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Nerding Out

♦ Have I mentioned how much I love phone cameras? Man, I love phone cameras. It’s amazing how you can get quite decent and quite sexy shots without needing, or certainly getting, professional quality. I don’t know about you, but I grew up with dial-up, so I’m used to my porn not being the most HD you can get.

Like my recent Very Short Stories, it’s all about fitting blogging in where I can at the moment. Time is at a premium.

Nerding Out

Nerding Out 2

In any case, here are some hopefully sexy, and yet everyday, photos of yours truly just nerding out. A geeky t-shirt and jeans is practically my uniform. Here it’s my Wolverine t-shirt, which was an awesome find in the men’s section of Primark. Oh, my do I love the men’s section. That’s where you find all the good geek stuff, because obviously women hate that shit. Duh. Wolverine isn’t my favourite X-Man (that’d be Gambit), but he’s still really cool, especially in his 90s cartoon incarnation.

Speaking of 90s cartoons, those are my Teenage Mutant Hero (because Brits are allergic to Ninjas) Turtles manpants. Another reason to love the men’s section of Primark, in fact. Manpants might not be sexy to some (I think they are, because yay androgyny), but they sure as hell are awesome and comfy.

Got a favourite X-Man or Turtle (mine’s Raphael, because I had/have a thing for arrogant hot heads)? I’d love to know which! ♦

Sinful Sunday

Prime Time

♦ Dear everyone, welcome to my favourite pants. Oh, and I guess there’s me there too, but, y’know, whatever. The point is, these are just the best pants ever. And they’re not even for my gender.

Obviously, because they have robots on them. And girls only like ponies.

In any case, I remember that when I was a teenager I’d have been terrified to have been caught in pants like this. Full ass coverage? Ick, granny pants. Who cared about comfy? If people found out you weren’t cheese-wiring your own ass-crack, you were probably frigid. Best years of your life, eh? Ugh.

But I’ve tried thongs and briefs and French knickers and while they all have their place, my heart is well and truly set on that king of knickers: manpants. Sure, imitation boypants, the female underwear that just steals the style, are fine and comfy, but they so rarely have anything cool on them. But actual boxer-briefs, neither boxer nor brief, are covered in awesomeness (and cock jokes, but you can’t have it all).

And these are just the best I own. Motherfuckin’ Transformers.

Prime Time

You can only just see Optimus Prime there, because of the totally-subtle hand down my pants, but there’s also Hot Rod (there’s no way I’m calling him Rodimus Prime) and Ultra Magnus. Yup, they even themed which Autobots were going to be on there based on the Matrix of Leadership. I’m impressed.

But I’ve probably lost most of you now, so, er… Look! I’m totally touching myself! Rrowr! Who said geeks weren’t hot?

So, what are your favourite underpants like? What characters would you put on your ideal geeky (or otherwise) pair? ♦

Sinful Sunday

Earning My Wings

♦ Some time ago, Crush and I (along with Alt) went to one of London’s fine fetish fairs for a bit of a shufty around. We came away with a few interesting items:  a fluffy-backed riding crop and a metal ball-chain flogger (ouch).

But perhaps the best thing we found was this vintage RAF jacket.

Vintage RAF Jacket

It was bought for Crush. I like old military uniforms and the RAF by far are the coolest, and sexiest, ones. It fitted him well and he looked very handsome and hot in it. He still does whenever he wears it.

But I have to admit, I’ve taken quite a liking to it myself. So I pinch it now and then. Men from the era being slim and me being plump, it doesn’t quite close, though…

Naked Boobs in Vintage RAF Jacket

I don’t know, do you think that’s a problem? Have I earned my wings? ♦

Wicked Wednesday

“Objectification” by Blacksilk

So, if you’ve read my latest blog post, the first one ever written by my beautiful partner Crush (and if you haven’t, do, this will make slightly more sense), you’ll have realised that I found myself entering a singularly unusual sexy situation just the other evening. I came home and up the stairs to Crush’s room, opening the door to a strange, but undoubtedly erotic, sight. Sprawled on the bed was Crush, strapped by his ankles and wrists to the under-the-bed restraints, wearing his sexy green shirt open to reveal his chest. He was wearing his jeans, but they were pushed down to his knees. He was bare from his knees right up to his neck.

