Full Frontal Nerdity

♦ The 17th of September was a day I’ve been looking forward to for a little while now, because it’s Pretend to Be a Dinosaur Day. No, really. That’s actually a thing. And why shouldn’t it be? Dinosaurs are fucking-A.

We watched The Land Before Time and ate turkey dinosaur shapes and made stuffing into dinosaurs using cookie cutters. Then we ate those too. I didn’t buy Crush a cuddly dinosaur because I’d only recently got him our stegosaurus Steggy to go with Trymon, our triceratops. We stomped and growled and roared, but the best fun on this geektastic day came earlier on. I just have to tell you about it because it made my day (perhaps, my life) and you will honestly not believe how wonderful, romantic and completely bat-shit crazy my dear Crush is without it.

It was a weird, hilarious but sexy bit of oddity that made me realise yet again just how lucky I am to have him.

It was the middle of a lazy and rainy afternoon when Crush suggested we play a board game. Specifically, a sort of deck-building game using dice called Quarriors. Something odd in his voice caught me and I eyed him suspiciously. He’d been talking last weekend about playing strip boardgames and this one was mentioned then. He had a slight grin on his face that would have been easy to miss if I hadn’t remembered that.

“This wouldn’t be strip Quarriors, by any chance, would it?” I said.
“Yep,” he grinned.
“Oh, go on then,” I relied, not particularly fussed about getting slowly naked when my room was so chilly for the season.

I left to nip to the toilet and told him to find some music to put on. He chose the Baldur’s Gate 2 soundtrack he’d painstakingly made for me last Valentine’s. Geeky and romantic.

He unpacked the game, setting out thirteen cards with five dice in a baggy on each. I won’t go into the intricacies of the game here, but the strip-scoring would work as so: every time we got to a multiple of five points, our opponent would take off an item of clothing. We had four ‘items’ on each and the game ended at 20 points. I moved into an early lead, causing Crush to remove only his watch and socks. Disappointing. He pulled ahead in the mid-game leaving me in a bra and knickers, and then just knickers, while he was practically fully dressed. Strip gaming is so much easier for him. I have to score three times just to see any skin I wouldn’t see in public.

I’m not sure if it was the distracting nature of my unbound breasts that got to him or whether it was mad skillz or pure jamminess, but I suddenly picked up six points in one turn, leaving him having to take off two items at once and ending the game.

I perched on the edge of the bed as he got off the bed and nipped over to the computer. I suppose this should have struck me as odd but I’m so used to nipping off to fiddle about with something computery myself at odd moments that it didn’t register. The next few minutes were a daze of disbelief, laughter and sexiness. You’ll have to give my poor explanation because it really was a blur.

Suddenly, my speakers started to play stripper music… I recognised Tom Jones’ “You Can Leave Your Hat On” from The Full Monty blaring out as Crush turned on his toes and began to sway. I was gobsmacked as he began to slowly and teasingly lift up his t-shirt. I found the sudden burst of Obvious Cheesy Stripper Music hilarious and couldn’t help but laugh, as much as it was sexy. He wriggled the t-shirt to just under his nipples, paused and then pulled it off from behind his head, holding it over his chest.

He discarded it with a flourish and revealed – and I honestly kid you not – fucking circular dinosaur stickers covering his nipples like little pasties! At this point my jaw would have hit the floor if it weren’t shaking so much from laughter. Sexy, sure, but most of all unexpectedly brilliant and ridiculous! I bloody love this boy! Dinosaur pasties! From the dinosaur good behaviour wall chart I had bought him for a bit of fun.

Surely, he must actually be mad?

Mad and wonderful.

I was simultaneously rolling around almost in tears of laughter and watching avidly for his surprisingly good stripper moves at this point. Through bursts of laughter I apologised for finding it funny and told him it was also sexy, but hey, come on, this was supposed to be non-serious. He clearly had humour and allure in mind at the time.

He dropped to a crouch and pulled off his trousers one leg at a time, stocking style, displaying his characteristic lack of underwear, but leaving his package hidden artfully. He stood, swayed and with a final flourish tossed away the trousers, fully displaying himself and swaying his cock from his hips.

Then we had awesome mutual masturbation to celebrate how fucking awesome we are until I came all over his fingers and he covered my chest, neck and the inside of my mouth with his come. All the while, he was still wearing his little dinosaur stickers over his nipples. I loved that.

More than that, I love him. Hey, we’re not perfect and we rub each other up the wrong way sometimes. Sometimes I’m not sure our kink levels are greatly in sync. But, most of all, he is frickin’ amazing. How many guys would even think of doing that for their girlfriend, even if they knew she’d find it brilliant? And, to top it all off, he apparently thought of all that while I had nipped off to the loo, so spontaneous as well.

After the mutual masturbation was done all I could do was giggle and gaze into his eyes and tell him how daft he is and how romantic that was and how much I damn well love him. I still can’t quite believe he did it, but he did. And it was amazingly, unashamedly nerdy and romantic.

Crush, never stop being this wonderful and I will try my hardest to be all that you need and deserve. Also, rawr. That’s dinosaur for “I love you”. ♦

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