. My problem areas for fitting into clothes tend to be shoulders and the whole hip/stomach area, which can make finding good knickers a pain. But the elastic is incredibly stretchy, yet firm, and in fact was so well sized for me that it didn’t really even need to stretch at all, it just clung right. In fact, if anything, the elastic might be too generous, because I found myself wearing it pretty high up on my hips, much higher than usual. But it felt comfy, posed no problems and didn’t even give me a wedgie as often as I might expect from a G-string. It looks basic, sure, but it does the job very well.

CONCLUSION

The iCollection Plus Size Eyelash Lace and Satin Chemise makes me a little sad. It looks so gorgeous, but it hides a real flaw for me. When I put it on, my boobs are lost in its voluminous cups and the look is unflattering and unsexy. If I fluff and don’t move too much (untenable outside of brief bedroom sorties), it looks good. If I wear my favourite bra underneath it to give my breasts actual support, it looks good. But neither is perfect and neither really holds up for convenient wear throughout the day, which, although not necessary, is in my list of lingerie wants. Too-big bra cups aside, it fits like a dream, is super comfy for something so classy and looks divine.

So, if you’re a big girl with even bigger breasts (I’d say it’d probably best fit D-cups and above, at a guess), go all out for this seriously beautiful and comfortable lingerie and pick up the iCollection Plus Size Eyelash Lace and Satin Chemise from Lovehoney today. If, like me, you’re a big girl with modest boobs for your size, perhaps give it a miss unless you don’t mind needing extra support. ♦

Silvered Tips

Silvered Tips 1Silvered Tips 2Silvered Tips 4

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

♦ I just couldn’t pick one of this set of pictures for this week’s Wicked Wednesday, so I went for all three of them. Any complaints? I certainly hope not!

Here’s me in my black chemise (as pictured way in the past), pulled down around the neck to expose my, admittedly ample-looking, breasts. And on each nipple? A silvered tip.

These are the Nipple Charms that I won from my First Place in the Underneath competition for Sinful Sunday a little while back. Aren’t they just gorgeous?

They fit so well, they feel so comfy, they stay on (even on my wayward nipple). And they almost, almost make me not so sad that I can’t get nipple piercings (metal through flesh physically freaks Crush out, so he wouldn’t be able to play with my nipples again!).  I still wish there was something that would have the same aesthetic as an actual nipple barbell, but for now I’m content to have pretty silver nips like these.

What about you? How do you accessorise your nipples? How would you if you could do anything? ♦

Wicked Wednesday

Mossy Peaks

♦ I originally took this mossy picture using Instagram, but then it turned out that Instagram doesn’t like tits. Or really very much that implies sexuality, though they’ve yet to take down any of my sex toy photos or cleavage shots, which is something.

Anyway, you lot are an audience who I think will appreciate this picture as it’s intended. So, here you are, the mossy peaks of my breasts as shown in my new green lace camisole thingy.

Mossy Peaks - lace and boobs

Green is Crush’s favourite colour, so I had to get this even though I wouldn’t usually pick this sort of mossy khaki green for lingerie. And it’s come in handy, too. I wore it under a khaki jacket and my Bill from Left 4 Dead cosplay beret, with a brown leather skirt. Then I gave Private Crush a lovely bit of military justice for being a bad, bad boy.

It worked rather well! We got along just swimmingly. Do you think you and Sgt Blacksilk would get along? ♦

Wicked Wednesday

Prime Time

♦ Dear everyone, welcome to my favourite pants. Oh, and I guess there’s me there too, but, y’know, whatever. The point is, these are just the best pants ever. And they’re not even for my gender.

Obviously, because they have robots on them. And girls only like ponies.

In any case, I remember that when I was a teenager I’d have been terrified to have been caught in pants like this. Full ass coverage? Ick, granny pants. Who cared about comfy? If people found out you weren’t cheese-wiring your own ass-crack, you were probably frigid. Best years of your life, eh? Ugh.

But I’ve tried thongs and briefs and French knickers and while they all have their place, my heart is well and truly set on that king of knickers: manpants. Sure, imitation boypants, the female underwear that just steals the style, are fine and comfy, but they so rarely have anything cool on them. But actual boxer-briefs, neither boxer nor brief, are covered in awesomeness (and cock jokes, but you can’t have it all).

And these are just the best I own. Motherfuckin’ Transformers.

Prime Time

You can only just see Optimus Prime there, because of the totally-subtle hand down my pants, but there’s also Hot Rod (there’s no way I’m calling him Rodimus Prime) and Ultra Magnus. Yup, they even themed which Autobots were going to be on there based on the Matrix of Leadership. I’m impressed.

But I’ve probably lost most of you now, so, er… Look! I’m totally touching myself! Rrowr! Who said geeks weren’t hot?

So, what are your favourite underpants like? What characters would you put on your ideal geeky (or otherwise) pair? ♦

Sinful Sunday

State Alchemist

♦ OK, so if I had a Vixen Creations Mustang, this picture would be even better, what with the gloves in the picture belonging to a character called Mustang, but as it is, I still really love the Tantus Adam in this shot. Not the best shot in terms of technical quality, as it was taken on my phone, but you’ve got to admit that dildos and anime gloves are not a combination you see every Toy With Me Tuesday.

State Alchemist and Tantus Adam

Let me explain. There’s no other Godly reason for these toy things to be in a photo together other than I took this just after I got both of them and I was very, very happy with them both. I say “got”, I made those gloves. Or at least I bought some white gloves and drew the design onto them. The design is the one from Flame Alchemist Roy Mustang’s gloves in Fullmetal Alchemist, which is a really awesome anime series. And Roy is a really awesome, and very sexy, character too. He’s a State Alchemist, hence the title.

In fact, he’s the second character I have a crush on called Roy, which is a really unsexy name, I feel. If you’re wondering, the other is Roy Greenhilt from Order of the Stick. Yes, he’s a stick man and, yes, he’s still sexy.

Anyway, what’s also sexy is the Tantus Adam. It might be weird to say a dildo is sexy, as such, but have you seen this thing? It is beautiful. When I first got it out of the box I just gazed at it and turned it over in my hands. For a day or so, it was too gorgeous to fuck. I wanted to treat myself. When I did, it was glorious. It’s smooth and well-shaped and the O2 texture is wonderfully squishy-firm.

Many of the dildos I have are awesome or pretty or cool, but this is still one of the most actually beautiful dildos I own. And not because it’s rainbow polka-dotted or awesomely zombielicious or delicately blue-and-white. It’s simple, it probably shouldn’t amount to much in the looks department, but Tantus have got this thing down to a fine art.

An art like alchemy? Tenuous segue is tenuous! In any case, I took this photo a while back, but I hope you guys still like it! What TV series or film would you, oddly, pair up with what sex toy? ♦

Toy with me Tuesday