But I didn’t get to see everything. Oh, no. His head was covered by what turned out to be a cider box, it’s side covered in white paper on which was drawn a head with a question mark for a face. Covering his cock was a homemade cardboard “Censored” bar that obscured what I assumed was his erection. A new vase of flowers stood on the chest of drawers and four red ones had been plucked from it and draped across his legs artfully. The computer screen showed a fantastic, and sarcastic, mini-essay about gender and objectification. Crush’s words explain this whole set-up best.

Nonetheless, a picture does speak a thousand words…

Objectified Crush

I was… well, flabbergasted. I’m not often lost for words of any kind. This left me speechless in surprise, shock… I was assailed by both the fact that Crush had planned something elaborate and thoughtful for me but also by the absolute absurdity and weirdness of the situation. I flailed helplessly for a moment before Crush drew my attention to my camera sat on his desk. I knew I had to take advantage of the situation. I stripped off my clothes and spent a few minutes restraining myself from touching him, taking photos of his beautiful body and his strange… art installation? I knew that once we really got started, none of this would go back the way it was.

Putting the camera down, I removed the flowers from Crush’s legs and put all but one of them back in the vase. I sat down next to him on the bed, naked, and began to run the petals of the flower head over his exposed skin. I trailed the flower over his chest, his arms, his thighs, then excruciatingly slowly up the length of his cock from base to tip. He sighed and I took to varying the sensations over his body: the edge of the petals, the face of the flower, the tip of the stalk. Each of them trailed over his flesh and teased his nerve endings. He couldn’t see except for a crack at the base of his head-box, which helped magnify the strange sensations.

I was peppering my exploration of his body with frequent spluttering cries of “You are actually mad, you know that?”, “I love you!” and “What on Earth possessed you?”. He explained a bit more of his thinking behind it all and mentioned in passing that the particular feminist he’d been reading had said something along the lines of that it was possible for women to objectify men but that it meant that they were basically really men and vice versa. My gender-bending kink pricked its ears up at this point.

“So, that means I’m a guy….” I said.

I know that genderfuck doesn’t really do it for Crush and that he still finds the whole idea a bit out of his comfort zone, but I was pleased to hear him reply so positively. Then he said a word that sent an honest-to-God jolt through my pussy and up into my brain.

“Master,” he called me.

I couldn’t even tell you why that did it for me or why that thought still does it for me. It’s something I feel rather than think. I like to analyse my kinks, of course, because it’s interesting; I’m just not very good at it.

Nonetheless, the word “Master” coursed through my body in a way it never has when I’ve said it in submission to a man. It was true arousal, devoid of thought, a direct line to my body. I grinned and he said it again. The rest of the evening, in fact, was spattered with it.

I removed his homemade “Censored” bar and took him in my mouth. I might have been nominally in control, Crush might have been wanting me to take the lead, but I still wanted to give him pleasure. That and the fact that he’d done this all for me, the fact that chemistry was powering my mostly-a-sub body more than intellect or emotion, meant that I was finding it hard to be anything other than pliant and grateful. But I love to suck him. His cock tastes beautiful, feels wonderful in my mouth and smells so good to me. His come, I’ll be honest, I can take or leave. But his cock…

Not too long in, I had a better idea. Sucking Crush’s cock was fun, but I wanted to tease and torture him at the same time. I straddled his chest facing his feet, took my beloved Tango vibrator from the bedside and placed it, buzzing, between my pussy lips. It nestled helpfully between my body and his, pinned by his taut chest and my folds, as I leant forward to suck him again.

