(Yes, that link is actually relevant. Firstly, you should see that series anyway, if you’re at all geeky and frankly I hope you are. Secondly, I’ve not just said that lead-in sentence for no reason :P)
In all seriousness though, actually really very good, as I’d expected it’d be. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
So, for those of you who don’t know, the lovely people at Durex were kind enough to send me a sample of their Play range of lubricants to review. All five. Lined up by my windowsill, screaming to picked first.
But of course, I’ve already said which would be the first bottle of gorgeous goo to face the test…
I was already naked. It’s a little habit of mine, I get home and in under a minute my clothes are in a pile on the floor and I’m entirely nude. Perhaps I’m a closet naturist.
In any case, this made it much more fun when I pulled Fractal down on top of me on the floor. He was fully clothed, but no less sexy. He looks amazingly hot in his jeans.
He kissed my breasts, lips brushing over my nipples. After a while of this he was anxious to get his clothes off, but I asked him to keep the jeans on. I think I may be getting a fetish. I scratched at his chest and back as he took off his t-shirt.
He wasn’t happy with that.
He told me I needed a spanking.
He made me lie across his lap, my body pressing against his denim-clad hard-on.
Dedicated tester as he is, Fractal thought it would be fun to see what difference the lube made to the spankings.
He poured some of the silky liquid onto the palm of his hand; a glorious smell of sweetness, summers and, yes, Piña Coladas rolled up into my nostrils.
He smoothed in the lube. It felt good. Fractal started to spank me, hard. After a while of this, he poured more lube out, his fingers caressing my pussy and the tight bud of my anus, moving to slide in and out of both.
It felt very good. Certainly I felt no discomfort from his finger probing my ass. The lube was definitely fine enough to sort that out for us.
He told me not to come. He told me not to dare come. He whispered harshly, filthy words assaulting my ears.
I came anyway. There was no chance that I wouldn’t.
I shuddered and rocked on his lap over and over.
When he spanked me in punishment I came again.
He pushed me off his lap, gently. I sat up and took his cock out of his fly. Instantly, Fractal’s hand was on the back of my head, slowly but forcefully moving my lips closer to the blushing head of his penis.
It looked good, but the ‘professional’ side of me took over and I pulled back to pour some of the Piña Colada onto his rock-solid sex.
Mmmm, it tastes frickin’ good too! And I mean really very good. Fractal agrees. It’s got no hint of chemicallyness, it’s not overly obviously synthetic. It’s perhaps for those with a rather sweet tooth (despite being sugar free), but heck, that’s me anyway.
And it’s pretty coladalicious, for a sex aid.
One thing, though, one thing that I really really liked about the taste of this lube: it’s so sweet that it makes you seriously appreciate more savoury flavours.
Flavours such as Cock, Sweat and Musky Sexy Essence of Man.
It’s the contrast, I would guess. The sweet means you really notice the savoury. I was ravenous for Fractal. I needed every inch of skin I could grab. I sucked his cock like a man-starved whore, revelling in finding sections full of glorious gloop and parts where the essential delicious taste of cock shone through.
I can’t emphasis enough how much you should try this.
When he pushed me down on my back I was still nipping at his skin, tongue flicking out to catch lip or neck or arm.
As I say: ravenous.
He fucked me hard, my back rubbing a little on the rough carpet, my legs between his, crossed to squeeze his cock all the better.
When we were done he slumped down on top of me. When we were rested again we discussed our experiment and our shiny new lube.
Our verdict? As if you couldn’t tell from all this.
We loved it. We’d both happily recommend that real people pay the small amount of real money it takes to get hold of a bottle. Perhaps not for those of a savoury palate, but for anyone else it’s a fine, fine lubricant.
Now, only the other 4 to deal with! ♦
Read my review of the Durex Heat lube here!
Why not read some more of my sex toy reviews?