♦ The lovely people at Sex Toys UK picked me this month to be one of the lucky ones to review one of the wide range of toys on their website and this is what I was given:
Packaging-wise, the Icicles 10 Function Glass G-Spot Wand No4 came in a nice box with with shiny product images and a silky feel. I had to stroke it just a little. It’s great quality and would make this toy pretty well-received as a gift.
The toy itself is made out of two pieces: the first, a slender (2.75″) glass wand with a curved tip, the second, a small bullet with wired controller. The idea is that you can use these toys separately – glass dildo and clit vibe – or together, by pushing the bullet into the finger hole at the bottom of the wand, as a vibrating glass wand.
The vibrator is a small bullet, connected to a see-through pink plastic controller with two buttons. The first button is an on/off button and the second, higher up on the device is for the mode. The two buttons are actually two ends of one bit of plastic so it’s really easy to find the other button without looking. The vibrator has ten functions which I have abysmally described as follows:
1- Low buzz
2- Medium buzz
3 – High buzz
4 – Rapid pulse
5 – Rapid pulse with double-length buzz every fifth
6 – Continuous rising and falling scale
7 – Rising and falling pulse scale
8 – Long sections of longer pulses followed by rapid pulses, repeated
9 – Seven quick pulses, one long buzz then back to continuous pulses
10 – Rapid pulses followed by a long buzz, repeated
Alternatively, since I am a Proper-Sex-Blogger-And-Everything I totally took video to show you exactly what this vibrator is like. Please see Exhibit A!
POSSIBLE EPILEPSY WARNING! I don’t know if this enough to set it off, but better safe than sorry. Also, the occasional grinding noise is probably my camera, not sure why.
The modes themselves are fairly varied, however to me modes 8 and 9 are really just space-fillers. It wouldn’t really lose much as a eight-function vibe. The controller has a discreet red LED on it that lights when it buzzes, which I quite like. I can imagine a few situations where it could be handy (like being deaf and using this on your partner maybe). But, more importantly than that light, what the hell is going on with the light on the bullet itself?
For some reason which completely escapes me (answers on a postcard), the bullet lights up stupidly BRIGHT WHITE when it buzzes! It’s entirely unnecessary and really off-putting. Honestly, when I first turned this vibrator on to play, the combination of the silly high-pitched drone (I’ll get to that in a second) and its ridiculous light show on the pulse settings made me physically burst into laughter.
After the laughter finally died down, the distraction factor was still huge. When I’m masturbating I want to be focused, lost in a dark sea of fantasies and feelings. I don’t want bonfire night, even with my eyes closed, keeping me out of a reverie. It’s a big no-no that comes with no plus points unless you find yourself out of emergency flares in a zombie apocalypse.
On the plus side, this is a fairly strong vibrator that competes with my trusty love egg. It packs some punch, but the problem is that it also much noisier than it probably needs to be. It’s loud in a sort of awful high-pitched way that is particularly off-putting and mode 6 even bloody sounds like an old Amiga game. Here’s another video of just how it sounds in the air and pressed against skin:
Tell me if I’m just being naive here, it’s just I’ve never had a vibrator that sounds this whiny and ugly and combined with the light it is horrendous. As a final deathblow, the vibrator also gets REALLY WARM when it’s in use. Now, I’m aware that for some this could be a plus, however, whilst I can take a little pleasant warmth, this thing gets sort of worryingly hot. It won’t hurt you, it’s just rather disturbing.
To sum up, it would basically be a good vibe if not for its slew of problems. That said, I came fairly easily when I tested it, so it does do the job.
THE GLASS WAND
This is quite simply lovely. Just look at it. It’s gorgeous. I’ve never had anything in glass before but I can tell you that the glass is smooth, clear and seems strong. What’s more, though pink is not normally my colour, the spirals around it are very fetching and much better than the Barbie-ish look of the controller.
The wand itself is pretty slim and this has its pros and cons. On the one hand, I really enjoyed that its slender size meant I could slide into my pussy with absolutely no effort even if I wasn’t fully ready for penetration. This has got to be a great G-spot wand for those who need less girth because it is so dainty. On the other hand, the lack of girth means that some people are going to be left wanting a little more. Though I really enjoyed the ease of use of the slimness, I did at times wish I was a little more full, especially when using the vibe on my clit. That said, different horses for different courses. Not everyone wants a big lump all the time and this wand will be great for when you want something a little smaller. Certainly, I didn’t think the size was a problem and mostly loved it.
I was also pleasantly surprised by the fact that I could actually really feel the spirals on the wand. They are NOT just for decoration, ladies and gents. They feel absolutely wonderful going in and you get a lovely sensation from each loop of the spiral. In general, the wand felt very good, though I confess that the closest I’ve got to anything designed for the G-spot before is a rabbit, so I’m not an expert on this. Whilst I have no real basis for comparison, I thought it was pretty good and it certainly made me come.
Being glass, the Icicles Wand also warms up very nicely and pretty quickly to body temperature, though I personally enjoyed its unwarmed cool touch against my slit. I also tried a bit of temperature play with it. I wrapped it up in an ice pack from the freezer for a view minutes before use and I can tell you that it felt wonderful. The coldness dissipated fairly quickly, but might stay longer if it was cooled more thoroughly. Lovely stuff though.
Essentially, the wand is very good and of a good quality. The size is great for slimness-lovers and it really hits the spot. It looks classy and the spirals feel great.
THE COMBINATION AND CONCLUSION
So, how do well does it all work together? Well, so-so. The only major problem with using them together like this is that you have to be really firm in pushing the bullet into the hole because it vibrates itself back out pretty easily, leaving you fumbling around and wasting time. On the plus side, the vibrations do carry down the shaft of the glass wand. However, I’m not convinced they do it particularly well. Certainly, it didn’t make that much of a difference for me. A vibrating glass wand is a great idea, but I think you might be better off looking at some of the more standard glass vibrators in the Icicles line if that’s what you’re after. The vibrations were not as strong as I’d have liked.
All in all, this is a great concept, it really is, but it’s let down on the execution. The glass wand is beautiful and wonderful whereas the vibrating bullet is an ugly sister: strong and powerful but too crass, brash and noisy to forgive. If you can put up with the son-et-lumière, go for it, you’ll enjoy this toy. If not, you might be better off buying a standard or a more ordinary vibrating glass dildo and a better vibrator separately. I hate to speak badly of such a lovely glass toy, but it really is the vibrator that lets it down.
Why not read some more of my sex toy reviews?