It wasn’t the easiest of positions, let me tell you. I was awkwardly placed to keep hold of his cock as I needed my hands to prop my body up on all fours. When I shifted position, the Tango would sometimes move about and once made a beeline up Crush’s chest to rumble by his collarbone. But it was worth it when I moaned hard around his cock and came, shuddering, on top of him, my pussy mere inches from his obscured face.

I wanted him inside me and he readily agreed. He suggested I stay facing his feet and give reverse cowgirl a go, something we’ve never tried before. Again, it turned out not to be the easiest task, but to be worth it. I falteringly guided him inside me as I straddled him around the hips and called him my bitch. My slut. He called me his Master.

Objectification Head Box

He could still peek out of the bottom of his box and I wondered briefly what the view, if really any, was like for him. It was a much more awkward position for me and for the ease of thrusting/riding than the usual girl-on-top, but the novelty (and the vibrator I held to my clit) made up for that. Adventure, after all, is exciting. Trying something new together, whether a resounding success or just a new sensation, is a wonderful experience. Whilst it’s not a position we’ll go back to regularly, the discovery was wonderful.

I dismounted and turned to face him, adding some lube to his cock for an effortless re-entry. This time, I’d go for “normal” cowgirl. It was just too hard to let go and come when I was in the other, more awkward, position. When it suited me, I pulled the cardboard box from his head, leaving him blinking up at me in the bright light of the bedroom. I know he loves to see me anew after being deprived. He started to up the frequency of his dirty comments to me and I lapped them up, asking for more, more, more. I bounced on his cock and he thrust up into me, making himself mine with every one of his utterances, giving himself to me with his body. Before long I was asking from one phrase and one phrase only, on repeat, as I climbed towards my summit.

“Please come, Master.”

He begged, he pleaded with those words. I shook, the Tango still at my clit, the sweat coating my skin, my knees weak with exertion. And I came. I came perhaps as hard as I’ve ever come. I talk big sometimes with metaphors and similes and rhetoric, I write my orgasms as storms and bullies and destruction. This was cataclysm. When it finished, I could barely speak, barely move, barely think. My body could support myself no longer and I let myself tumble sideways from Crush’s body. I fumbled, dumb, a zombie, at his nearest wrist strap, releasing him from his bonds and told him to fuck me again. I demanded that he take me as I recovered on my back.

And he did. His cock slid inside my honestly quite battered pussy, my pleasure-weakened body. This fuck was for him. His time to come. I told him as much and he certainly didn’t hold back. His Master spoke firmly to her little slut, goading him, urging him on until he too came hard, gasping, panting.

He collapsed onto me and we athletes rested our tired, hot, sticky bodies in each others’ arms. And I’ll tell you something: as they say “I don’t know much about art, but I know what I like.”

And Crush’s exhibition was certainly a resounding, earth-shattering, love-tempering success. ♦

“Objectification” by Crush

This post marks the first (but hopefully not last) instance of Crush, my gorgeous boyfriend, writing on my blog! Hooray! He explains the set-up that lead to a noteworthy encounter between us recently. And now, over to him…

♦ So where to start this story, I guess I should start with Monday, where Blacksilk and I were talking. She’d just finished her glass-to-arse session and we’d done all that mundane life stuff, so were getting an early night. Blacksilk, not for the first time, raised the topic of my penis and how the online world was sorely lacking in its finery, having already got the rest of me. Sorry to disappoint all my fans out there, but you’ll have to wait a bit longer. :P

But the conversation had given me an idea, Blacksilk is occasionally keen to take photos, but due to my insistence on cock-less shots they require framing or editing or, I dunno, I’m not a camera-wielder, some magic along those lines. Clearly what is needed is a censor bar, like the one Blacksilk has on her Twitter pic and presumably elsewhere where nipples are frowned upon (weird mental image there1 ). But not just any censor bar, a shadow censor bar, um, I mean, a real-life one.

