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Moonglasses

♦ Every time I look at my LELO Luna Beads, I think how they’d make fantastic stoopid-lookin’ eyes for some of the toys or masks or people (hey, Crush) I’ve got lying around. So this time I did it. I was a bit pressed for time, so I mucked the lighting up on the right of the shot, but I think it’s juuuust cute enough to work anyway. So I plonked these kegel balls (the phrase “jiggle balls” can fuck off) on their fluffy little faces. Smooth customers.

For those who are wondering, the little fluffy ones featured here are the completely adorable pigs from Sanrio’s Monokuro Boo (lit: “monochrome oink”) franchise of useless cutesy things I’ve never needed but have bought anyway. I’ve never been able to work out if the two pigs (who love each other very much and are “an attractive couple, even though we don’t know whether they have thick heads, or they are sullen”) have individual names, but I call mine Mono and Kuro. Unsurprisingly, I got these in Japan.

Aren’t they awesome? I think the style suits the delicate and somewhat cute colours of the Luna Beads and they certainly look ridiculously cool and also just ridiculous in their moonglasses. They should start an adorable Pigsploitation detective agency. ♦

Toy with me Tuesday

Alien Probe

♦ OK, so when I said on Twitter that I wasn’t going to post a Toy With Me Tuesday last week so that (among other things) I’d have time to take some fancy photos, I may have been being optimistic. I didn’t. But I didn’t because I spent all weekend coming up with a story for a zombie erotica anthology and starting to write it, so I think that’s pretty worthwhile.

So, yeah, today’s picture is a little last minute again. I apologise. I hope it still makes the grade though. Whilst I didn’t at all accomplish what I was trying to with this shot, I think it’s an interesting one. The toy looks cool in the light and I like the reflection of the camera from different angles. It makes the toy look sort of alien. I like to imagine I’m a reporter doing some snooping and I’ve found this weird probe thing while looking through government files, heh. What could this thing be?

Well, any ideas? Click to embiggen and for the answer (in your address bar). ♦

Toy with me Tuesday

Washing Day

♦ As I’ve mentioned, we moved house very recently. Just before we did, I figured it was a good time to have a clear out of all my sex toys, get rid of a few remaining awful things (you’ll hopefully see a post about that shortly) and have a good sort and clean of the awesome ones that were left.

So, I loaded up all my dildos into a canvas bag and traipsed them downstairs to my sink. It was the most fun washing-up I’ve ever done in my life. Genuinely. Here you can see some of the lovely dildos at rest, basking in the sun and slowly drying.

From left to right, top to bottom: the Tantus Acute, Tantus Max O2, Tantus Echo, Tantus Throb and Tantus Adam O2, Tantus Niagara O2 and then the Tantus VIP Super Soft and the Lovemoiselle Elodie. Crikey, I do actually own a ton of Tantus, don’t I? And yet not enough! Don’t worry, I do own other brands. Just not in such quantities.

Again taken with my phone, hopefully I’ll be back up to real-camera-speed by next week! ♦

Toy with me Tuesday

The Perils of Packing

♦ Last week I went to the pub wearing my packing cock. I don’t have any packing pants at the moment, though the fantastic RodeoH are working on that (so excited!), so I settled for tucking my Mr Limpy into a pair of boypants.

I added jeans, a shirt and a tie, but I kept the bra and boobs, because cock or not, I like my boobs. And off I went. Here’s a snap of me getting dressed.

It was fantastic. I’m not sure if my friends noticed, but I don’t much care either way. I felt sexy, confident and slightly turned on. I’m not going to do it all the time, but I do like it.

There is one slight problem with packing in pants that don’t have a pouch, though. Going to the toilet. Down come the pants and, if you don’t have a plan, out will fall the packer. Luckily, I had an idea. Pub toilets may have rohypnol in mind rather than the perils of packing, but beggars can’t be choosers! ♦

Toy with me Tuesday

Discworld and Dildos

♦ I love my camera (even though it EATS batteries) and I really want to get properly good at photography, so I’ve been doing artsy shots of sex toys for my reviews for a little while now. I love thinking up a scene that will complement the toy and I love getting a good shot. Sex toys are, in the main, sexy in and of themselves, I think. Not all of them, certainly, but some are practically works of art and some inspire lust in me by sight alone.

I love to see good photography of toys because I just don’t think there’s enough of it, so I’m thrilled to see Nymphomaniac Ness come up with a weekly meme that focuses on artsy shots of sex toys. Great idea and you couldn’t wish for a better reviewer to lead the charge!

Without further ado, here’s my very first entry to the very first Toy With Me Tuesday

Until recently when my Lovehoney Satin Drawstring Toy Bags arrived, I had taken to storing many of my dildos up on the top shelf of my bookshelf after cleaning. Many of them stand up nicely on their own and why muck about rummaging in a drawer when I can just grab them when I want them? So here’s the Tantus Echo, Throb, Niagara O2, Acute and Adam O2.

Sure, this isn’t my best sex toy photo in technical or imaginative terms, but it’s recent and you haven’t seen it before and I think it might make you grin. Good old Tantus toys in front of good old Terry Pratchett, both fantastic craftspeople in their differing arenas. Discworld and dildos, what more could a gal want? ♦

Toy with me Tuesday