I’d initially planned to do this for Tuesday, but then remembered that I was supposed to be cooking food for the rest of our house, and that may be hard to do appropriately without clothes on (Alt has declared on many an occasion that he is most definitely not attracted to me, and the rest of our housemates would be similarly unkeen). Plus, a day’s a bit short notice.

Okay, so, I hadn’t really got a plan formed at this point, so Tuesday involved thinking up an idea, by the end of which I’d narrowed it down to: find a box, sellotape some card or use a bin liner somehow… A quick check with Red confirmed my belief that two of these three plans, combined with hair, would be painful, so a box it was. I initially planned to use a kitchen roll tube somehow, but then Wednesday morning I realised a much better plan, using a cling film (that’s plastic wrap for our overseas friends) box. I also thought, hey, while I’m obscuring the photo, why not get a box on my head or some such.

Of course, once you’re putting a box on someone’s head, it’s only a tiny jump to objectification, because that’s a thing. From my devastatingly large sample size I get the feeling that this and many other forms of objectification are, shall we say, a little more called out when it’s women as the victim than men, so I thought I could make some sort of statement about it, because political statements and sex are a good combination. Bah, whatever.

So Wednesday I went and got some black card, cut up some stuff, did a bit of gluing and came up with:

Censored

Truly I am a master of basic craft skills.

I had initially thought of putting something like “objectify this man” on the box, but then decided to go with the classic question mark in a silhouette style thing. Obviously this meant that there was nowhere to put the description of the idea, so I thought “Hey, maybe I could make it like an art piece”. I did some research, well, not really, just a bit of reading on the Internet, but that’s close enough, and came up with the following (warning: the following may contain the view that extreme feminists are mental cases):

Objectified Man?

To complete the plan I also got some really expensive flowers. They were like £3. And they say chivalry is dead. Blacksilk called me after she got out of work (as is the norm, because we’re soppy romantics or something) and I subtly worked out what time she was getting home, by asking her for it (thanks, Equilibrium).

So, how to sort out a good art exhibit, well, firstly, a few clothes, not really covering much, more as a decorative piece, jeans around ankles, shirt fully undone, censored bar in place. Place some flowers for emphasis… Oh, and cuffs of course, ankles are easy, but then I had to fiddle a bit to cuff one wrist and then slip into the cuff of the other wrist, but fortunately I had a bit of time spare. I also had a hole in the side of the box, so I could see what time it was and check my screen-saver didn’t do something stupid.

So Blacksilk got home and came upstairs to say hi, upon entering the room she, well, I guess that’s a story best told by her in another blog post. ;) ♦

A round of applause for Crush, everyone! I hope you’re all excited to see him writing for a sex blog for the first time, do please be gentle with him. And tell him/us what you think! Wasn’t he fantastic? Don’t forget to read the follow-up!

  1. *I’m kinda imagining that bit in Gangnam Style, but with a frown rather than a weird shout and boobs instead of bum. []

Take Your Partner

Take Your Partner Lovehoney erotic anthology ♦ Hey, remember that time I got published? Oops, I did it again!

Yup, another of my stories has been officially published, this time by the wonderful emporium of sexy that is Lovehoney. They ran a competition back in May asking for erotica on any theme and I knew I had to enter. For a start, simply by entering each writer got 2,000 Oh! Points and I’m slowly inching my way towards buying something very exciting with those.

The prize of £100 to spend at Lovehoney was also tempting, but probably the biggest draws were the prestige of publishing a story through Lovehoney and the element of fierce competition. And competition was indeed fierce! Only ten winners were drawn from over 250 entries. Yikes.

And I won! But not only that, my story “Take Your Partner” has become the title story of the entire anthology! Wow!

Yes, Take Your Partner and Other Stories is now available to buy!

I was so chuffed to be included and I’m even more so to be the lead and title story for the book. It’s beyond words to be able to look at the cover and say to myself, “That’s me, that is.” Here’s what the blurb has to say about my story:

“Tango is the dance of love, and when our newly single heroine finds herself dancing with the boyish Georgie at her weekly class, she definitely feels some strong emotions.”

So, no zombies this time, I went for something a little more accessible. In fact, it was actually a hard one to dream up! Not because the subject matter and style was tough, like in “Last Man on Earth” for Hungry for Love, but because I could write about anything if I wanted. Boy, do I hate a blank, white page, whether figurative or literal.

In the end I decided I wanted to write something with a bit of genderplay, a boyish girl, some masculine energy, because that gets me hot. And I wanted to write something sex toy positive because this is Lovehoney we’re talking about and also sex toys are amazing. I didn’t end up using the original inspiration for this story, a certain vibrator with a cha-cha rhythm, but I’m so glad nonetheless that it was there to spark the idea. And provide energy-boosting orgasms.

In any case, Lovehoney will be doing an official release of this story some time in the New Year, but until then why not beat the crowd? ♦

Stories in Take Your Partner and Other Stories

Take Your Partner by Blacksilk
Delice de Chocolat by Viva Jones
I Promise to… Please by Lily Harlem
In Control by Hope Willowbrook
I Don’t Do This by G C Carmine
Paris by Moonlight by Justine Elyot
I Promise to… Surrender by Lily Harlem
The Princess and the G-Spot by Neneh Gordon
I Promise to… Perform by Lily Harlem
Robot with Green Eyes by L A Meadows

Witticisms: Sexual Morality

♦ I came across this absolutely fantastic and apt quote about sex and our attitudes towards it by a Norwegian writer. Heck, you all know me enough by now to know I think this way, but it just sums it up so well and I really think it bears repeating. On sexual morality and why it is mostly bull… ♦

People speak of ‘sexual morality,’ but that is a misleading expression. There is no special morality for sex. No matter what you do with yourself, whether you go to bed with girls or with boys, and no matter what it occurs to you to do with them or with yourself, no moral rule applies to that sphere of activity other than the principles that govern every aspect of life: honesty, courage, common humanity, consideration. – Jens Bjørnboe

Review – RodeoH Harness

♦ Disclaimer: I was provided with a free RodeoH Harness by RodeoH in exchange for my honest review. Your Mileage May Vary.

The RodeoH Harness is not the kind of strap-on harness you’ll probably be used to seeing. Instead of a tangle of leather or webbing straps, it looks like an innocuous pair of boypants. Now, I actually like the look of a standard strap harness when it’s done right, don’t get me wrong, but this is something else. It’s a different appeal altogether and I’m certainly damn glad the RodeoH briefs exist. They fill a great niche and look and perform fantastically.

The RodeoH Harness comes in a soft drawstring bag printed with the name RodeoH and some product information. Included in the bag is a metal dog-tag with the word “rodeoH” stamped on it. I know some people don’t really go for the dog-tag, but I loved it. It’s possibly because I think dog-tags are awesome, though.

The iconic RodeoHs, and the ones I own, are black with red accents and a light grey piping, but you can also get them in black and light grey as well as black and dark grey (though those styles don’t go as big as the main style does). The black and red is my favourite, though. I initially thought the piping was white when I saw it online, but it is actually a very light grey, which is great as any possible discolouration will be less obvious. I’m not the best at domestic malarkey.

The RodeH harness is, as I say, basically a pair of boypants with a wide waistband to support the weight of your various cocks. The front of the pants has an O-ring sewn in discreetly to the material, through which you place your dildo. Behind the O-ring is a flap of fabric (red in my version, making for a distinctive look) which keeps the base of the toy from contacting the skin and getting all hot and sticky. Like a little cock pocket.

The harness is made from 95% cotton, 5% spandex, if that means anything to you. Washing instructions are to machine wash cold or handwash for best results (this will keep the colours stronger for longer) and then hang or lay flat to dry.

You pick your size of RodeoH by measuring around your hips and I was between sizes at 51″. I was sent the 52″-55″ harness, their biggest size, but feel I could have actually easily fit the 46″-49″ too simply because of the comfy stretchiness. Handily, if I do need to shrink my RodeoHs at all, I can tumble dry them carefully on medium.

WEARING

Pesky details aside, let’s get down to what the RodeoH harness is like. Firstly, I look hot in my RodeoHs. And I don’t think it’s just me. I’m pretty certain everyone would look hot in these things. They’re sexy but not too revealing and they’re very flattering. What’s more important, for me at least, is that I totally kink for this kind of boypants. Like, ridiculously. Heck, the RodeoH Tumblr is practically porn for me. I mean, look how sexy these things are:

I love the masculine aesthetics of the harness and it just looks fantastic. Not only that, but I really admire the brand image and style too and I think that RodeoHs as a company really seems to be a part of the communities they’re catering for, which is amazing.

So the looks are great, but what’s even more impressive is the feel. The RodeoHs are super comfortable. In fact, when I wear them on their own, I forget I’m actually wearing them. They feel supremely smooth and kind of cool on my vulva too. I feel snug, though they have plenty of leeway for weight loss/gain. I’m quite happy wearing them all day instead of normal knickers and they are just wonderful. That means you can be ready to go any time and you can even pack all day. Honestly, I cannot tell you enough how fantastic these are just to wear.

PACKING

Let’s be honest, this is what these are all about for me. The little “cock pocket” does very well at holding my packing cock and wearing my RodeoHs all day with my packer in was also incredibly comfortable. It was a bit weird at first as obviously the shaft of my packer comes through the hole and then hangs freely on the outside of the RodeoHs instead of being tucked inside pants, but it worked better than I thought. I only occasionally had to deal with the shaft going AWOL and adjusting how you hang is totally natural. If I want to be a bit more “in place”, I can wear a pair of boypants over the harness to keep my package where it should be instead of swinging free.

Very occasionally the top edge of the packer will come out through the O-ring, but there was no way it’d come loose or fall out, so I don’t mind that much. Perhaps a packer with a firmer base would work better, though.

The most important thing about packing with my RodeoHs was that I almost forgot I was packing at all. That’s it, it’s just so natural. When I pack in normal boypants, I can feel the packer stick to me (not fun), I have to worry about slippage and it feels basically like I have something shoved down my trousers. With RodeoHs, it felt like I had a cock. Sure, some kind of cock with no sensation, but I adjusted myself like a man and it hung like a man’s cock and it was just all so normal and natural. I now wouldn’t pack any other way. No going back!

PLAYING

I don’t actually get to use my strap-on harnesses for girlsex or pegging (packing only, sadly), so I can’t give as full a review in this area as other users, but I did of course try out several dildos in the RodeoH harness. The only big downside I found to using these harness-pants is that the O-ring is sewn into the fabric itself and so there’s no way of swapping out O-rings. This means you’re limited as to what dildos you can use with your RodeoHs. RodeoH themselves recommend dildos 5″-6″ long by 1.5″-2″ diameter, which is a pretty decent range that will accommodate many cocks. It can take my Acute, my Adam (as seen above) and my VIP Super Soft among others, but it can’t cope with the width towards the base of my BS Is Nice Basic (Medium). And there’s no way I’m getting the Max in it.

The dildo sits well depending on where you position the waistband of the pants, so it’s somewhat adjustable in position. It’s perhaps not quite as sturdy as a strap-based harness, but then my RodeoHs are a little on the loose side and could be tightened up via careful shrinking if I want them more secure. If you get the right size for you, I’m sure you’ll be impressed with the firmness given by what is basically a clever pair of pants.  Given my RodeoHs are a little loose I actually can access my vagina and clit whilst wearing them, which is handy, but you might not find the same with a tighter pair.

CONCLUSION

The RodeoH Harness is a fantastic addition to the world of strap-on play and packing as well as, I don’t doubt, to the transgender and genderqueer communities. They’re an endlessly stylish pair of masculine-style pants that look incredibly sexy and are also very functional. I love their style and the company itself. I definitely love how smooth and comfortable they are. As I say, I don’t get to used them in play at the moment, but for packing I can barely even think of going without them any more. They have absolutely changed my packing experience.

Before I was limited to using ordinary underwear to hold my cock and I was often afraid of it falling out or going astray in my pants and looking ridiculous. It also wasn’t comfortable, tending to stick to my skin, and it just didn’t feel sexy. It felt like a lump of blah shoved down my knickers. With the RodeoHs I feel secure, stylish and wonderfully masculine. With these I take pride in my cock. It feels natural and comfortable and transforms the whole experience. If you pack, I highly recommend these. And hey, since they’re so, so comfy, they make great boypants too, if a bit expensive for just that!

I highly recommend this harness/packing pants combo, so if you’re keen head over and get a RodeoH Harness from RodeoH themselves right now. And check out their Tumblr while you’re at for some incredibly hot and aesthetic shots. ♦

Why not read some more of my sex toy reviews?

Review – Tantus VIP Super Soft

♦ Disclaimer: I was provided with a free Tantus VIP Super Soft by SexToysUK in exchange for my honest review. Your Mileage May Vary. Clicking any of the pictures below will take you to the full-sized image.

The VIP Super Soft is a somewhat unusual dildo made by Tantus, one of my favourite manufacturers. It comes in the usual Tantus packaging, which you can read about in any of my other reviews for Tantus products.

It’s a fairly big dildo with balls, six inches long by 1.5 diameter, made out of Tantus’s Super Soft silicone material. This is the stuff that the squishy outer layer of Tantus’s O2 dildos like the Tantus Max is made out of. Unlike the O2 line of products, this dildo is soft silicone all the way through, with no inner core of firmer silicone. As with all Tantus silicone, it is body-safe and sterilisable.

It is really the softest dildo I’ve ever owned and is incredibly squishable compared to a normal silicone or even an O2 silicone dildo. It is softer than an erection but firmer than a soft cock, feeling a bit like a firm semi. It is much more flexible than that, though, as you can bend it in half and even stretch it out and it returns nicely to shape. I do think this is quite a robust dildo for that, but it does seem to be slightly susceptible to dents in the material.

The VIP Super Soft is a realistic-style cock, but in a simplified way. It has balls (stamped with the Tantus logo), a fairly pronounced head and a modelled frenulum, but on the other hand it has a smooth shaft with no veins and there is no real detail on the toy. I think this style is a nice balance between realistic and non-realistic, but I’m not exactly picky when it comes to that.

It’s a dildo which is sold by SexToysUK as being designed for pack and play: that is, to be worn in under your clothes like a packing cock and then to be used as a strap-on cock on a partner without having to switch dildos. Ideally, it should be soft enough to squeeze into your underwear, but hard enough to fuck with. Most dildos are too hard to pack and most packers (like my Mr Limpy) are far too soft to penetrate with, so something in the middle would be perfect.

PACKING

The Tantus VIP Super Soft is, as I mentioned, quite like a semi-erection in terms of firmness, so it gives the wearer quite a bulge in the pants. In fact, it gives more of a bulge than a semi-on would, because the toy is obviously sized as a large fully-erect cock. So the look is not going to be as subtle as a normal packing cock. In fact, it’s a bit like walking around with a constant hard-on, not that I mind that look. In fact, I quite like it. I’m a big girl so I want a big-looking cock to balance me out.

The VIP Super Soft is obviously harness-compatible and sits nice and firmly in a harness due to its adequate balls. It makes for a somewhat droopy cock, again not quite fully erect, but I actually find it quite hard to find cocks that don’t droop quite a bit in the harness, so I wouldn’t say this one was particularly awful for it, despite the soft silicone. In fact, the upwards curve of the VIP Super Soft means it hangs a lot nicer than it otherwise might and looks pretty nice. I do genuinely love to have this dildo sticking out proudly from my fly and looking decently real enough to get my mental erection going.

PLAYING

The material is soft enough to pack, but is it firm enough for play? I remember reading a couple of reviews that left me doubtful of this and had resigned myself to using it as a purely decorative cock, but I was pleasantly surprised. It is actually firm enough for insertion and insertion that does something too! It felt good! The material is, remember, less soft than I expected and I found it felt absolutely fantastic on my g-spot. Now, perhaps my g-spot is slightly hard to find and somewhat easy to please, I’m still learning about what it’s like, so it might not work for you, but it did for me. I found that the curve of the VIP Super Soft’s shaft really helped it rub where it should and it felt great, though it’ll do nothing for you if you like a firm touch there.

So the VIP Super Soft works for that pretty well. Where it did really fail though is in deeper thrusting and A-spot (anterior fornix) stimulation, as well as at just sitting inside me and being squeezed around. It did nothing for me as something to contract on as it’s too squishy. It’s great shallowly but as soon as it gets deeper, it’s much less easy to feel the toy. And it’s definitely too soft to give me the ooh-pleasure-pain I love so much deep at the back of my vagina. However, because of this, it does mean you can basically go all-out on the thrusting, so if you like to pound super-fast but get caught out by firmness, this might be great for you.

Whether you’ll find this a toy you can actually use or whether it’s just decorative will likely depend on how you feel about material firmness, basically. I think the shape of the VIP Super Soft is great and I doubt many people would disagree with me there, but it’s the soft silicone that will sway you one way or the other. If you like firm to hard toys, don’t get this. If you need pressure or firmness on your g-spot, don’t get this. If you like to whack the depths of your vagina, don’t get this. But, if you like softer materials, I recommend this. If soft g-spot rubbing works for you, I recommend this. If you like to thrust hard but don’t like to be hit hard, I recommend this. It’s all about your preferences, of course, but for mine I love what this toy can do for me, even if it works less well in other areas.

 CONCLUSION

The Tantus VIP Super Soft is a great toy for me. I love the look of it and the feel too. It’s large and fun and squishy, but also does the job of making me come and come well. It is fantastic quality, like every Tantus product, body-safe and sterilisable. It is harness compatible and can be packed, if a little obtrusively. If you want a subtle bulge, perhaps don’t go for this. It stands up well in a harness too, given its material. The toy has a great shape to it and I find it good on my g-spot and for shallow thrusting.

Is it the perfect pack and play dildo? Well, probably not. It’s on the edge of packable and could do with being a bit smaller or somehow just a bit less in your face about being down your pants. You can fuck with it, but it won’t suit everyone and some people are just going to find it too soft and meh. That said, there really aren’t a lot of dildos out there that you can pack and play with. It’s certainly the only one I own. And I love its versatility, even if it’s not perfect, and I love the look and style and squish and use of it. It’s a bit of a Marmite toy, I’d say. I won’t recommend it outright to everyone, but for some out there, especially people like me, this is going to be a fantastic toy for you. If you think you’ll share my enjoyment of the Tantus VIP Super Soft, you can pick it up now at SexToysUK. ♦

Why not read some more of my sex toy reviews?

The Perils of Packing

♦ Last week I went to the pub wearing my packing cock. I don’t have any packing pants at the moment, though the fantastic RodeoH are working on that (so excited!), so I settled for tucking my Mr Limpy into a pair of boypants.

I added jeans, a shirt and a tie, but I kept the bra and boobs, because cock or not, I like my boobs. And off I went. Here’s a snap of me getting dressed.

It was fantastic. I’m not sure if my friends noticed, but I don’t much care either way. I felt sexy, confident and slightly turned on. I’m not going to do it all the time, but I do like it.

There is one slight problem with packing in pants that don’t have a pouch, though. Going to the toilet. Down come the pants and, if you don’t have a plan, out will fall the packer. Luckily, I had an idea. Pub toilets may have rohypnol in mind rather than the perils of packing, but beggars can’t be choosers! ♦

Toy with me Tuesday